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Thread: If both parents were incontinent

  1. #1

    Default If both parents were incontinent

    This is something I have been wondering. I pictured both parents being incontinent and they decide to have kids. So they have a baby but because both parents are incontinent, none of them won't be using the toilet so their child won't be seeing it. He be seeing that both his parents wear and will think wearing diapers is normal, even if they had kept it hidden from him, he still wouldn't see them using the toilet. But I find it very darn difficult to keep it hidden. Do you think it be difficult for the parents to toilet train their child and to get him to understand why he should use the potty? Would be be potty trained late because eventually he will figure out other people use the toilet because kids at his school would be and he will eventually discover his friends arne't wearing a diaper.

    I can imagine it must be pretty difficult for both incontinent parents to potty train their child because mommy and daddy both wear them. Toddler hood is at an age where they watch you and observe what you do and copy you so if you are both wearing diapers, they are going to think that is normal. But yet if you have other kids living in the house who are potty trained, they will see that wearing diapers isn't a normal thing and not everyone wears them. In fact they may think only mommy and daddies wear them and so do babies and big kids do not.

    I also wonder if it's still possible for a child to be potty trained on time despite having both parents in diapers. Some kids don't like wearing them so it may not be a problem for the parents to potty train them. Sometimes explaining to them why they both wear and why he should learn to use the potty and not wear diapers anymore, bam they understand and get potty trained. It's no different than explaining why some people wear glasses or use a wheelchair or a cane or crutches or a scooter or why some people need shots and need to be poked with needles (diabetes).

    If both parents wore them but they weren't 100% incontinent or they still have bowel continence, then their kid be seeing them using the potty but they would think wearing diapers was normal so I can imagine the kid may would want to learn to use the potty but not want to give up diapers unless they happened to like their big boy underwear because of what's on them and the only way they can have them is if they keep them dry. That is a way to get them to keep using the potty and not have accidents.

  2. #2

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    I would say the chances of that would be very rare. The only way I could see that happen if both parents were handicapped from the start then it would be possible.
    Otherwise the only way I see it the parents could become IC later on in life when the kids are grown.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    I also wonder if it's still possible for a child to be potty trained on time despite having both parents in diapers. Some kids don't like wearing them so it may not be a problem for the parents to potty train them.
    This. Most children do NOT want to stay in diapers and will want to become potty trained. Also, just because the parents wear diapers does not mean they would want their child to wear them beyond an appropriate age. I think you are reaching for straws here. I am sure there are parents out there in this situation and they have raised children who are not interested in diapers or regression.

  4. #4

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    I think most people with a disability, even a minor one like incontinence hope and pray their children will be free of anything that stops them having a absolutely normal life. On sites like this IC people sometimes indulge the semi-secret pleasure that can come from needing diapers/protection, but this is very different from everyday family life where you do everything to prevent your own problems impacting on others.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dayannight View Post
    I think most people with a disability, even a minor one like incontinence hope and pray their children will be free of anything that stops them having a absolutely normal life. On sites like this IC people sometimes indulge the semi-secret pleasure that can come from needing diapers/protection, but this is very different from everyday family life where you do everything to prevent your own problems impacting on others.
    This. If I had young children I would keep my incontinence secret from them until they were old enough to understand that its a medical issue, so it would have no impact on potty-training them. Having said that I would also bear in mind that some incontinence issues can be hereditary so I wouldn't force it if my child found potty training too difficult.

  6. #6
    NetballQueen

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    I guess it's not that improbable. I know from deaf club that a lot of deaf people will only marry other deaf people, there's an attitude some people have which is a strange sense of I don't know how to describe it but they would be insulted that I write deaf not Deaf and insist on calling me deafened not deaf because I was born hearing. Two deaf born people, if its a genetic thing have a 2/4 chance of having a deaf kid - if that numbers wrong I just got my bio homework wrong (literally, let me know and I'll change it). So If two people with the same genetic incontinence had a kid then it would be 50-50 weather the kid had that gene. And oh my god this is the first thing I understood in bio all term.

    But I think most IC isn't genetic, so all of that was just showing off that I did my homework. I can't see that two IC parents couldn't teach a kid to go potty, I mean sure we can't show but we can tell. long way off yet obviously till I'm married with kids but I can't see the difference between explaining why mummy wears a diaper and explaining why mummy walks with a stick. Besides what does it matter, their dad's Prince Harry, we'll pay someone else to potty train them

  7. #7

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    The question "if both parents were incontinent" might miss an important point. If you ask "if both parents were late in being potty trained " or "if both parents were bed-wetters until they were over 12 years old" I think you would find a lot of evidence to support the supposition that their children would have problems in these areas. My guess is that the heredity bit is more about developmental delay in the toilet training area than it is about incontinence linked to ongoing physical or neurological conditions. Some people grow up late in varying areas of life - but wetting problems that clear up later than usual are at worst described as "temporary incontinence" or "late onset continence".

    I have only contributed this because you have to worry about incontinence a lot more than you do late toilet training.

  8. #8

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    Regardless of whether or not the parents are incontinent, a child has to be potty trained by. Certain age. It gravely important because believe it or not, it helps a child considerable I. Many aspects of childhood and growing up. Not only will not potty training your kids keep them from developing independence, and social skills, but you could possibly risk a bad call for CPS. I know when I have kids, they will be potty trained as soon as they're ready. If bedwetting becomes and issues, and I'm pretty sure it will do to my childhood bedwetting, then I will deal with it in the best manner possible. Same if they unfortunately also happen to be or become a TB and or DL. No child should have to fear a needed item but if it happens to become that, I will deal with it in the appropriate manner.

  9. #9

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    First off, it would be extremely rare for both parents to need top of the line adult diapers for #1 and #2 full time 24/7 and be otherwise perfectly mobile. Most people who need to wear any kind of diapers probably still use the toilet often if not most of the time. They just need extra protection.

    But even if that were the case with both parents, I think it would be hard to explain to the kid that the parents have to wear diapers but would rather not. And that this is a new skill the kid can learn. Maybe it would confuse the kid at first and it would take them longer to potty train. But you still try to potty train the kid at the appropriate age.

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