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Thread: Just discovered I am incontinent

  1. #1

    Default Just discovered I am incontinent

    I have recently become incontinent and I want to know how people came to trust wearing just one diaper? I have a lot of fears about leaking if I wet to much at one time, I have tried wearing multiple at once but that is extra bulky and hard to change in public. Any help would be great. Thanks in advance!!!!!!

  2. #2


    Wear just one at home and fill it until it leaks, you'll get a feeling for how much the thing can hold and won't be so scared of leaks, the first one is always the worst. Also you can buy plastic pants to go over the top.

    Know occasional leaks are a fact of diapers you'll just have to hold out hope they happen in private where you can deal with them easily.

  3. #3


    You could also try sample packs from various web sites to help you decide what works best for you. I have used that approach in making the decsions I have made on what I use.

  4. #4

    Default Just discovered I am incontinent

    Oleman72 is correct, sample packs would allow you more choice freedom. I might also recommend looking into dry 24/7's or anything from Abena. There are many sites, but xp medical has a lot to choose from in terms of incontinence. I have worn Abena x plus's many times in public and even though they are thick and extraordinarily absorbent, they still manage to be pretty comfortable. They will hold multiple wettings and they are very durable.

  5. #5



    it depends on how incontinent you are - I mean there are several types of incontinence, combinations etc...
    if for example you basically constantly "dribble" in smaller quantities, pads with frequent changes are maybe a way to go - those are way more discrete than your average diaper and are changed very easily (no noise, no sticky tapes...).

    if you have "bursts" it all depends on HOW MUCH and HOW FAST... depending on this you might have to experiment with different diapers.
    Until you feel more confident - consider some plastic pants (I HATE THEM... but in the beginning it was better then leaks none the less)...
    Put a single VERY THIN Pad (can be an incon. pad of the smallest / thinnest type) inside the plastic pants and pull that over your diaper... if you leak, the plastic pants will contain it to some degree and the slim pad takes care of the worst...

    Another few things:
    - Develop a toilet-routine... like go every two hours, no matter if you feel like or don't fell like it... this way your bladder rarely will be very full and also chances for "accidents" are much lower... that of course works only if you have some control (can actively pee).
    - Get a bag to put in a few spares (backpack with sep. compartment,...) - change when you feel the diaper being wet or when you had lost a good bit of urine.
    it's better to change more often, especially as long as you haven't found the ideal product... .also it's far more hygienic to change frequently and not stay for hours in a wet diaper....
    - DON't "Double-Up" ... I don't know why some people do this - it's far less economic (as neither of the two + diapers will soak up perfectly, and the chance for leaking is higher... also it will be a LOT MORE OBVIOUS...)
    - Sample packs, as suggested... work your way through all the brands... some will fit you better than others...
    - DRINK... Keep well hydrated... a big mistake many incons make is to reduce the amount of fluid intake... that can be bad for your health!... BUT drink with a bit of a "system"... don't gulp down one liter (1/3 gallon) at a single time... your body can't "use" that much and you'll have to pee a lot more and quicker as well... spread your 2-3 liters of fluids over the whole day at regular intervals... it's also a lot healthier.
    Stay away from caffeinated drinks if you can, from most sugary sodas like coke, and keep your beer/alcohol intake to a considerate minimum. ... because all of these beverages will have a diuretic effect on your body (read: you'll pee more, and more often).

    What I say, is with a bit of a routine, and trying to see what works for you, in many IC cases you can manage with a very slim / basic product easily...

    Not everyone who is incontinent has the same "needs" and "problems"...
    I've been a bedwetter all my life (mostly), and had incontinence issues (daytime) - even though "minor" - throughout all my life.
    At night I wear an Attends Slip Regular M10 (medium)... I've been wearing these for years and they fit me like they were made for me ...
    Only when I really partied hard (not so much these days anymore) - or know that I really will stay abed long (also VERY rarely) I wear a thicker diaper like a Tena Slip Maxi... but honestly... I have only VERY rarely had leaks with The Attends M10 (NOT the "special Care model" ... those don't fit me at all).... And I can easily sleep through the night, without soaking the bed. I have always been a rather "heavy wetter" at night... and I have never seen use for one of those monstrous 4-liter diapers... also having such a massive diaper on my bum would make me feel VERY uncomfortable..

    Now daytime... During the day in 90% of the cases I wear a TENA Comfort PLUS (the thinnest) PAD inside of special hiqh quality cotton fixing pants (Tena Fix cotton)... Over that I wear my regular boxers...
    IF you put those on correctly (takes some practicing especially as a man to get the product in the right shape / place)... they will hold quite a lot.. even if you empty your bladder once, it can be ok - but that might be a stretch.
    Now if I have to drive long distance, fly, or get on a longer bus ride... especially with a plane/bus/train where there's a chance I might sleep - I wear an Attends Slip Regular M8 (medium)... those are similar to the ones I wear at night, just a lot less obvious... and they are really good for more than a single wetting.
    Sometimes I'll wear pants or those new Tena Protective Underwear pants (they are amazing and REALY DISCRETE)... But pants have a huge disadvantage when it comes to changing out of home: you'll have to get out of your shoes & pants completely to get a new Pull-Up on.

    But here's a trick: when I'm out of the house and decide to wear the Attends M8... (a "real" diaper not a pad or pull-up) I put them on slightly less tight than I would normally and wear one of those Tena Fix Cotton pants (they are on the tight side) over the diapers... this way I can pull the Attends down like a normal "Pull-Up" and going to the toilet is really easy and no one will notice, as I don't have to do the tapes.
    and if they're wet enough to warrant changing - it's as easy as with a normal tape-on diaper.

    That system has worked great for me...

    I never would wear REALLY BULKY diapers (god forbid DOUBLING UP) out of the house... I am not particularly freaked about someone finding out, but I'd prefer to keep it private.. also I FEEL BETTER if I don't constantly am reminded of wearing protection.
    Also with thin diapers / pads I have no problem running to catch a train... or do other physical stuff.. whereas with a huge thick diaper it's "limiting".

    And last but not least:
    If you haven't done so already, get an appointment with a professional urologist (you can skip your GP right away, they have NO CLUE usually when it comes to IC).
    Get this checked out... in SO MANY cases, there's something you can do to be rid of the IC... .

  6. #6


    Can you afford the expensive kinds like Baminos or Wellness briefs, Molicare, Dry 24/7? Secure EX plus? If so, try those. Also go on trial run at home, wear one diaper and see how they hold up. Then you will figure out when you should change and how often and what diaper works for you.

  7. #7


    I second everything that EPO1 says here.

    Doubling up will just make it worse; they leak through the gap quicker than they would leak if you wear just one. It's better to get a thicker diaper, or change more often. I find plastic pants a huge help and they're not as horrible as you think, I hardly notice them at all. Your best plan is to get into the habit of carrying a backpack with spares and take opportunities to change more frequently.

    Like you, I prefer pads with mesh pants for the daytime because they're easier to change quickly and discreetly even in public bathrooms, I only use tape-ons at night, and pullups are just not in my range at all; I'm 100% bladder incontinent and even the best pullups are nowhere near enough.

    I can recommend Abena's Abri-san pads, you should probably try 8 or 9 to start with and if they're not sufficient they go up to 11 (someone has a sense of humour there, clearly).

  8. #8


    yeah, though the thinnest diapers I use are Abena M4s, and usually use Dry 24/7s most of the time, then again, I don't worry too much about about my baggy butt. I have worked in a job (not behind a desk) for 10 years now, and not been to work once NOT diapered, I find the dry 24/7s will usually handle a solid 8 hour active workday, with a commute to and from, I usually keep a couple handy just in case. I dont really get much grief from them until I'm hitting hour 11, and the damn things start to sour. I've tried the light pad thing and pullups in the past and found them uncomfortable. My advice is do to what works for you, alot of your choices, unfortunately are going to be from trial and error, I went the high end diaper route because it comes out cheaper for me in the long run, then again, if you are bowel incontinent, it might be wiser to look for the cheapest diaper that wont leak, it all depends

  9. #9


    I have used cheap pads inside my diaper to extend the capacity. You can get them very cheaply and I have usually gone for the kind that don't have a waterproof backing or adhesive strip fixings. They don't bulk out the diaper but do absorb a lot or contain fecal matter. This means you can remove the inner pad and still have a fairly empty diaper fro the rest of the day. This helps if you are away from base for a long time, but the disadvantage is disposal of the dirty pad and the inconvenience of handling it and refixing the main diaper.

  10. #10


    All of the info above is really good. I just want to add this - when you are testing a new diaper, test at least 3 or while 1 works, test another brand at home for at least a pack. Diapers don't always have the same issues depending on even a little difference in taping or your physical activity. You will find this out the more you wear. I have 3 kinds depending on different situations for daily life. Each has their 'best attributes' for what I anticipate for the time wearing it.

    Also, be sure to really test them at home. Drink a lot and write down if you need to how much it held, what caused the leak and what activity it was put thru. The more you know your diaper's limitations, the more secure you will feel wearing them.

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