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Thread: Who's had Success "coming out" to a G/F or Wife about their fetish? Who needs Advice?

  1. #1

    Default Who's had Success "coming out" to a G/F or Wife about their fetish? Who needs Advice?

    So I figured this topic could have two useful purposes: One, anyone who has had success telling a wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend about their fetish can share their story and people who are trying to work up the nerve can see that its a fairly common thing to have a supportive significant other and possibly be inspired. Two, anyone who's looking for advice on telling a significant other can post asking for tips from those of us who have had success with it. I guess I'll start:

    I'd say I've been extremely successful. Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I just know how to gently ease into these things, but the last two girls I've dated are now essentially D/L's. My ex-girlfriend still keeps diapers in her underwear drawer and my current girlfriend recently admitted to me that when I nearly moved out a few months back she was planning on keeping the diapers. Also when we ran out the other week she actually went out and bought some more on her own. They both took a little bit of convincing to actually wet themselves but in both cases after they tried it, they both admitted to being extremely turned on by it. Now there's something to be said for the idea that maybe I gravitate towards a certain type of woman but I'd consider both of these girls very different.

    As far as advice goes, I can just tell you what worked for me. Alcohol was definitely my friend in both cases. We would be out drinking and something would come up and I would just make a little comment every now and then essentially saying you would look cute in a diaper. In my mind that left me the wiggle room for her to think maybe I was just drunk and being goofy. But it also allowed me to gauge her very initial reaction and kind of plant some seeds if you will.

    After that, it was just about figuring out what they were already into and sort of slanting my fetish to jive with theirs. For instance the first girl had a kink for being tied up. So I kind of explored that and figured out it had a lot to do w/ being really submissive during sex. So after we had done that for a while I eventually brought up wearing a diaper after sex as kind of an extension of that submissiveness. Btw, I also really try to avoid using the phrase "wear a diaper" or "put you in a diaper" or whatever. I felt it's just kind of jarring for someone trying to be convinced to try this strange new thing. I went with "wrap you up". Sounds kinda strange but to me it was better than talking about wearing diapers right off the bat.
    With the second girl it was more of the same kinda submissive thing but w/ a lot more of "this is just what Im into and I think you'll like it." With her we just hooked up one night and I had some already bought and when we were done I went and got one and "wrapped her up". We were both drunk so it was fine. Then in the morning we both woke up sober and she's already wearing it so it was a lot easier for us to both just kind of laugh and me explain that it was a kink I have. Like I said both girls got to where they would wear them all the time. The first girl I could literally take into the bedroom whenever I wanted and diaper her and she was into it. I think w/ her it was a little more of the submissive thing because she seemed to prefer I did it. W/ my current girlfriend I think she's into the voyeuristic aspects of wearing. She enjoys going out in them and wetting herself while we were out. She'll even diaper herself while Im away and send me pictures.

    Definitely overall the biggest piece of advice I would give is just be comfortable with it. If your even a little uncomfortable with it, they will be extremely uncomfortable with it. But if you carry yourself in a manner like "yep, this is what I do, whatever" it does wonders for putting them at ease. You can be so at ease w/ something that they'll wonder if its actually a common thing (something my first girlfriend actually thought until I explained it actually wasn't a very common fetish). Whenever you do decide to bring it up, my advice is to just be as cool and calm about it as possible. "This is a strange thing Im into. I think it would be really hot if you tried it. If not, thats fine, but just be aware it's definitely a fetish I have. Everyone has one, no big deal."
    Secondly, the more you can associate it w/ sex the better. Its way easier for a girl to be into something if she knows that participation will result in some sort of crazy awesome sex, especially if you've been together a while and really hot sex isn't exactly as common anymore.

    So theres my way too long post on the subject. Anyone else?
    Also I read through the forum rules, but wasn't clear on how sexual posts can be if they're anecdotal in nature, hope this didn't cross the line. Had a couple other things I was gonna share but I thought it may be a bit much. Anyway, hope this helps.

  2. #2

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    This is an interesting topic, and something I've been considering myself. I've only recently started accepting that I like diapers, and haven't told anyone else - joining and posting on ADISC was a big step for me.

    I'm not entirely sure "Diaper Talk" is the best forum for it, however - maybe "Adult Baby" would be better.



    Quote Originally Posted by peidro223 View Post
    As far as advice goes, I can just tell you what worked for me. Alcohol was definitely my friend in both cases. We would be out drinking and something would come up and I would just make a little comment every now and then essentially saying you would look cute in a diaper. In my mind that left me the wiggle room for her to think maybe I was just drunk and being goofy. But it also allowed me to gauge her very initial reaction and kind of plant some seeds if you will.
    I'm not quoting the subsequent paragraphs, but it's interesting that you've had luck slowly bringing it up and getting diapers involved before you admit that you like them (or like other people wearing them, based on your previous thread). It seems to me like that would be counter-productive, since if I were to do something like that, I'm sure my S.O. would ask why I wasn't more open and honest about it earlier. However, I can see how your technique may be a good idea in the early stages of a relationship, but I don't think it's the best approach in a long term relationship.



    Quote Originally Posted by peidro223 View Post
    Definitely overall the biggest piece of advice I would give is just be comfortable with it. If your even a little uncomfortable with it, they will be extremely uncomfortable with it. But if you carry yourself in a manner like "yep, this is what I do, whatever" it does wonders for putting them at ease.
    This certainly is good advice. I'm trying to become comfortable with myself before bringing it up with my S.O.

    I do wonder, however, if being uncomfortable with it is ok if you're honest about that and bring it up. For example, what if one said something along the lines of "There's something you should know about me - I like diapers. I'm still trying to accept it myself, but I'd like your help help with that." If that's true, it seems like it would be a reasonable thing to say since it's completely honest, and honesty is generally a good thing.

    It also seems like the self-acceptance part might come faster if you have someone to help you with it. I wonder if that's why there are so many posts in the TB forum about "Should I tell my parents?" I've never thought of it like that before, but it kind of makes sense.



    Quote Originally Posted by peidro223 View Post
    Secondly, the more you can associate it w/ sex the better. Its way easier for a girl to be into something if she knows that participation will result in some sort of crazy awesome sex, especially if you've been together a while and really hot sex isn't exactly as common anymore.
    What if it's not sexual for you, or at least not entirely sexual? I can see how that might work for someone who is entirely DL and not AB at all, but don't know how that would work for someone closer to the AB side of things.

  3. #3

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    Well I was lucky to actually meet someone into this too so I didn't really have to tell him because he already knew about it. But in my first relationship I told my ex boyfriend the day after we met and he was fine with it. It wasn't easy but he was cool with it and said they are just like underwear. He had a problem with me peeing in them and then not changing because he thought it make me not able to have kids. Some people have the concept that you are to changer after one wetting but I know that is a load of crock. Some people dribble so do they change after one drop? What about diapers that are made you last you eight hours and only allow three changes a day? I know some people do change after one accident and some parents also change their babies after one accident. But he got over it and stopped bugging me about it. He even tried a diaper on too for me when I wanted to put one on him and I had him use it too but he took it off and told me he didn't enjoy it. I never made him wear one again. He tried baby bottles and liked it but I don't think it be something he would continue doing. I think people can do AB/DL stuff and not be into it if you know what I mean. It's just like how someone may go to a sports game even though they don't like sports because they are going with their partner just to be with them and just to have something to do. People can do AB/DL stuff just because their partner is into it. Sometimes they truly do get into it or they stop when they break up because it was never their thing.


    I think it's easier for a female to find a partner into this and I know how much many AB/DL men want to meet another woman who is into it and it's very difficult. The only thing is they have to have things in common than just AB/DL or be right for each other. Sometimes both people can be into this but they both like different things about it so it may not also work out. I just think it's better to go out and meet anyone and hope they will accept this in you. They may or may not join in even if they are fine with it.

  4. #4

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    Like I said, I can only speak from personal experience. I've never been into the AB aspect so I have 0 experience with introducing that part. I can say that if you are interested in wearing one yourself, both girls eventually asked me to wear one. It just seemed like a natural progression to them. So maybe if thats your ultimate goal you can ease into that by convincing them to wear first.

    And I understand the idea that honesty is always best, but lets be realistic, theres a difference between slowly easing someone into being honest about a situation and just dropping an avalanche of honesty on them all together. One will probably lead to more positive results than the other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peidro223 View Post
    ...Alcohol was definitely my friend in both cases....

    ...Secondly, the more you can associate it w/ sex the better. Its way easier for a girl to be into something if she knows that participation will result in some sort of crazy awesome sex, especially if you've been together a while and really hot sex isn't exactly as common anymore.
    On your first bit of advice, I would tend to diverge from you. I want my relationships to be built on trust and acceptance in the context of genuine disclosure. If I have to be (even slightly) inebriated to share my truth with someone I care about, that reveals a whole lot about me: shame, fear, etc. If I need my partner to be (even slightly) inebriated for me to feel comfortable sharing my truth with them, it reveals a whole lot about me and our relationship as well. Sure, perhaps having some alcohol in your system enables you to play it off as a joke a little easier -- but a genuine relationship with depth isn't found there... And perhaps that isn't what you're looking for.
    For me, I wanted someone to spend my life with - someone who knows me exactly like I am and loves me just the same - who will walk with me - commit herself to me - and do life with me through thick and thin. This may or may not include her wearing diapers with me. But it certainly couldn't happen by me witholding secrets unless she or I were drunk enough to talk about them.
    So, in short, I think if you're looking for a life-partner -- alcohol should not be part of the mix when talking about serious stuff like this (and let's be honest, for most of us, it has been quite serious or else we wouldn't be keeping it a secret in the first place).


    On your second bit, In a sense I agree with you. When I told my (then) fiancee, the whole conversation came about in the context of our sexual histories -- what have we done? with whom? when? what secrets did we have? etc... Thus, it made sense that I would share this in terms of sexuality. "I'm attracted to people (adults) wearing diapers. I get turned on by them. I get turned on by wearing them myself, etc..." While this made it more understandable for her, I guess, it also later bit me in the ass. When I wanted to wear diapers outside of sex or even when she was not around, she tended to see it as a form of infidelity (me getting off on my own without her or behind her back). Because the whole conversation had taken place in the context of sex, she had no reason to know that diapers also are a piece of emotional comfort for me -- rooted deep in my psyche much like many of us. When we went back to have this clarifying conversation later, she had a very difficult time understanding; partially because it almost seemed like I was trying to scramble to cover up what she perceived as infidelity. Even though my explanations were totally truthful, because they came later, she had a harder time trusting them.

    My advice: be up front with the person you love and and are dating. But don't do it too soon (as Jesus said, "dont' throw your pearls before swine") where you might get hurt; but don't do it too late (like after you get married or make a massive commitment). I think our significant others' need to know this about ourselves --- and I think we all deserve someone who will accept us as we are. But I also think we need to protect ourselves and be abundantly wise in how we reveal ourselves to people. For me, it made sense to tell my girl before we were married, but after we were engaged. This may not be the timing for everyone but it might be helpful to know/see. Happy dating!

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    Quote Originally Posted by cm90210 View Post
    My advice: be up front with the person you love and and are dating. But don't do it too soon (as Jesus said, "dont' throw your pearls before swine") where you might get hurt; but don't do it too late (like after you get married or make a massive commitment).
    +1 on that advice. The very few times I have told people it has been after we have established a certain level of trust and respect but not far enough along where bringing it up would qualify as a breach of trust.

    ..also good use of pearls before swine

  7. #7

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    once again, personal experiences. Im a young man, most certainly not looking for anything along the lines of that whole commitment monologue. I was looking to introduce girls I had been dating for a few months to my kink. In my mind it really does not need to be this huge sacred thing I think a lot of ppl posting has made it out to be. You have a few drinks with your girlfriend and mention your really turned on my women''s feet or whatever it is. To me saying your turned on by girls in diapers is no different. Whats the worst that could happen? They say "OMG thats so weird" well you just shrug your shoulders "meh, it is what it is, everyones got a thing." And you move on. No big deal at all.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, Im not sure why ppl are taking issue w/ the alchohal aspect. No one in the world who has been in a long term relationship has ever gotten drunk with said person and that night attempted to introduce a little kink in the bedroom? Spank her? Whatever it is. To me and the ppl Ive talked to its actually extremely common and isnt some kind of breach of ultimate trust or anything

  8. #8

    Default Who's had Success "coming out" to a G/F or Wife about their fetish? Who needs Advice?

    With my wife, I actually introduced her to the idea of me wearing diapers when I was having some tummy troubles. Then later on I told her that I had liked them and been wearing them for a while. I was surprised at how accepting she was. She said they were just underwear and no big deal. We have not yet made them a part of our sex life, and I haven't asked her to wear one yet, but I hope to soon. We have had some "intimate" times that started while I was wearing, but the diaper didn't stay on long. She lets me wear whenever I want to. To bed, hunting, or curled up with her on the couch watching a movie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peidro223 View Post
    Also, Im not sure why ppl are taking issue w/ the alchohal aspect. No one in the world who has been in a long term relationship has ever gotten drunk with said person and that night attempted to introduce a little kink in the bedroom?
    I think there's a difference between a drink or two so you're a bit more relaxed and getting sh*tfaced. True, alcohol reduces inhibitions, but it also reduces the ability to freely give consent, so it's more likely that one party will regret something the next morning. Having a drink so it's easier to bring up is probably fine, but thinking "he/she will only do this if their drunk" is when it gets a bit more dangerous.

  10. #10

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    I introduced my gf to it a few months into our relationship. Unbeknownst to me, she had already known other AB/DLs in New York where she was from so I just about died when she simply told me she was ok with it and would wear for me! This was simply awesome for me but overtime we both started realizing that my kinks and fetishes went far beyond what she was comfortable with and the diapers were one of many reasons we have ended up breaking it off recently. My advice for anyone is to make sure that if diapers are a large part of your sex life like they were for me then make sure your significant other is OK with it or else things could get ugly down the road.

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