OK, this is quite difficult to talk about because I feel awful, but I need some help...
Simon my FiancÚ, (and 24/7 carer and "StepDad" to my children) was joking around with Euan telling him he came out of my bottom when Euan was asking for things to write about in his autobiography homework, yes very naughty, but only he saw the funny side of it...
We got around to telling Euan that he actually came out of my tummy by Emergency Caesarean, I then mentioned that he was completely fine and would have survived a lot longer, but I died on the table, he wanted the "gory details", so I told him them. Simon then joked, "yeah Euan, you called Mummy!" He really was joking in his stupid sense of humour and insistence of teasing Euan..
Anyway, because Euan is an exceptionally sensitive little man, he is now severely disturbed by the fact that he "killed me"!
Strictly speaking - HE didn't, it was the tennis ball sized blood clot that travelled to my uterus whilst growing to that size, and then sat between my uterus and Euan's placenta, causing me to pump 3+3/4 pints of blood out into my uterus, and subsequently out of my body, in the total space of an hour... I was rushed to hospital by ambulance and straight into theatre where they performed the EC. On pulling Euan out, he pee'd on the midwife (this is why I told him the story, for a "funny bit" in his autobiography) they said he could have survived for a while longer inside me, but I died on the operating table and obviously had to be resuscitated...
I was in plaster with a severely fractured ankle, I was even on the anti-coagulant injections beginning with C (I cannot for the life of me remember the name, but nearer to the latter end of pregnancy I was changed onto heparin because apparently there is no drug available to reverse the effects of the drug beginning with C) BUT, I still got a whopper of a clot! They believe it started in my leg and moved to my uterus, I'm only lucky that it didn't travel to my heart, lungs or brain, or any of Euan's organs as a matter of fact!
Three no no's that I was dealing with, when I should be trying to avoid clots:-
1. I was practically chair bound from a broken bone, for the first few days after the pinning op, they didn't even put me in plaster, (To speed up the wound healing process) so I was having to use a wheelchair downstairs, (heavily pregnant plus not being able to use one leg, they decided a wheelchair was the safest answer) and was given a commode too, which meant I was hardly moving around;
2. I smoked in the region of 15-20 a day; (don't lecture me I was stupid and VERY selfish back then, I also smoked during my Daughter's pregnancy and breastfeeding and she was fine, so I decided I would also smoke during my second pregnancy. Yeah, it know that's irresponsible logic/chancing but back then I didn't care what happened, I was so stupidly addicted to nicotine and smoking and so ignorant and selfish (something that my Ex "instilled" (?) into me, I never had a selfish bone in my body until I met him (not my own saying or my self egotistic view, it was my Grandparents who said it, they also told me he had completely ruined me, thankfully I'm now back to my totally caring "unselfish" self, according to my dearest Gramps ;-) )
3. I was 7 1/2 months pregnant - pregnancy in itself can cause clotting risks..
Anyway, how on Earth do I repair the damage that my dearest Si has done to Euan's conscience, and make him realise it really WASN'T his fault? Guys? 8-/
Thanks in advance for any input... :-)
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