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Thread: finding an accepting bf/gf

  1. #1
    bigbabyderek2012

    Default finding an accepting bf/gf

    do you ever think that you will ever find someone who will accept your ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, or sissy side and doesn't make fun of you or tell your secret to everyone he/she knows. i feel like i will never find the one who i will love that will accept me for the ab/dl and sissy that i am and not treat me like a total outcast. what do you think about finding the one who will love who will accept the fact that you are an ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, tb, or a sissy.

  2. #2

    Default

    It depends, my girlfriend does accept my "little side" and she still loves me but she has made it clear she wants no part in this particular part of my life and has asks me to keep it separate. I think the problems may stem when we try to push things onto other, to gauge a reaction or some other reason.

    I don't think too many people who can say "I love you, no matter what" to you with a strait face will be any less accepting of this fetish. Concerned and maybe a little disgusted at first but then if I wasn't into diapers and found out my girlfriend was part of a community that (was represented as) loved to piss and shit themselves, I would be a little concerned too.

    That said people if I had a soulmate who couldn't accept this or ridiculed people (including) who do like this. They would be violating both of my credo's to life.

    1. Do to other what you would want done unto yourself

    2. If it's safe, is conceptual and doesn't hurt anyone (including yourself) what's the big deal.

    So I don't think I would be able or even want to have a relationship with someone like if that was the case.

    Hope I helped.

  3. #3

    Default

    This is probably just my unwavering optimism speaking, but even tho i feel my chances of meeting someone (anyone honestly, let alone someone accepting of my little side) are incredibly slim, i dont think anyone should give up on meeting the right person.. with 7 billion people on this rock, the odds may not locally be in your favor, but i believe somebody exists out there for everyone

  4. #4

    Default

    I am really lucky cause i have a boyfriend who loves to baby me when i want he will change me etc.

  5. #5

    Default

    More than anything, being honest about who you are is what will help you find the kind of partner you're looking for. Genuine, supportive people are out there. I think a supportive partner is someone who is able to accept you for who you are. A supportive partner isn't going to try to change you (although they'll probably change your diaper if you ask ) and turn you into someone different. A supportive partner is going to respect your decisions (as you would theirs), and work with you to find compromises when things don't fit right. Supportive partners are, on balance, adaptive and tend to be responsive to their partner's needs as well as their own.

    I have a wonderful partner. She doesn't mind if I'm in the house peeing my pants and she's working on something for her job. She thinks it's cute because she thinks *I'm* cute, not because she's into the ABDL scene. She accepts *me*, which means she accepts the complement of my behaviour, ABDL or not. More specifically, she's not into wetting diapers, but she's into me being into them. I don't share all of her specific likes either, but I do get a lot of enjoyment (naughty and otherwise) from our relationship simply by being involved and an active participant.

    For me, I waited a little while before explaining that part of myself to her. I took my time, was deliberate and honest, and didn't sugar-coat it by pretending it was something I didn't need in my life. That kind of honesty is what builds trust, because it creates intimacy.

    I hope that's helpful in some way.

  6. #6

    Default

    This is a pretty common feeling in the community.

    In my own case I chose to keep things a secret when I was dating and for years after the marriage. This ended up being a big mistake for a couple of reasons. First, I really did tire of hiding my baby side even though she knew about my plushie and my propensity to playing. Second, she did not take it well and was not at all interested in the diaper play herself. This ultimate led to divorce so I would say it was a huge mistake. Third, and most important was that I needed to be able to share and feel loved and accepted.

    I often wonder if I will ever find anyone else who will accept this special side of me, or even completely tolerate it. I do believe the right person is out there for me and that one day soon I will find the happiness that I really need in my life.

    We all deserve to have happiness, love, nurture and acceptance in our lives.

    Keep in mind that you will need to take some risks to make this happen in your life. For me the very fact that I am so fearful of the risks is also the biggest reason that I did not reveal my true feelings when I was dating. So in a very real way I was setting myself up for failure.

    Of course it should also be noted that a deep and abiding love for another person can help one to overcome even the toughest of challenges. I believe my ex had fallen out of love for me and this is why she could not accept who I was. It simply added fuel to a fire that was already burning out of control.

    Time, patience and honesty will take you a long way in accomplishing what you truly desire.

  7. #7

    Default

    Acceptance is being OK with something right...but you want better than that. You need someone that loves you unconditionally. The trick here is that they need to really get to know you to really love you unconditionally. But I'm not convinced that that includes all of your kinks initially. I know some people recommend spilling your secret first up, and yes you might find a tolerant person who accepts your kink, but how can you be sure they will respect your privacy long term at such an early stage of a relationship. At least allowing someone to fall in love with you first gives some surety that you can share with confidence one of your most intimate secrets.....Well that's my take anyway....I'm sure that there is someone there for you. My advice, love yourself so that you can be lovable, respect yourself so you can respect others and things should work out.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by ozbub View Post
    Acceptance is being OK with something right...but you want better than that. You need someone that loves you unconditionally. The trick here is that they need to really get to know you to really love you unconditionally. But I'm not convinced that that includes all of your kinks initially. I know some people recommend spilling your secret first up, and yes you might find a tolerant person who accepts your kink, but how can you be sure they will respect your privacy long term at such an early stage of a relationship. At least allowing someone to fall in love with you first gives some surety that you can share with confidence one of your most intimate secrets.....Well that's my take anyway....I'm sure that there is someone there for you. My advice, love yourself so that you can be lovable, respect yourself so you can respect others and things should work out.
    Well said, tolerance is ok but not really old enough. Unconditional love is what we should all be striving for,

  9. #9
    BabyJayk

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bigbabyderek2012 View Post
    do you ever think that you will ever find someone who will accept your ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, or sissy side and doesn't make fun of you or tell your secret to everyone he/she knows. i feel like i will never find the one who i will love that will accept me for the ab/dl and sissy that i am and not treat me like a total outcast. what do you think about finding the one who will love who will accept the fact that you are an ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, tb, or a sissy.
    I was extremely lucky to find the woman I did. She accepts me and participates in taking care of me when I need some little time.
    I think part of it is accepting yourself. Another part of it is determining to what extent you take your "little time". I think for most potential mates its easier for them to accept it as a coping mechanism that you partake in occasionally, instead of something you live 24/7. (If you are IC its somewhat different, for some reason if its a medical necessity people aren't as bothered by it, go figure). The point being if you have if you have made it this far you probably accept that your AB/DL/LG/Sissy/??? ness is not changing. So its a part of you. In my mind is someone isn't okay with everything about you they are not worth your time and you shouldn't waste your time trying to be with them.
    Your little side can be used to make your relationship stronger. If your significant other chooses to try taking care of you for instance, they often discover they like the level of trust you place in them, and the special status they enjoy above and beyond that of a mere boyfriend or girlfriend. When you come out to them its all about presentation.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbabyderek2012 View Post
    do you ever think that you will ever find someone who will accept your ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, or sissy side and doesn't make fun of you or tell your secret to everyone he/she knows. i feel like i will never find the one who i will love that will accept me for the ab/dl and sissy that i am and not treat me like a total outcast. what do you think about finding the one who will love who will accept the fact that you are an ab, dl, babyfur, diaperfur, tb, or a sissy.
    Well i just want to say that they do exist.
    My wife is proof of this.

    I don't think you are asking to much either because what you seem to seek is somebody that will accept you for who you are.
    However there will be a limit as to how much freedom you would be able to enjoy with your lifestyle, but i think that goes without saying, because relationships are about compromise.

    If it wasn't ABDL then it would be about how much sport the man could watch or how much golf he may play without neglecting his significant other.
    Ultimately though i am certain you will find this person where, is another matter entirely.

    Good luck friend.

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