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Thread: How do you talk to your psychiatrist about gender issues(brought on by todays visit)

  1. #1

    Default How do you talk to your psychiatrist about gender issues(brought on by todays visit)

    I have been seeing my psychiatrist for a while now for ocd and anxiety he also worked previously as an M.D. for a while before moving into psychiatry. Anyway that is his background, when he asked how was doing personally after checking in on the medication I said okay at first but then went on to explain some home pressures saying that were some lifestyle choices I could not tell my parents about eating at me, and I kept it pretty nondescript, as well as mentioning the pressures of school and my unstable Dad. The Dr. thinks that my upcoming trip to germany could help me move in the right direction as far as my psyche is concerned. Back to the question though do I tell him directly about the gender issues and let him elect if a therapist would best or do I ask him if he can recommend a therapist in a nondescript way to help me sort out some personal issues.
    They have been causing a lot of turmoil lately with pressure to be a man, have girl friends etc when I simply feel like I am not a man per say as much as I put on my man costume and go play my role to meet expectations put on me, usually meet at level far greater than what is excepted. It leaves me though feeling as if my body were ship and I am a woman piloting trying to look as manly as possible so I don't get noticed, and leaves me very tired wearing this costume day in and day out.

    Any help/advice would be appreciated.
    Last edited by EmilyAdella; 23-Oct-2012 at 07:41. Reason: proof read

  2. #2


    If it were me I would ask directly as there are therapists that deal with issues of sex and gender exclusively.

  3. #3


    good evening/morning, Adella....

    i wish that you had your good old EC status back so i could PM you, but C'est-la-vie.....
    having some familiarity with your private life as i do, i would suggest that you just come out and tell the Dr. directly of your gender feelings/problems. if i understand everything correctly, it is likely that your Dr. will try to get a clear understanding of your needs and then send you to the right specialist.... and at the same time, the Dr. can also adjust his treatment of you if need be given this new information....

    PS... i know it's hard to share this sort of thing with someone. but of all the people that you may end up telling, the Dr. will be the easiest one of the lot.... (smile)

    your buds....
    Last edited by littlelodgewrecker; 23-Oct-2012 at 08:39.

  4. #4


    Bringing it up to someone if you've never done it before is H-A-R-D. I told my therapist I was confused about my gender about two years ago, and when I did, I swear I must have been shaking worse than a rattlesnake's tail! Even for a while after I was thinking to myself 'I can't believe I actually said it...' Believe me though, you'll feel much better once you do, I know I did.

    I've been crossdressing off and on since then, but only a little bit. I'm working on getting an appointment with a specialist right now, I just went for an intake appointment for a place a few days ago, and I'm expecting another phone call to meet with a therapist within the next few weeks.

    The best advice I can give you is to just say it. When I told my therapist, I literally just came out and said "Doc, I'm having some problems with my gender identity." and he was like "Oh, okay. Well I know of a few people who specialize in that sort of thing." (it didn't happen exactly like that, but you get the idea)

    The only difference there is between you and me is that you seem sure of yourself, whereas I'm just mostly lost... :\

    At any rate, good luck!

  5. #5


    "I'm a girl. I'd like your help with doing this properly, but to her honest it means so much to me that I'm not going to give someone else the power to hold me back. So help. Or don't. I'm probably safer if you do, though~"

    That's how I did it~

  6. #6


    i have a therapist and i have discussed this issue with her multiple times and she asks me how i feel in girls clothes and my response is that i feel safe and secure dressing like a girl and have no problem dressing in the opposite genders clothes because it is perfectly natural to feel this way and your fear of going to see a therapist is also a fear i went through but i feel the safer in girls clothes but after seeing my therapist for awhile she got me out of girls clothes most of the time even though they make girl like underwear for guys and sockes with pink on them but every now and then i wear girly clothes around the house when my roommates are out and i am home alone so they don't judge me

  7. #7


    Thankyou for your advice my next appoint with the psychiatrist in question is a few months down the road as he is not my primary, so I will have a little time work up the strength to talk to him. I would talk to my primary when I see her next which only in a few weeks but she and her staff are too close, in that even with doctor patient privilege something like this would be bound to leak out to other family members as they see her as well, she would not do on purpose but my mother and father both see her and my mom tutors many of her staff members children.

    Thankyou as well for sharing your experience bigbabyderek, that is very much why I want see a therapist first before embarking wholly on this is that while being treated and dressed a girl/woman feels right and feels more like who I am I want to be able to discuss it with someone who may have another way of seeing my mind then I do, that is being able to see things we miss when we look into our own inner mirror, for which we probably due much of the same things as we do with a physical mirror, magnifying some areas and shrinking others.
    Last edited by EmilyAdella; 24-Oct-2012 at 02:53. Reason: update

  8. #8


    I don't know your doctor, but if she leaked out something which you told her in confidence, patient/doctor, you could sue her for malpractice. I'm sure she wouldn't leak it, but I sense that you have a relationship with her that makes it difficult for you to divulge that sort of information. My medical doctor has been my doctor for 32 years, and so I see him as a friend, meaning that I wouldn't feel comfortable telling him information about diapers or my bi-sexuality. Sometimes doctor/patient relationships can be complicated. However, you should be able to tell someone in the psychiatric field, and if that's the one you see less frequently, then wait until then. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to discuss this.

    When my mom sent me to see a psychiatrist after I had been discovered, my stash and porn, I had to tell him on the first visit, about my wearing and using diapers, and being attracted to males my age and a little bit younger. I didn't handle it well, and I felt like I was insane. I didn't get much support or help, and eventually I talked my mom out of the sessions. I'm sure they could have helped, but it never happened. For that reason, I wouldn't lose this opportunity, because I think it is something very serious, and something you will need to find some direction. Also remember that you are still young, and as we mature, our perceptions can change. They may not, but mine did over time. I wish you the best in all of this.

  9. #9


    I would echo suggestions you see a sex therapist. My first therapist actually insisted I switch over to one. I don't think she was disgusted with infantilism, just knew it was out of her league.

    Thankfully, the referral was spot on, and I'm glad I was kicked over to my current therapist. A good sex therapist will definitely help with gender issues, and probably has at least seen infantilism in the past as well.

    Oh, and don't feel hesitant to fire a therapist. It makes it easier to tell your therapist what you really think (including when they're doing a crap job of helping), and like all medical professionals, some are just quacks.

  10. #10


    I personally found it best to be straight forward and blunt with my therapist about this "is who I am and will be" the rest was mainly a lot of shaking and crying

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