I am not sure this is the right section but here goes.
I own a car that makes a reasonably amount of power(700hp+) and there are times where I drive hoping that someone would cut me off so I can crash my car, and wake up in a hospital. I always wear a diaper and imagine waking up to being changed by a nurse. What should I do, wanting to crash a car is not safe, as there is no current that I would survive. Does this make me suicidal? I do not want to die, but crashing at 60+ dieing is a possibility. I do not want to injure any but myself, but I feel like crashing a car on purpose is not a healthy desire. There have been times where I would drive 200+ miles for no reason other then hoping someone would cause me to crash. Is this a psychological problem?
I have only told very close friends of this desire while extremely intoxicated.