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Thread: Just need some support :/

  1. #1

    Default Just need some support :/

    Sooo My gf and I dated for a little over a year and broke up about 3 months ago. She was the first girl to change me and interact with my AB side. She said she was ok with it as I told her before the relationship got too serious but she didnt want it to be an all the time thing, understandable! However weve kept contact since the break up and we both still have strong feeling but she strait up treats me like [email protected]?! sometimes, and isnt very supportive of my other passions in life. I just dont know what to do. I mean if I lose her then I run a risk of another girl freaking out when I spill the ABDL beans and her telling everyone I know. My most recent ex said she would take it to the grave and thus far I believe she means it. Im really torn up over this and she really means alot to me. My friends say to stop seeing her but they don't know about the ABDL thing (they have only heard a different ex's "rumors" about it) and how difficult dating can be with it. I truly love her but shes the one that left me. I just dont know what to do. Im so distraught, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2

    Default

    Well... relationships are both HARD and COMPLICATED. She left you which leaves her the one in control. I have had girlfriends leave me as well and I can tell you from experience that it is time to move on, yet remain in contact if both of you are comfortable doing so. You have your whole life ahead of you and a world filled with people. My grandmother always said, there is a lid for every pot.

    I will expand on this... Not only is there a lid for every pot, but there are multiple lids for every pot. You have to put yourself out there and meet new people. It's HARD, it's TOUGH. Things may wind up working out with you and your ex.... or maybe they won't.

    It's a BIG world out there.

    Go out into it.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyMitchy View Post
    Well... relationships are both HARD and COMPLICATED. She left you which leaves her the one in control. I have had girlfriends leave me as well and I can tell you from experience that it is time to move on, yet remain in contact if both of you are comfortable doing so. You have your whole life ahead of you and a world filled with people. My grandmother always said, there is a lid for every pot.

    I will expand on this... Not only is there a lid for every pot, but there are multiple lids for every pot. You have to put yourself out there and meet new people. It's HARD, it's TOUGH. Things may wind up working out with you and your ex.... or maybe they won't.

    It's a BIG world out there.

    Go out into it.
    I agree with you BabyMitchy...it is a HUGE world out there and it can be extremely stressful going out into it when knowing you have these needs and desires...but do not allow your passion to become your jailer...you control it and not the other way around. I am sorry to hear you and your gf broke up, relationships are always difficult and require a concerted effort on both parties involved, add the ABDL lifestyle into the mix and a whole new set of variables comes into play. As the Mommy of an AB boy and AB sissy girl (online), I know it takes a very unique person to understand and accept that way of life...even if it is only part time. But that doesn't mean you need to close yourself off to other possibilities.

    If you two can stay friends, the embrace that part of the relationship but don't make it your ONLY relationship. Like BabyMitchy said...It's a BIG world out there...Go out into it.

    Ella

  4. #4

    Default

    Thanks guys, she was over ladt night and stayed with me, and Im happy so I figure if your happy in life keep doin what your doing. I really appreciate the support. Seems all to often in pop 20s culture that the support of peers can be a bit vague. Not to mention growing up AB/DL and the laundry list of pros and CONS our lifestyles can impact on things pure and and genuine in todays culture. Thanks again guys keep em coming! True friends are hard to find, thats why many of you I imagine live thousands of miles away. God bless you gals and fellows

  5. #5

    Default

    IF (and I use that word strongly) you were interested in pursuing the relationship back to its original status, I would suggest that you have a heart to heart sit down with her and tell her what you REALLY feel, and tell her what your feelings were on the first go-around. But, if like you said your happy where your at, as is she, then go for it. If you can still maintain a "better off as just friends" relationship, then I would do that.

  6. #6

    Default

    Regardless of what happens she needs to be good with it.

    When she treats you like trash there is really something else behind her feelings. I also feel strongly that this might well be related to why she broke up with you. The trick is to find out what it is that she is feeling or concerned about. It will be extremely helpful if you will keep a open mind, if you are very kind and understanding. Have a talk and make sure she understands that you will keep an open mind about her concerns.

    Resolving the concerns and objections will be a powerful part of improving your friendship no matter what happens. Just remember, it is your job to be loving, kind, understanding and to be the one that steps up to the plate to resolve her concerns.

    It is important for both of you to know that discussing her concerns and lack of support for your other passions in life and anything else that she has a issue with is the adult way to manage a healthy relationship. The same is true with concerns that you have over her. Remember, you might not see something that she sees, yet if you knew it was an issue you might choose a different route. When people in a relationship open up and discuss things there are no assumptions and fewer hurt feelings and fears.

    It sounds like both of you really care for each other. If you will both strive to protect and care for each other things may well work out.

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