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Thread: Cause for concern or embarassment only?

  1. #1

    Default Cause for concern or embarassment only?

    First off, let me preface this by saying that I'm a worrier. Even though I did nothing illegal. I am a contractor at a government facility.

    Here goes. I wear on Friday afternoons for 2 reasons, one of which is practical. Traffic tends to be heavy and can get backed up making the drive upwards of 1 hour+ can be closer to 2 and I drink a fair amount of water during the course of the day , in addition, my sister is not home whom I live with as she is at another activity, making it ok to wear.

    So this afternoon after work, I was in a locker room and the far end is two stalls. I choose the handicap one because it has more room to change, however, where the door meets the hinge, it's fairly obvious who is in the stall and to what degree they are clothed.

    So in the middle of changing I hear the combination for the outside door and panic. So I sit down, like I am using the restroom with the product in my lap area in a slider gallon bag. I can through the crack tell it is a facility(cleaning) person. I know who it is and she is fairly nosy and sort of well connected.

    I still had my socks on, so that was good, so possibly, clearly I had an issue, but was sans anything waist down, sitting.

    So when she went into the next stall, I finished changing and washed my hands and left. I guess my question is should I worry? I'm not sure who she would tell or that it's any of her business.

    I wasn't doing anything inappropriate by actions or even illegal. So far as she knows, I am IC. I wasn't in the open locker area either, I was in a stall. And actually today I did need to wear due to traffic, so it was good I did.

    Thanks for reading, guys.

  2. #2

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    I'm not sure what you would have to worry about, what you do in a closed stall is your business. Some people use them to change clothes before going to the gym.

  3. #3
    Cygnus

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    Mr. Boss: "Oh, hello Cynthia cleaning person, how are you?"

    Cleaning Person: "I am fine Mr. Boss. I do have a bit of a concern, however."

    Mr. Boss: "Oh, what might that be?"

    Cleaning Person: "Well, I was cleaning the men's locker room when I saw a peculiar sight. There was a male, he wasn't wearing any pants. I think that he was putting a diaper on."

    Mr. Boss: "Oh dear, this is a very concerning matter that affects our entire organization. We must launch a full-scale investigation to determine the identity of this diaper-wearer. Secretary, call the police department. We have a scandal on our hands."

    As I hope my skit has illustrated, nobody really cares. I think that we all build up a fear of being discovered. I also believe that this fear is very over-exaggerated and causes us a great deal more anxiety than it needs to.

    Think about it: what is this custodian going to do later today? She's probably going to finish up at work, drive home, make some dinner, watch television, and go to sleep. She isn't going to spend all of her time investigating something that she encountered during the daily grind of work.

    People don't have it out to get you. They don't care to or want to spread the word that she could have possibly heard you putting on what she thinks may be a diaper.

    You have nothing to worry about.

  4. #4

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    it's not illegal or even unethical to use the handicap stall. No-one will care.

  5. #5

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    If she did not bang on the door and yell out to see of anyone was home i would not worry.

  6. #6

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    I am also in the fed space, and I have a clearance as you seem to have. I would not be to concerned, yes it true that people can loss their clearances for things that are non illegal or unethical, but because it could be used against the person by others that are well not so nice (and embarrassing fedeshes, could fall under that category) But that also goes with the whole personality profile also. I am sure the gov knows about us and our well desires, but also they probably have a whole personality profiles worked up, if your personality profile shows that even if some one tried to use your diaper love against you, you could look them in the eye and say f* off, then you should be safe, but if you are the kind that would break and give up what you should not give up to them then yes you should be concerned but since you already are there, chances are your personality profile at the gov says you would say F* off to the bad guy when presented with a blackmail threat.

  7. #7

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    I once used the handicap stall where I work to gut and clean a deer. I had hit it on my way to work while driving the pickup, and I didn't want to let the dear meat go to waste, so I carried it in while no one was looking, ran into the bathroom, took out my hunting knife which I always carry, should anyone at work piss me off, and gutted it in the stall. The cleaning lady came in and was furious because she had to mop up the blood and guts, but hey, that's what she gets paid to do. I shared some of the meat with my boss, so everything was cool. This couldn't be any worse than changing a diaper, and the mess was probably about the same.

    In light of extreme examples, I think you're safe. Most people would just think you were incontinent and out of courtesy, not say anything. Of course, they may think you are incontinent and you may not want to give that impression, so be careful as to what you do and wear. As for the deer, he was an actor, and no real deer were actually hurt in the telling of this story.

  8. #8

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    You seem to mention that you were not doing anything illegal, so lets really look at the facts.

    1. You were in a bathroom, not illegal or unethical.
    2. You were in a handicapped stall, not illegal or unethical.
    3. You mentioned something about locker room. I you are undressed, even partially, in a locker room or bathroom, not illegal or unethical.
    4. You were changing a diaper, not illegal or unethical.
    5. You had a diaper on your lap, not illegal or unethical.
    6. You were going to wear the diaper, not illegal or unethical.
    7. You are not incontinent, not illegal or unethical.
    8. You were planning to wear a diaper without an actual need, not illegal or unethical.

    Ok, a facilities person entered the room. This changes nothing about what you were doing, you were entitled to be there and in the correct place to be performing a diaper change. Se may have noticed exactly what you were doing, but none of her business. She could blab but then she has no business doing so, and she would risk violating the ADA not knowing that you have a disability or not.

    Lets say she knows, I really doubt she does, but lets say she does. Worst case she will blab. This can be really embarrassing but should not cause any problems. Again I doubt any of this will happen, we are just looking at worst case scenario. They will not be taking you to a doctor to subject you to tests to make sure you are, or are nit, incontinent. They will also not ask for a doctors note giving you permission to wear a diaper for incontinence.

    It is clear that it are worried and I think anyone would be, so here is my advice and an answer to your question. Don't worry about what others know or what they might do because the reality is that you can do nothing about these things. If you will act as though your diaper wearing and use is an acceptable and normal thing for you, others will likely treating he same way. This means you may need to make sure you also fully accept your diaper use. Strive to rid yourself of any guilt associated with the diapers. This may be a difficult process but with time, positive self talk and continuous effort to accept this as a normal part of your life you will eventually overcome the guilt and other associated feelings.

  9. #9

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    You have absolutely nothing to worry about. As others have said, if this employee hopes to keep her job, she will say nothing. HIPAA and employee ethics/confidentiality would have a field day with this if she were to mention it to others. After many years of being diapered, I've had several folks figure out I'm diapered by hearing me change in the restroom, etc. and I never had a problem with it.

    Furthermore, it sounds like you really needed the diaper. I define need very broadly - both physical and psychological - and it sounds like your need meets both categories. No worries. Take a deep breath and go on. Believe it or not, most folks really don't give a hoot about what you're wearing under your pants.

    Very glad you're here and able to share your needs and concerns. I hope you continue to find good support here.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Garzilla View Post
    You seem to mention that you were not doing anything illegal, so lets really look at the facts.

    1. You were in a bathroom, not illegal or unethical.
    2. You were in a handicapped stall, not illegal or unethical.
    3. You mentioned something about locker room. I you are undressed, even partially, in a locker room or bathroom, not illegal or unethical.
    4. You were changing a diaper, not illegal or unethical.
    5. You had a diaper on your lap, not illegal or unethical.
    6. You were going to wear the diaper, not illegal or unethical.
    7. You are not incontinent, not illegal or unethical.
    8. You were planning to wear a diaper without an actual need, not illegal or unethical.

    Ok, a facilities person entered the room. This changes nothing about what you were doing, you were entitled to be there and in the correct place to be performing a diaper change. Se may have noticed exactly what you were doing, but none of her business. She could blab but then she has no business doing so, and she would risk violating the ADA not knowing that you have a disability or not.

    Lets say she knows, I really doubt she does, but lets say she does. Worst case she will blab. This can be really embarrassing but should not cause any problems. Again I doubt any of this will happen, we are just looking at worst case scenario. They will not be taking you to a doctor to subject you to tests to make sure you are, or are nit, incontinent. They will also not ask for a doctors note giving you permission to wear a diaper for incontinence.

    It is clear that it are worried and I think anyone would be, so here is my advice and an answer to your question. Don't worry about what others know or what they might do because the reality is that you can do nothing about these things. If you will act as though your diaper wearing and use is an acceptable and normal thing for you, others will likely treating he same way. This means you may need to make sure you also fully accept your diaper use. Strive to rid yourself of any guilt associated with the diapers. This may be a difficult process but with time, positive self talk and continuous effort to accept this as a normal part of your life you will eventually overcome the guilt and other associated feelings.
    Yes, this seems to be the case. You have hit the nail on the head for me, I think.

    I am female so that' ok, too, as I was in the female type locker room.

    I do seem to have some sort of guilt, it would seem, and it is really subconscious because I didn't even realize it until now. I would prefer if she did think anything, that it is related to female issues or IC, and that is ok with me, I don't care what she knows, I just don't want it to affect my job status, which, she has no bearing on the status of my job, normally. So thank you for point out that I may have some guilt issues. This is very possibly the case, and I didn't even know it. I was just changing from underwear, which I wear all day normally, to adult disposables for the possible longer than usual car ride home.

    I definitely feel eased I appreciate everyone's input, and I'm going to put it behind me and enjoy my weekend.

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