I have felt a time or two that I should confess my...odd trait. So one day while riding home after my college class ( I am 24) I told my mother. I told her I had this weird fetish type thing, that it was something really weird and freaky, to which she replied, "As long as it doesn't involve children or something, nothing would bother me." I replied that it doesn't. I am no pedophile for sure. I dropped a hint that it had to do with childhood objects and something to do with why I still have all my stuffed animals. (Staying with my parents while I attend college.) She said to tell my psychiatrist, which seems reasonable, I need some therapy anyway for other issues.
The next day, after class once again, I told my grandmother the same thing. She started guessing, but very tactfully. "I have heard of people who like, say, baby clothes." I told her she was getting closer. At which point a minute later she guessed right, and I confirmed it. (It was MUCH easier for her to guess right and for me to confirm it than for me to say it out right.) She was not at all put off. My mother had heard me talking. (I was talking louder than I knew.) I had my grandmother tell her. My grandmother just told me to tell her. "I think I would like to wear diapers." I could never say such a thing out loud. I gave the phone to mom and my grandma told her as I requested. A look of shock crossed her face. However I got the feeling that the reason for the shock as my constantly telling her it was something really weird made her underwhelmed. Apparently to her this isn't something that weird.
She confessed to a few of her own "fetishes" the next day to I guess help make me feel like less of a pervert. One of which is poking needles in herself. (She started when doctors were doing tests in her arms for nerves, and she could hardly feel it. She I guess likes slowly poking herself to see when and if it starts to hurt.) Another was being whipped. (Very lightly, not to cause damage.) Both of them apparently heard that this is not at all rare and were apparently not at all put off.
I guess I should tell my psychiatrist come Thursday, and eventually my therapist. But the problem is they are sure to ask questions like. "Have you ever acted on this?" "Would you like to act on this" and other questions. How can I possibly answer such questions. I had a hard time saying what ABDL stands for to my mother because it felt awkward to me. Any advice?
In addition, for the last few days I have been acting out some of this. (not wearing diapers as that is far too scary encase I am found out, and how would I get them anyway. I doubt my mother would care much as long as it was in private.) I have had say a bottle of milk before bed. (We often have my baby nephew stay the night, so I can easily get away with this, as several are in the house and I make sure to put them back without ever being seen.) For some reason this has mostly stopped my dreams at night, and often causes me to not have the urge to for the next good while, or day. Not having weird dreams about it is nice. Is this actualy helping me or will it hurt me more in the long run. Should I tell my therapist/doctor about this? What will they say? Anyone ever told their psychiatrist/therapist stuff like this?