Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Need friendship help.

  1. #1

    Default Need friendship help.

    My friends don't support me or my abdl lifestyle... I use to believe that they use to support me and they just decided to stop.. but it dawned on my today that they never did support me at all... the only person who ever supported me was my friend Cindy, who is now in the navy and on sunday is going to afghanistan for 6 months..

    I have this friend who calls himself my "brother" in terms of friends... and he doesn't support me at all... I mean lately ive been feeling like such a freak because I am not getting support from anyone at all anywhere... none of my friends who know, support me at all... they all tell me to let it go and how not-normal it is... instead of just wanting me to be happy...

    I would and have gone out of my way to make my friends happy... I have dont things for my friends that make me uncomfortable but the thought of them being happy is enough to get over the discomfort... And I dont even ask my friends for favors, EVER. I dont borrow money, i dont ask for rides, i dont ask for help on work, projects, moving, etc. I just say what Im gonna do and they choose whether or not they want to help, i dont ask for it... All i ask from who I thought were my good friends, is that they support me in my endeavors so long as I am not hurting myself or others... yet the support is not there...

    My friend from the navy... she didnt just support me... she actually INVOLVED herself in my lifestyle despite not being part of the community... we wore together, we played together, we always talked about ABDL things together, and she showed genuine interest... when i asked her Why a few months ago over the phone, she said "because you're my best friend... Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy." and I nearly broke down and started crying.. because i never thought someone could ever treat me the way I treated them... I always thought I was the only person in the world capable of forgiveness (and I mean extreme forgiveness, I mean extreme "whoa i hooked up with your significant other by accident, i was drunk im so sorry *sob sob sob* kind of forgiveness.. i have forgiven people for REALLY fucked up things because in the end its not worth it to hold on to..) I thought I was the only person capable of saying "I love you" to someone who isnt a family member or a significant other... but when she told me that I couldn't hold back the tears... Im not saying i want my friends to wear with me... but what I can say is that I feel so unsupported, even verbally so, that I truly feel like a freak among my OWN friends who once made me believe that they accepted me... but telling me to get rid of it is not acceptance...

    The chances of me seeing her are slim from here to 6 years down the road, which is when her Navy time will end... and in 6 years lives will have changed...

    I feel as if the only reason my friends stick around now is because i invite them over every weekend to drink or smoke or have intellectual conversations... but that's not what I want in a friend... what is gonna happen the day that I have a kid.. or the day that I stop being fun to be around... they're just going to abandon me..... People who i've known for 6-8 years are going to abandon me...

    Who am I kidding... they already have.

    My wife is saddened by seeing me this way.. she feels like its not fair that im treated this way when all I ever do is give people compassion.. and to anyone who is going to say "your wife should be enough", I grew up with no friends... I had no friends until maybe highschool, and I grew attached to my friends.. i love them like family.. and my wife does and will always love me... she will support me solely out of love... but that is a blind support, its like me saying that she is always attractive to me, no matter how out of shape she gets ,because im in love with her...

    I don't handle losing friends very well, so save your words if you are going to criticize me for not putting ALL my emotions into my wife. Also don't just up and suggest "get new friends" because in this day and age thats not so easy when you are an open ABDL and everyone is just out to judge you. If anyone dares compare me to Stanley Thronton, be ready to feel the cold stab of my fury because I don't even TALK about abdl things anymore out of feeling outcasted by my friends.

    In general, if you have nothing nice or constructive to say, dont bother commenting because im in an extremely frail state, and having someone criticize me is the last thing I need....

    Sorry for the long post, but has anyone ever run into this problem, or had this realization? If so.. what did you do to get over it? I've been in such a shitty mood for the last month.. not a day goes by that im not emotionally destroyed.

  2. #2


    1ObsoleteBaby, I'm sorry your friends don't support you. Mine don't either. That's why I have started over on a new path to find new friends that accept the whole me. It is difficult and sad at times, but we all need people that accept us. Once we find people that accept us we will be really happy I wish you luck making true friends and don't be so sure about your friend in the Navy. 6 years is not that long, and when she get's out she will need support too and will be looking for you. You guys will have a chance to connect and bond and share old memories and rekindle your old friendship

  3. #3

    Default Need friendship help.

    Just for the sake of clarification, what would you consider to be being supported by your friends?

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    Just for the sake of clarification, what would you consider to be being supported by your friends?
    Not giving me the option of "stop doing it because you're a man and you need to grow up"... I've told them many times before that this isnt just something you put down and either way its something that makes me happy and its part of who I am... Ive told them that this has nothing to do with me "failing to grow up" which they so truly seem to believe, despite the fact that out of ALL of them, im the only one who is married, lives in his own apartment, works a full time 45-50 hour a week job and handles school on the side... while all of them have money problems, live with their parents, are confused about what they want for their future and then they have the balls to tell ME that I have a "growing up problem"...

    I want the support of not feeling like such an outcast, I use to have security in my friends.. i use to feel like they didn't care about this part of me.. Because i made it clear to my friends a long time ago that this is part of me and that I want the freedom to be me, and that means me wearing under my clothes, me wearing out in public (still under clothes), im not saying things that are publicly or reputationally (thats not a word) embarrassing, just that I want to be me and I want to be able to express myself and my abdl ways and if THEY are not cool with that, that I dont hold it against them and that they have every right to stop being my friend if it makes them that uncomfortable...

    They all knew what they were walking into and they all chose to walk into it... Now I dont even feel comfortable enough to watch TV with them for fear that a diaper commercial will come on and i'll feel singled out again. They all chose to give me the false indication that they accepted this side of me... but they mustve made the mistake my wife made at first that she later came to regret... They mustve thought it was "just a phase" and that it would "blow over" despite me giving irrefutable evidence that this is NOT a phase and this this is HERE to stay.. which also leads me to believe that my friends probably dont even listen to me when i talk >_<

    - - - Updated - - -

    They are slowly making me think of myself as a freak... so much so that I have a hard time practicing my ABDL lifestyle BY MYSELF..

  5. #5



    I am sorry to see you suffering so...and I am happy you have a loving wife but, I believe it is very important to have friends in addition to your wife. People need an extension of themselves with other people...sharing the same interests and enjoying the company of each other. I understand what you are saying in that I too fall deeply in love with my friends and would lay down my life for them if necessary. I try to bring happiness to them in special ways and have been devastated when they have coldly dropped me because of a lifestyle I embrace. I was crushed when they told me I was weird and that I needed "help". How could people I invested love and time in treat me that way? I decided that the best thing I could do was to continue to love them but at the same time, begin to find more friends with whom I could identify with. My heart will always be open to them...but on MY terms *wink* Who you are is not a fleeting feeling, it is something that is manifest within you and a very important part that makes you YOU. Please know that you are not a freak in any way. I know it is difficult, but continue opening that door for the AB inside and try to enjoy the simplicity of that life...even if it for just moments at a time to begin with. The friends you have are still important and valuable to you...there is no reason for you to throw them away...just be sure you don't sacrifice your happiness and contentment because of them. )


  6. #6


    There really is quite a bit to sift through here so I'm trying to think of the most concise way possible without me writing a book. So please note I'm mainly going to offer what may seem like cold, workman like routes to take. Right now though, you sound exactly like one of my friends at the moment as she has pretty much the exact same problem: dealing with issues in her interpersonal relationships with friends and family. She feels she has no support groups, she never actually discusses anything with me until she's near tears and in a depressive state, and she doesn't know how to get the most from her support systems. She also juggles 2 jobs and school.

    This is not me trying to cop out, but this is what I recommended first for my friend was to see a professional to help recognize some of her own personal issues at communicating, dealing with others, and figuring her expectations from people and those kinds of needs. I think that's priority one. I don't have the time it takes or will power to help her out with such things daily. If she did truly expect that out of me, the realty is I can't, not because I don't want to, but I lack the resources. I can lend an ear and sort of change how I interact with her, but she needs to know what that is and how to tell me so I can. She used to think I despised certain things about her and didn't care about her (which wasn't the case, her low self-esteem and internalizing her perception did). So far her going has been helpful in bringing about some kind of change there.

    If this is indeed making you depressed, emotionally fragile, and lowering yourself esteem, then see what's really up with a professional to deal with it (looks like it's affecting your marriage, too). This is not to patronize, but I'm not getting the impression you know what you need or how to ask for it.

    If your friends really are that crappy, I can sympathize. You will have to figure out how to deal with that then.

    A couple of my guys friends don't understand some of my I guess "feminine tendencies" to support them, by that I mean full on acceptance. Some of it's not questioned or laughed at, it's just sort of there. They just don't understand it and sometimes find it a little odd and may poke a little fun at me. Me personally I don't require their validation on that front so it's not a need I require to ask from them. Another example, one my friends feels very insecure if he doesn't talk to me on a daily basis. I quite don't understand why and sometimes find myself annoyed with it, so I compromised a little bit to talk with him at least an hour every other day. If you kind of get what I'm saying here, you may need to fix a dynamic personally with yourself, or compromise with a couple of your buds.

    Hopefully some of that was helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Lost Friendship
    By Khaymen in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 22-Feb-2010, 05:00
  2. Friendship?
    By Maxicoon in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 17-May-2009, 01:09
  3. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-Jan-2009, 06:40
  4. Friendship
    By kik91 in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-Sep-2008, 04:31

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.