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Thread: Curious about Incontinence and School

  1. #1

    Default Curious about Incontinence and School

    This may be too personal a question, so I apologize if it is. But, for people who have been incontinent since youth, were you able to attend a standard school? If so, how did your keep your medical issue a secret from other children, especially in elementary and middle school?

  2. #2


    I'm 70 years old now, but I became incontinent as a result of an unexpected side effect of surgery when I was 14, just as I was starting high school. In those days, there weren't any disposable diapers. So I had to wear thick cloth diapers and plastic pants. There was no way to keep my condition secret.

    I was teased and bullied mercilessly, which made high school by far the most unhappy time of my life. Fortunately, things were much better when I was in university; and I've managed to lead a reasonably successful and happy life as an adult.

  3. #3


    OMG, I'm really sorry to hear that. Those experiences must have plagued you for a while. I give you a lot of credit for braving through and leading a successful life. Thanks for sharing.

  4. #4


    I have stress incontinence and during elementary to high school i occasionally had accidents from laughing too hard. I sometimes got made fun of but never really let it get to me and people who saw I didn't care, soon got tired of making fun of me. In Highschool I wore guards and pads in my underwear to help whenever I had a accident.

  5. #5

  6. #6


    When i was in elementary (only a few years ago) i had accidents quite a bit i never was caught because i usually was able to stop it after i found out i was wetting but if it was bad i would "accidentally" spill water on my pants and i still have occasional accidents but im a master at hiding it and nobody has found me out yet :P

  7. #7


    Yes, I was able to attend normal schools. I was excused from PE classes for most of my time in school due to other medical conditions, so didn't have to worry about stripping down to just a diaper in front of everyone. The toilets at school had no doors on the cubicles, and during the busier times there was a teacher in there too (only now it comes to mind how weird it is to have someone stood there watching people pee) so changing in school was something I didn't want to do. I think in all my time there I only had to change 2 or 3 times, and picked a quiet time, just after break to go.

    All the teachers were aware, as my student records had it listed on there, and when the teachers were using their laptops wired up to projectors when taking the register, it had an alert next to my name with a disability mark. Others in the class noticed it, plus my close friends knew about me, and as I didn't want to change at school I needed thicker diapers that weren't exactly discreet.

    Didn't take long before it got around and become common knowledge. I had no problems from people, other than from the main bully and his group, where I was seriously attacked for it (and some other things that made me different - I have no further comment to make on the subject so don't ask) a few times, and after that all happened, anyone who didn't know before certainly did then.

    As for college afterwards, I had a new start and took a different approach to things. The few friends that come into the class with me already knew, and I become more open with them about it if they had any questions I would answer, and soon enough people knew about me. I had no problems with the acceptance, and being open with it from the start helped me, not having to worry about things. I even managed to get one of my college friends to make use of marshmallows and put one on. I don't even remember what conversation resulted in that taking place, but most of the class found it amusing.

    Anyway, to answer the original question, yes I went to a standard school, no I didn't keep it as much of a secret from others. I had a few days of experience in a special needs school (after one of the worse attacks, when I got out of hospital my mom went to speak to the council and they offered me a place there to try, as they thought I would feel safer where there were people keeping a closer eye on the students) I felt like my incontinence would have been a lot less accepted there, even if there were others there, which I guess so as I was offered a room where I could go to change without a prompt or anything, as if they knew what they were doing. Anyway I didn't fit in there for the obvious reasons and 3 days later managed to get my place at my old school sorted out. I have since returned to that school a few times for other events, and 2 teachers there recognized me, which I found odd after only being there 3 days.

    (Yes, in my last paragraph there I got a little sidetracked, but it was necessary otherwise I would have probably got questioned about that I was doing at a special needs school, and would rather get an explanation out there now before people start asking. I hate that I can't make a simple point without having to go into detail about the background of things.)

  8. #8


    My parents never wanted to recognize my incontinence(despite pediatricians/doctors telling them), so I would be taken in and out of diapers regularly. My parents always figured they could "beat it" somehow if they shamed me enough or "trained" me hard enough.

    So I didn't regularly wear diapers to school(and when I did I was always changed by my parents at home) which was tbqh, unfortunate, because I wet myself pretty often. But I was only picked on occasionally for it, and these days even my parents have accepted it.

    But yeah, in some ways it made me who I am today. Because once you've wet yourself in front of the starting running back for the football team, there's pretty well nothing you can't do in front of people, which has really helped me in college, many of my great grades are due to my ability to give a pretty rousing speech/presentation. Only now I do it with the protection I need,

    As far as changing in public restrooms, I generally aim for the handicap stalls and at this point don't have much problems doing it quickly, though I try to do it before the "rush" so to speak, you never get used to changing when other people are present.
    Last edited by MaurepasGnD; 16-Oct-2012 at 05:35.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by Maurepas View Post
    My parents never wanted to recognize my incontinence(despite pediatricians/doctors telling them), so I would be taken in and out of diapers regularly. My parents always figured they could "beat it" somehow if they shamed me enough or "trained" me hard enough.
    I went through the same. A few years ago I got depressed about being stuck in diapers. I decided I wanted to try to train myself up so just totally stopped wearing them, and my family went along with it, as they didn't totally accept it and hoped the embarrassment was enough to stop it. I did get some control. I can usually manage daytimes without having an accident on most days, but nights are still an issue for me.

    The problem is now I am out of them and tried, my family wont accept that I need them, not even for night, and getting them back is going to be hard, if even possible at all.

  10. #10


    To all the people who've responded, I am so impressed with the way you have overcome what to many people is a nightmare scenario. I really admire your persistence and courage.

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