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Thread: What on earth do I do? I've always loved this man to death and I never meant to hurt him with this!!

  1. #1

    Default What on earth do I do? I've always loved this man to death and I never meant to hurt him with this!!

    OK, first things first the man in question is not my boyfriend. It's an older man I know personally, who is a singer. He mostly sings for kids but he does adult gigs too. I've known him since I was 4 years old, so it's been about 17 years. When I first realized I was an AB, he was one of the people I told...He would not comment except to say he hoped this was something a change of meds could fix. When it comes to this man I'm hoping he'll just forget about it or at least let it go. The thing is I've emailed this guy, trying to have normal conversation, dropping no further AB hints, but this man, who usually answers emails within not more than 2 days, is not responding to me now. But, I'm afraid to send an apology email to him because if he doesn't want to think about it I'm hesitant to bring it up any way, even as an apology. This man is like family to me, but I am worried he has abandoned me over this. Does anyone have any ideas about what I should do? I NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM....

  2. #2


    Maybe he is just to busy right now to answer or his computer is down. You might be making more out of it then you need to.

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    An apology is alllllmost never a bad idea. You should be apologizing to him to make it right with you, not just to appease him. If he can't handle this side of you and doesn't get it--he may not necessarily be the right friend for you. In the end, if it entirely up to you--but if all you've done is drop a few hints and tell him you may be AB? I say you've got nothing to apologize for. -shrug-

  4. #4


    It doesn't sound like you've hurt him, it sounds like you've told him something about yourself that he wasn't equipped to handle/understand, and instead of trying to understand he is instead pretending like you don't exist. Or perhaps as someone else mentioned, he simply isn't available for the time being. That makes him sound like a lot less of a jerk.

  5. #5


    Problem solved. Thanks for the support guys

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by memorychick View Post
    Problem solved. Thanks for the support guys
    OK, how was the problem solved? Did he contact you, or did you just come to peace with not hearing from him?

  7. #7


    Well I sent him a letter (actually a heavily altered version of "Letter to Wife") and he wrote back saying "Oh, so sorry if you thought I was ignoring you, I thought your last few emails didn't need a reply" but, I also think the letter helped him to understand my life as an AB a little bit better. I know him really well and I don't think he's much bothered by the scariest aspect of *B/DLism - that is, the diapers, as what I told him was sometimes I feel like they'd be very handy, like when I wake up in the morning reaaallly having to go - wearing a diaper would allow faster relief when the urge becomes almost too much (which it sometimes does - I've had a few minute leaks in my knickers), and I told him that doesn't make me a slob As for the pacifiers I told him I'd rather have one of those, than vocalize or hum or tap my fingers waiting to fall asleep lol. I THINK he's trying to be cool about it - after all not only does he understand a young child's spirit, but the bond we share is just too strong to break, even when faced with......THIS.

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