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Thread: A little support for the Mommy?

  1. #1

    Wink A little support for the Mommy?

    I am looking for a little support towards the mommy perspective. And idea of what it is like as an AB would be highly appreciated. With this being not only my first forum, but my first time ever even looking into this, I am a little stumped and, quite frankly, intensely lost.

    My Introduction explains the whole thing, and I am just looking for...I have no idea right now. Lol

    Greetings / Introductions

  2. #2


    Welcome to Adisc, I guess this is my response to this post, and your intro post, figure no reason to post in two places.
    Anyway, Wow, you are an awesome lady, and congrats to you and your fiance for being able to get that discussion out in the open and both being so open minded about it. With the attitude you have about it, I'm sure you will find it to be a very wonderful thing in both of your lives if you work on it right.
    My best suggestion is go onto Amazon asap and buy the book, "There's a baby in my bed" I read it recently, and holy cow, the lady that wrote it knew 'littles' better than we know ourselves. Its specifically for couples in your situation, and even more-so for you because it is written assuming that the wife is the likely parent.
    Anyway, you should definitely have your fiance come and join this site, it is extremely helpful in AB's understand their little side better.

    Best personal suggestion aside from the book i can make, is try to involve yourself in little ways that show you would like to see his baby side come out every once in a while. If you wait for him to bring it out and never show any encouragement, after a while he might wonder if you are just tolerating it. You can do things like buy him a stuffed animal if he likes that kind of thing, figure out what his favorite type of stuffed animal might be. Depending on how involved you feel at the moment, you might try bottle feeding him some milk.
    All AB's have their level of involvement, and what they are interested in, it will be worth talking to him to find out what he likes and dislikes.
    Is he more into the diapers and not so much the regressive little side? (i'm assuming he has a little side if you say that He stated he was an AB)
    Does he like to wet his diapers, or even make some messy ones?(Many enjoy wet ones, not so many enjoy a messy diaper, your choice on what you'll change, if any, but changing your "little's" diaper will be somewhat of a hope i'm sure he has)
    Does he like the idea of having a bottle or a paci?

    There are many things that can go into the lifestyle of an AB/DL, just ask him, and do a bit of testing too, there may be things he wasn't aware of, that he didn't know could be so enjoyable, especially if he is still just accepting it, he may have never even tried drinking from a bottle (They are great!), or a sippy. As the mommy figure, in my opinion, you have some room for experimentation, you can probably get away with nudging him into trying something that he hasn't done before. The main thing you want to work towards though, is doing things with him that can make him feel little, secure, loved, and safe. There is an amount of sexual aspect to it all too, but it differs widely among AB's, so you'll have to just talk to him about that, I wouldn't do too much experimenting there without a little bit of adult talk first, so you don't mess with the regressive experience (if regression is the central theme for him that is.)

  3. #3


    Thank you so much for your reply. I am reading it with my fiance as I go through the site. There are a few points in your reply that we have actually already discussed. I cannot lie, at first it threw me through a loop. Being about as "normal" as they come, and probably the hugest prude alive, I found it stepping out of my comfort level to even think about it. That, however, lasted me all of ten minutes. I immediately opened sites, forums, articles, and watched episodes containing one male AB named Stanley. I must admit that I had no friggin' clue what I was doing when I did it, but the more I read, and watched, and heard, the more I realized..I actually think I can be okay with this. some of it actually struck me as fun, and enjoyable. I adore being a mommy in my own adult life. I have three kids, and they are my world. I understand his need to be loved, cared for, and small again, and my nurturing side above everything else answered that need with an intense need of my own to give that to him.

    As for sexual interaction while in these situations, or roles. We have both agreed on this point. It isn't something he is interested in, and not something I, personally, could do. It is about regression, the love, the caring for, for him. I want to be the one to give these things to him. He is the love of my life, and no matter what he always will be. Diapers are a soft spot for me, and maybe the grayest area that I am having a little trouble with. While he agrees that he doesn't want to soil them or anything, I also have a bit of trouble swallowing the changing him part. Which he is ready to respect about me. I don't have a problem with him wearing them at all. It wouldn't bother me, and, in fact, I am sure, would help him in the regression, and give him more comfort in himself while during what we have decided to call "playtime".

    We, personally, have never done anything together. In fact he only told me last night. I have already been told that it is surprising that it took me so little time to not only accept it, but be willing to actively involve myself. To me it is more about one thing...

    I love this man. This is who he is. and of all the people in the world who knows and should be giving him this...I believe it is not only my place, but my privilege.

    I am about to go check out that book, though. Sounds like a read I need to look into.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by QuestioningSilence View Post
    I am looking for a little support towards the mommy perspective. And idea of what it is like as an AB would be highly appreciated. With this being not only my first forum, but my first time ever even looking into this, I am a little stumped and, quite frankly, intensely lost.

    My Introduction explains the whole thing, and I am just looking for...I have no idea right now. Lol

    Greetings / Introductions
    Welcome. First may I congratulate you on attempting to understand and love that special side of your partner, despite it's unusual nature. Many in your situation would be far less accepting.

    You and your partner need to talk to one another and find out more specifically where the boundaries are and what each of you like.If you are willing to do this you will have success. If you are wondering if this will be fulfilling for you as well as him, that depends on how you treat the matter. If his happiness makes you feel good than you will be fulfilled. There is always some give and take but if you can find the correct balance then all will be well.

    As for what constitutes he being an AB that is difficult, as he is an individual. In general terms, most of us enjoy being in a subservient and dependent role. It evokes a sense of safety and trust in a loving caretaker, while simultaneously being completely vulnerable when it involves relationships. Some may like a bit of humiliation, but while this is not my personal preference, it is out there. ABies try to achieve this through age regression and the things we like are an extension of this. If he likes things like pacifiers and teddybears they likely give him a sense of safety and comfort in a genuinely infantile way. We use tools such as these to unlock our inner babies. As for his personal preferences i can not say but that is the vague general psychology of it.

    Hope this helps,

  5. #5


    Pacified, Thank you so much for taking the time to type up a reply. I am finding that I am not just excited by the thought of doing this for him, but I feel like this could be so fulfilling to me that it is indescribable. Every little bit of advice helps. It is like putting a puzzle together, but I don't have all of the pieces. With every post I find I am coming closer and closer to completing that puzzle.

  6. #6


    WOW, good on you...this is absolutely the best way that you can support your guy. Being AB is kinda tough for's not something we chose, it's just part who we are. The ultimate place for an AB is within regression and to be supported during that is the nicest feeling. What you need to remember is that when h is regressing, he probably really is emotionally and mentally, a baby. When I'm at th point, I like nothing more than the caressing touch ofmy partner, I believe she really enjoys embracing me like that too. "Theres a Baby in my Bed" does indeed give a good insight and has plenty of great advice...but, not everything in there is necessarily going to relate to your guy. You must discuss it with him. it's really important that you know 'his' particular needs. Congratulations, keep lovin your guy, but make sure he's looking out or you to.

  7. #7


    Oh yes. We have been doing a whole lot of talking and such, and I can feel and see his excitement that I have decided to become a part of this for him.

  8. #8


    I find that being a caretaker is as dificult, if not much, that being an AB. hee and believe i have been in both places. altought i enjoy very much taking care of my boy. it is nice to find some people that, like me, are looking for advice of how to be a good caretaker!

  9. #9


    I can't even explain at how excited I am at the prospect of being a mommy/caretaker. So much of me wishes I could give such things to others in search as well. For me the mother instinct, maternal side, and caring side has always been very prominent. I love my children, and have dedicated my life for the last five years to them. To me this is nothing different. To offer the same love and care, to give that same safety and gentleness, to someone who regresses and becomes a child themselves.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by QuestioningSilence View Post
    Diapers are a soft spot for me, and maybe the grayest area that I am having a little trouble with.
    I know I mentioned this in my example of how to start out, but I just wanted to add my 2 cents on this part.

    Your man may be different, but, for a lot of us the diaper is the best part. This is the major link to being a child and most of us associate major feelings of comfort with wearing a diaper. Most of us are just doing #1 in them and not "messing" in them which is a hassle to clean up. IMO using a diaper for #1 isn't a big deal at all... but... well... look who's talking... lol.

    Ask HIM how he feels about that, and if that is one of the most important parts to him or not.

    If you are OK with it and he says it is important, I still recommend allowing him to diaper himself and wear it underneath his clothing for the first time. This way you can make it easier to break the ice. Just hang out together or lie on the couch together and watch TV while he wears one. Give him a good cuddling and tell him you love him. Take it slow like that and see what you are comfortable with doing from there.



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