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Thread: My girlfriend..

  1. #1

    Default My girlfriend..

    So as some of you might know already, i recently disclosed my desire to wear diapers to my girlfriend and she's "ok" with it for the most part. Haven't worn infront of her yet but anyways...

    We were talking today about the possibility of her needing to move out of her parents house, she's only 18, because she sometimes feels held down by their strong "Christian beliefs" and said that she probably won't be able to spend the night with me for a long time because her parents wouldn't allow it.

    We were talking and she said she was unsure if she was ready to "leave her mommy" as she put it. Now, her mom is actually her auntie who adopted her 12 years ago because her biological mother was an unfit parent. I'm wondering if maybe she feels she needs to stay with her parents for the sake of them, because they seem very attatched to her. They weren't entirely thrilled to hear their 18 year old daughter was dating 23 year old me...

    So my question is, what can i do to sort of guide her to start making decisions for herself? I mean, every time i ask if i can pick her up her response is, " I have to ask my parents" but at the same time, she constanly complains to me about them being controlling... Any ideas?

  2. #2


    I think this is her decision. Remember that she is 18, not 23, and there is a lot of differences between those two ages. Part of this decision will center around her future plans. Does she want to go to college or further her education? If not, does she want to find employment and begin her life as an adult? 18 is a very pivotal age. At 18, I went off to college, so I was still very dependent on my parents. At the same time, I didn't want to leave home, nor was I emotionally ready. I was when I graduated from college, and in fact, moved to New York and taught at a private school.

    Almost all 18 year olds will say they want their independence, but that's just an emotional response to not always getting one's way. She may not be ready to move out at all. I'd give her some time to think this through. She needs to see the bigger picture which is her immediate future.

  3. #3


    The first step towards someone being independent is that they have to want to be independent.

    If she doesn't want to independent, then you might as well be trying to get her to change her entire life. Even if she complains about it, she may enjoy her dependence or be scared of lacking that constant support of her parents. I should also mention the fact that if she was raised by a protective mother (not even going into the psychology of being raised by her aunt instead of her mother), then she would most commonly be a dependent person, because she was raised to depend on her parents for more then the average. If you want her to be more independent, then you must first start off my stating your concerns and what you have seen. Let her speak for herself, and see if she's ok with trying to be more independent. If she is, then continue, if she's not, then don't and wait until she is comfortable with it. I feel like I should also add that in times like these you want to be there to hold her hand, not drag her by it into the decision you choose.

    I hope this has helped in one way or another, and I hope all is well for you int he future.

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