Heads up, this has some mature stuff in it and you may not want to read it. You have been warned!
I feel really caught right now. I’m stuck in a big struggle with my little side – trying to tell him to keep quiet and shut up because big me needs to do things. I’m repressing him – my little – because I can’t let him out in modern society, not even for the little spurts I need to. I’m not saying I need to prance around in public with my diapers on show – exhibition scares me and I think it’s a little wrong – but being allowed to go outside as a padded little (maybe in a big disguise) is something I can’t do. My girlfriend, my wonderfully supportive girlfriend, has no interest in having any involvement in this past letting me talk to her about it and that leaves my little squirreled away even more. Please don’t misinterpret me here; it would be wrong for me to force this on her or even blame it on her. I’m just saying that I need someone to have some involvement with my little to feel like I’m not repressing him; to let just a little bit of the pressure out so that big me can get on with things for some time without little me clouding his thoughts. I don’t think this is healthy and I bet a lot of you other abdls feel the same way. I even attribute my dlness to this repression – I think and know there is nothing sexy about diapers but fapping of about them and in them is at least some way to get these feelings out.
I’m being very open and honest here with this post and I’ll ask you when commenting to please respect that. I don’t even agree with some of the views I’ve expressed above but I need help trying to find a balance between my big and my little because this is currently a great source of stress in my life and can only be headed somewhere bad – a blow up or a break down, I don’t know which. Do some of you more experienced members have any help you can offer this young closet abdl?
Admins, I’m not certain if this is the correct section for this but feel free to move it if you feel I would get better responses somewhere else. This is a mature post obviously and I might get more suited responses in another section.