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Thread: Feeling ashamed

  1. #1

    Default Feeling ashamed

    Hey y'all,

    I'm a dl in my mid 20's and lately I feel like my diaper desires are too much. I've been into diapers my whole life, but ever since I've moved in with my girlfriend (shes ok with it), I wear them whenever I can. I try not to do it as much when she's around, but whenever I am alone I put one on.

    The problem is I think this is affecting my life - I sometimes sacrifice other things so I can come home and put on a diaper. And when I am wearing one, I tend to be lazy and lounge around the house and put off errands and work. I have always been able to manage my desire to wear diapers but since I have gained privacy I can't say no to my urges.

    I am ashamed because I shouldn't have the need to be in the comfort and safety of a diaper all the time.

    Has anyone been through this? Do you think it will mellow out? Advice?

    Thanks

  2. #2

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    Hi, NYC. I think all of us on here have gone through points where we have felt like the diapers were in control of us instead of the other way around. I know I certainly have. After I bought diapers for the first time I was pretty out of control. I started sacrificing the things I love doing most - playing cello and riding my bike - to spend time in diapers. For me it was such a huge relief to actually be able to wear diapers that I went sort of crazy, like I was trying to fill up a great big diaper void that had been growing for many years. The way I experienced it was like I was finally able to allow myself to feel fully how much I really need diapers, but hadn't been able to until then. For several months I experienced a surge in my desires since I was finally able to do something about them. Eventually, after about 4-5 months, I started to calm down and get back in control of my life.

    So my question for you is this: how long has this been going on? If you *just* moved in with your girlfriend and you are experiencing for the first time what it is like to be able to wear diapers as much as you want, I wouldn't be very worried. If you have been living with her for a while, I would be more concerned. But I'm not concerned about you needing the comfort and safety of a diaper all the time! That is something that many of us experience and there is nothing wrong with it. It's just a matter of finding a way to integrate that need into your life so that you are living a life you are happy without sacrificing the things that matter to you.

  3. #3

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    Freedom with diapers is like giving freedom to a little kid, after a few meals of only ketchup and ice cream you'll get sick of it and learn to make a healthy balance on your own. Either that or you'll hit a major purge cycle that you will probably regret later but will also see as a wake up call.

    Just remember, we use the diapers, the diapers don't use us, SO DON'T DEAL WITH THEIR CRAP!

    And there's my on the matter.
    Last edited by Goofy; 17-Sep-2012 at 04:41.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by NYC View Post
    I am ashamed because I shouldn't have the need to be in the comfort and safety of a diaper all the time.
    You say that diapers make you feel comforted and safe, and they do exactly the same for me... I can only speak for myself, but, for me, diapers represent a time when I had no worries and felt truly safe. As I grew older and the responsibilities and stresses of life became an unbearable burden (aged about 5!) I started to crave a return to the sense of safety I knew as a kid. And, as MyWorld08 explains in this excellent thread (link below -- you should definitely read it!), diapers are a kind of "souvenir" that I've kept to remind me of how safe and protected I felt:

    https://www.adisc.org/forum/diaper-t...-souvenir.html

    So I think, for me, diapers are a coping mechanism; a way to reconnect with the innocent "me" who is unconditionally loved and kept safe from harm... the "me" who feels safe enough to just be myself without worrying what other people think.

    Obviously I don't know anything at all about your life or situation, but if the safety and comfort of diapers are a coping mechanism for you as well, then maybe the way to reduce your desires is to address the root cause -- whatever it is that stresses you out and makes you feel the need to retreat to that "safe place"...

    Also... you say that you are "ashamed"... Shame is a powerful emotional response to the idea of being judged by others. So... almost paradoxically, I wonder if (stab in the dark time again!) the shame that you feel makes you feel unsafe, so you want to wear diapers, which make leave you feeling more ashamed, and then worry that you can't quit diapers and feel even more ashamed! Like a vicious circle or a positive feedback loop or something... If that's happening, the only way to cut down would be to just give yourself a break and enjoy the pleasure for it's stress-relieving properties and put the diapers away when you've had your fun! Maybe only wear at weekends or reserve a special day or two for not wearing... whatever works best for you both individually and as a couple...

    Have you talked about this with your girlfriend? If you're "ashamed", could you be subconsciously worried that she will hold being a DL against you? Are you subconsciously worried that she doesn't understand how important this is to you, so you're wearing all the time as a "test" to see if she really is okay with it...?

    Hey, look... I'm no shrink and I don't know anything about you and I'm not exactly in my "right mind" at the moment, so I hope I haven't been rude or patronising or have given you the faintest idea that I think I know what I'm talking about -- I really don't! Just thought I'd chuck in a few random ideas in case they happen to provide any inspiration...

    Good luck -- I hope you can find the right balance... :-)

  5. #5

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    As others have said, I think you will reach a point where you will begin to taper off, having got some of this out of your system. I know that if I wear on a Saturday, my day off, I too just want to lay around and enjoy the wet feeling of my diaper, so I don't think that's unusual for people like us. However, you don't want constant wearing to dominate your life. Diapers can be a reward for a week of hard work. Make a wearing schedule for yourself, having days you wear and days you don't. I've found that I enjoy the days I wear a lot more because of the days I don't wear.

  6. #6

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    Well NYC, when I came out to my parents and they were cool with it and even let me wear around the house, under normal clothing of course... I did it every day, for about a week. I was off work due to a medical issue and stayed diapered while recovering after moving back in with my parents. I eventually got bored of it for whatever reason and stopped until I moved out again. I think what made me stop was the fact that I knew I wouldn't get in trouble or anything. Which was kind of my reason for wearing when I was younger, the thrill of being caught. Like the reason most young people do stupid stuff, haha.

    Give it time and don't just quit wearing because you feel ashamed, but try to work a scheduled time for it. Especially if it's effecting work. You don't want to get canned for not showing up. Try finding something to keep you occupied other than diapers maybe?

    Everything is good, in moderation.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by NYC View Post
    Hey y'all,

    I'm a dl in my mid 20's and lately I feel like my diaper desires are too much. I've been into diapers my whole life, but ever since I've moved in with my girlfriend (shes ok with it), I wear them whenever I can. I try not to do it as much when she's around, but whenever I am alone I put one on.

    The problem is I think this is affecting my life - I sometimes sacrifice other things so I can come home and put on a diaper. And when I am wearing one, I tend to be lazy and lounge around the house and put off errands and work. I have always been able to manage my desire to wear diapers but since I have gained privacy I can't say no to my urges.

    I am ashamed because I shouldn't have the need to be in the comfort and safety of a diaper all the time.

    Has anyone been through this? Do you think it will mellow out? Advice?

    Thanks
    I have been through this.
    My diaper fetish awoke over a year and bit ago.
    I can understand why you feel the way you do, and to answer your question, yes im my case it does taper off.


    If diapers are linked to your sexuality, then by not wearing or having intimate relations with your significant other, it will certainly be a strong urge.
    It will taper off depending on how horny you are and i can guarantee when you age and your libido dies down so will the frequency of the diaper urges, if its mainly sexual.
    I think you are your psyche are intelligent enough to allow you to wear when an opportunity arises, and by embracing this it could wear the fetish off for you in time.
    Its becomes a problem when its all you want to do and never go out and hang with friends or use normal underwear when an a situation arises where wearing diapers is potentially risky.
    If nobody is around, you have no errands to run, go for it and enjoy, because its a part of you, and you decide when it is suitable to indulge.

    I can now wear 1-3 times a week depending on stress levels and how busy i am, from thinking about it all the time.

    This too shall pass.

    Regards Luckyfish.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by NYC View Post
    I am ashamed because I shouldn't have the need to be in the comfort and safety of a diaper all the time.
    The shame comes from yourself, that what you are doing is not acceptable to others and society in general, and more specifically, not acceptable to you. Once you accept that you are a wonderfully unique and perfect person, diapers and all, then you will feel little shame. It will also be hard for others to accept this part of you, if you can't accept it. Your desires will fluctuate, but eventually reach a balance that you are comfortable with, whether that is wearing all the time or just occasionally.

    I look at my diapers this way. There's a saying about facing life's difficulties, "put your big girl panties on and deal with it." Well, I change that around and say, "put your diapers on and deal with it." You can do anything in diapers that you can do in regular underwear and no one has to know your little secret. Personally, I have always been able to accomplish more and do things better when diapered.

  9. #9

    Default

    Hey all,

    Thanks so much for your replies. They really did make me feel better. I am pretty confident that I will find a balance with diapers. I really hope that my girlfriend learns to enjoy it too, and I think that would ultimately make me feel much better about the whole thing. Currently she is really supportive and tolerates it when I put one on, and even put one on herself. But she just doesn't have any interest in it, and has never brought it up herself. I think I should just take it slow, and be grateful she supports me and is generally fine with it.

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