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Thread: anyone have any resources for quitting?

  1. #1

    Default anyone have any resources for quitting?

    I was just stopping by this corner of the internet to see if anyone had any firsthand experience with just quitting to wear diapers. Allow me to explain why I would ask....

    I'm pretty sure that I'm more DL than AB, although some of the why I like to use them is about control, or lack of it. I had got to the point of just accepting it, and allowing myself to really just think that it's just "how I am wired." The kind of huge problem with me thinking that, is that, well.... my wife doesn't have the same view. (that's a pretty big understatement, the habit would probably be described as intolerable by her) Because our marriage is very important to us, and we are both committed to it, I'm trying to modify out my diaper wearing behavior.

    I already had felt that I was the only one that liked to wear diapers, in spite of evidence to the contrary, but now that I'm trying to quit, I do have the feeling that wanting to quit, and not feel the way I do, puts me into a very small minority.

    So far I have been to a Christian counselor, (I found that condemnation is not very helpful, when you go one asking for help to modify a behavior, but ranting about "judgy" Christians probably needs to be done on a different forum. )

    Also, trying to just stop I'm pretty sure leads to drink quit a bit more, and go distance running to distract myself. I not sure the amount I do either is all that healthy. Also, I have a way worse opinion or myself than 60 days ago, so it's hard to look at what I have got so far as progress. I kind of wonder if alot of my struggles are a subconsciousness ploy to get my wife to accept the habit, I'd like to pretend that it would not happen that way, but I'm super puzzled to be this broken up about something that I would only do 2-8 times a month. Unless wearing diapers is way more important to my than even I had thought that it would be.

    So, anyway, it's strange for me to type all that, even behind the anonymity of the internet. But I really feel like I'm just grasping at straws, trying to find out how to quit, and wanting to talk to someone that is not just going to look at me like I'm nuts.

  2. #2


    Hi, and welcome to ADISC. First off: this doesn't make you nuts. Although we're a support site, we do our best support work in getting people to understand that this weird desire doesn't make them bad people and is something that can be integrated into one's life in a positive way. I wouldn't say that no one ever quits but we hear back from the people who aren't successful. It's very rare that anyone turns up who says they are no longer interested (in any event, I'd say it would more likely be a temporary condition, even if that were to last years). You may get some responses of the kind you're looking for but I expect for the most part, we're going to be suggesting you find a way to make this fit in your life because it's probably not going away.

    I wish you all the best in working this out. It's something a lot of us have struggled with. Most of us have reached a different conclusion but I hope you can find something that works for you.

  3. #3


    hello, and welcome to ADISC, WhiskeyBravo.....
    i would only point you to the thread bellow. not that it will help you in your particular situation, but it is the only way i know of to "stop the need"....
    Last edited by Trevor; 15-Sep-2012 at 17:55. Reason: fixing link.

  4. #4


    Well as you can probably guess, there are no active members here who have successfully quit being an AB/DL so even if there are people who have quit they will no longer be active here to give you the information. If you're serious about quitting then I guess a therapist would be your first port of call as they have the skills and resources that could help you quit, they probably even have therapists that specialise in sex and fetishes these days (although whether there are any near you is debatable). I can't give you any advice on how to quit but please don't medicate yourself with alcohol as that could be a quick road to alcoholism which is obviously a lot worse than liking diapers.

    As Trevor said there are very few if any who have successfully quit and the chances of you doing so are slim but remember there is no shame in quitting and accepting that you do indeed like diapers, no it isn't common but it isn't harmful to anyone.

  5. #5


    I tried for over two years to quit diapers and other baby things for the sake previous relationships. What I learned was that there are certain things about yourself that you just have to accept no matter how strange and bizarre. At the same time you have to accept the fact that most people, including those you care about the most, are not going to accept that strange side of you. I can tell you from personal experience that the chance that you will be able to successfully walk away from diapers is rather slim. Chances are that this is something that is going to be a part of your life, and you will save yourself a lot of pain by accepting this side of yourself.

  6. #6


    As pajamakitten pointed out, you should be looking for a good therapist with experience in alternative lifestyles/fetishes. The main problem you will have is that most, if not all of them, knowing the professional literature on the subject, will want to talk to you about acceptance and control, rather than quitting. A lot of people who are diaper fetishists, infantalists, little ones, the whole gamut of behaviors (with sexual and non-sexual underpinnings) have likely started out with low self-esteem, guilt and lot's of shame. In other words, they don't like themselves or their behavior. Others (spouses or parents) usually aren't too thrilled about it either when they find out about it. The thing is it's probably part of a main construct of who you are. I hate to break it to you, but it will be very difficult, if not impossible to change. That's not to say you can't try or, more than likely, reach a level of participation that's acceptable to you and your spouse. And, remember, though it can cause relationship strain, you are not hurting anyone by wearing a diaper. Good luck to you sir.

  7. #7


    Well, completely agree with everything said from above. By the experience of the rest of us here, most of us will agree that this is just a part of who you are, and those thoughts will likely never go away. I have gotten to the point that you talked about, of accepting self, and realizing that this is who i am, however I do feel sorry for your situation, since it is important to make it work in a marriage.

    Solution 1: Try for both parties to bend and make changes, although i suppose that your wife has been doing some of this by allowing it to happen rather than just leaving, however i'm sure that asking for a little more acceptance doesn't escape the boundary of being morally right. I think this is your best solution.

    Solution 2: Hide it. Keep these emotions to yourself for ever on, and try as little to express them as possible. Personally, i think that this is emotional and relational suicide, so don't do it.

    Solution 3: Keep trying to change yourself. I personally don't think i will ever be able to change this about me, but if i were going to because i 'had' to no matter what. I guess I would change my personality ENTIRELY. I highly doubt anybody trying to change their liking towards diapers will get to keep much of their personality at all, because a lot of it is likely connected towards their ab/dl side. I know that every sensitive emotion i have pretty well is. So for me that would mean that i would be removing ever sensitive feeling i have, this might not be true though. Either way though, i'm willing to bet that the necessary change you will have to make, will change who you are, and your wife might or might not like how that turns out.
    Personally if i were going to attempt this, i'd have to do something that is against my nature, for instance, daily work out, body building, and sports enthusiasm. Not because i'm trying to adjust the hormones in my body, but because i'm trying to change what personality i view of myself, and my personal habits, which means i'd be working out all of the time to replace "all of the time" that i think about being little.

    Solution 4: Continue to accept yourself, and express to your wife that the amount of emotional pain it causes to try and change yourself makes you feel like it is the wrong thing for you to do. Then wait and see what happens to your relationship. Idealistically she will just figure that there is no changing you and then deal with it. Or you might end up loosing your relationship, which non of us here want to see, but worry of the odds of happening if your wife can't learn to accept it.

    Does anybody have any problems with all i'v said?
    As always, just my opinion.
    Kinda sucks though living a life where you feel trapped by the opinions of society about whats acceptable just because it seems 'normal'.

  8. #8


    The answer to your question critically depends on what you're trying to do by "quit." You need to realize that the desires are not something which go away or which can be eliminated through any action of your own. Trying to quit being an AB/DL is a futile endeavor likely to do little more than result in a lot of frustration and unhappiness.

    You can, of course, refrain from acting on those desires, though the wisdom of doing this for a large part of your life simply because others think it's "not normal" is questionable. So, if by "quit" you mean "cease to indulge," then yes, it's possible. Whether or not the benefits of doing so are worth living with these desires indefinitely unfulfilled is a question only you can answer; I can only advise that you think seriously about what that actually means and weigh it against the alternatives.

    Whatever you ultimately do, you will need to eventually accept that this is, for better or for worse, part of who you are. It is not going to just go away, and you're not going to really rid yourself of it. Self-acceptance is by far the most important step you can take towards peace of mind with regards to your AB/DL-related desires - until you accept yourself, trying to modify your behavior to seek the acceptance of others is hopeless. Even if externally you cease all AB/DL-related behavior, you cannot hide from your own desires. Realize that there's nothing wrong with gaining enjoyment from an activity which harms no one, and you have no obligation to any social norms which would say otherwise.

  9. #9


    First, I think both you *and* your wife need to work on acceptance. There is almost no difficult situation I have encountered in my life that can't be helped by honesty and compromise.
    Second, look carefully at what you told us. You are drinking more, you are engaging in what you believe to be unhealthy amounts of exercise, and you feel worse about yourself than 60 days ago.

    Repressing your (harmless!) desires is not only unlikely to work, it is also super unhealthy (see above), uselessly unfair to yourself and is likely to drive a wedge between both of you unless you reach a compromise. If you can't accept each other for who you are, no amount of either of you attempting to "fix things" is likely to work. I think both of you need to sit down, have a frank discussion about your individual needs, and work out how you can both be happy in your own lives as well as together.

    Good luck.

  10. #10

    Default Re: anyone have any resources for quitting?

    You have to realize that not wearing diapers is plausible, but the desires or even thoughts of wearing diapers will most likely never disappear. You will try to ignore diapers and succeed with that, but when there is a diaper/incontinence aisle in the grociery store. You won't just go by it without some kind of acknowledgement in any form. I have tried quitting diapers. I have noticed that I became an emotional wreck. Thinking of myself as disgusting. I would shun away from anything diaper related trying to ignore their presence in which ever form they may present themselves. I started hating myself more and more. I have come to accept myself as an abdl. You have to first accept yourself before you have anykind of emotional relief.
    You have to remember that wearing diapers is not wrong. They just arent socially acceptable and that always sits in your mind. People can be cruel when something that's not normal presents itself. There will always be some kind of remark or reaction to something that isn't part of normal, socially acceptable behavior or actions.
    Not to hammer on religions but this is a major part of your problem. You get biased opinions from most religious people. My uncle is christian through and through and he is stereotypically opinionated. You will most likely receive biased answers and suggestions. Christians don't like the gay community and thats not just based on the laws on gay marriage. The bible does not say anything about wearing diapers because you enjoy them. Christian People buy things all the time because they enjoy them. Diapers are a garnment. We wear them for a need whether sexual or incontinence or the inability to move. Christians are worse when it comes to things that are unusual. They lashout verbally or mentally all the time about things that aren't acceptable to their belief. I remember there used to be a pretty popular singer named Carmen. He was geared towards a younger hip audience. He made this one hiphop style song with the lyrics "Who's in the house... JC". The christian community lashed out on him for making that song. Just for the simple fact that he abbreviated Jesus's name. I used to be a christian but my choice in music wasn't acceptable. My mother was asked to leave the church because she wore jeans and shirts to services.
    This isn't an attack on Christianity, it's based on how "judgy" they are. You call them judgemental and they get irrate and say its more suggestive then judgemental. The reason we wear diapers aren't acceptable to Christians. They are worse than students in school who pick on people for having low selfesteem or physical/mental disorders. The Christian way of life is affecting your choices. They hamper on you worse because of the way that diapers are to you.

    What I'm really trying to say that a Christian counselor will not be the way to go. They'll simply just base it on their beliefs and possibly degrade you in a way. Sorry if this is offensive to you, but in my experience this is what I believe will happen.

    Just don't go and beat yourself up because of your desires. It's more healthy to accept yourself and don't try to ignore yourself. It's a confusing combination of sexual and emotional desires. Just love and accept yourself to be a better person emotionally to relieve the stress involved.

    Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

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