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Thread: Meaningful Relationships?

  1. #1

    Default Meaningful Relationships?

    Ok so, not to sound depressing or anything, but do you guys feel like have real, deep, meaningful relationships? Like, are there any people who you can say you feel really close and connected to?

    I think I'm a pretty well liked guy, with a good amount of friends and a family that loves me, but honestly, there isn't a single person I know who I'd consider myself close to. I just wonder how common this feeling is, or if it's just me..

    Thanks in advance for any input

  2. #2

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    i feel the same way know but there was a girl 2 years ago that i was kinda close to. but dont worry i feel your pain

  3. #3
    Falkio

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    This is an excellent topic, and I have much to say about it. I'm glad to be given a chance to get this off my chest.

    A meaningful relationship is what kept me going a couple years back. I'm gay, and homosexual relationships are frowned upon where I come from, so I never considered dating locally. Instead, I began dating someone I knew online, and it was frustrating to never be able to see my lover. He is a member of this site, but that's all I'll say. About once every six months, I'd be able to take a trip up north to be with him. In between trips, I remember having a monotonous schedule and a full load of classes. I lived day-to-day at that point; working until midnight scrubbing floors, or getting up at 7 to open. I'd either be at work, in class, or studying. Having a wonderful boyfriend helped me get through it. We would always talk on the phone after work, and before bed, we'd call each other. Some of the best moments of my life were experienced together. We even went to the Castro on a date together.

    Eventually, we parted ways, but remained good friends. I'll never forget about the things we did as a couple. Even today, we still have brief intersections throughout the year, and when we do, we're glad to see each other. Needless to say, we were very compatible, and he improved my life dramatically. I did well in classes, lost weight, and carried on under stress because of how happy my relationship made me. To anyone seeking a partner, it is well worth it! Its like having an extra family member around to talk to.

    Unfortunately, my current partner and I haven't fared as well. He's wonderful to me, but we don't have the same connection. A better way to describe our relationship is that we have a stimulating emotional appeal for each other - but its not exactly love. We've been through a lot together, but nothing nearly as meaningful as in my last relationship. We don't even talk very often, especially in voice. He has other friends, a demanding job, and hobbies of his own. I praise him for being so productive, and I will always be proud of him for being successful, but his schedule has interfered with our relationship in the past. We also live apart again. I try to visit him whenever I can, and I always look forward to it. He motivates me to do better in school, so he definitely makes me happy. We have problems to overcome sometimes, but I guess that's typical of all relationships. I just wish he genuinely "loved" me. I can do without physical sex, but it makes me bitter to see others enjoying life with partners that love them. I know several people who take it for granted, and it bothers me.

    At any rate, my current partner is still my lovely matey bear, and I'm very happy for what I have. I recommend finding a significant other, as it can improve your life dramatically, even if its utter shit sometimes.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Volare View Post
    Ok so, not to sound depressing or anything, but do you guys feel like have real, deep, meaningful relationships? Like, are there any people who you can say you feel really close and connected to?

    I think I'm a pretty well liked guy, with a good amount of friends and a family that loves me, but honestly, there isn't a single person I know who I'd consider myself close to. I just wonder how common this feeling is, or if it's just me..

    Thanks in advance for any input
    Truthfully this sounds like a spot of depression, and it's probably something worth getting looked at.

    You're saying that you're friendly, and people like you. Assuming there's nothing minorly wrong with you (B.O., general creepiness, cripplingly bad sense of humour) then chances are your perception of who you have a meaningful relationship is off. If this is the case then you might need something like an anti-anxiety medication, or some sort of mood regulator. Of course I'm not a doctor so don't take my word for it, but generally if you're not making a close connection with people then that's something to be a bit worried about.

    In answer to your question, I feel like I've for quite a few deep and meaningful relationships. My fiance, for one. My mother is a god-send. My brother and sister-in-law, while I wouldn't say we were that close I know I can always turn to them, and they to me, and we take an active interest in each others welfare. I've got a few other family members like that, actually. And my closest friends!

  5. #5

    Default

    I am kinda in same boat as you.

    I am not close with my family as I once was. We drift apart somewhat after I moved away, transition to female and got married. Also I have no close friends here in my town because I didn't grew up here so it's kinda boring sometimes. I drift apart from my close friends from my hometown because I became female and they distant themselves from me. At the moment, only person I am really close is my own wife, that's it.

    That kinda sucks.

  6. #6

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    The girls in my life are gone, the cats are gone, my family was never there so I've been a bit down lately myself. I've some good friends and co-wokers as well as a careing therepist so I'm still hanging in there.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Talula View Post
    Truthfully this sounds like a spot of depression, and it's probably something worth getting looked at.

    You're saying that you're friendly, and people like you. Assuming there's nothing minorly wrong with you (B.O., general creepiness, cripplingly bad sense of humour) then chances are your perception of who you have a meaningful relationship is off. If this is the case then you might need something like an anti-anxiety medication, or some sort of mood regulator. Of course I'm not a doctor so don't take my word for it, but generally if you're not making a close connection with people then that's something to be a bit worried about.
    Haha wow good guess I'm impressed. That's exactly what my doctor's been telling me.
    I still think that a lot of people feel like they're lacking meaningful relationships, myself included. I suppose it could just a problem of perception in my case, but I'm not sure..

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Volare View Post
    Haha wow good guess I'm impressed. That's exactly what my doctor's been telling me.
    I still think that a lot of people feel like they're lacking meaningful relationships, myself included. I suppose it could just a problem of perception in my case, but I'm not sure..
    Yusssss!!

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