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Thread: Weird diaper comment from my husband.

  1. #1

    Default Weird diaper comment from my husband.

    My husband has this habit of bringing up diapers and making weird comments about them. He didn't always used to, despite having broken up with his ex-girlfriend for being AB. In fact, it has only been since I realized I was DL (though he doesn't know, as far as I know, that I am DL.) In any case, he made another comment tonight, this time subtly insulting.

    I was very sore from a bike ride and he was giving me a rub when he complimented my butt. I responded this with frustration because my butt gets a LOT of attention. When I say a lot, I really mean a lot. My butt is popular. I wear Apple Bottoms because nothing else fits my shape. I'm athletic, but store all my junk in the trunk. In fact, my butt once was so popular that I had a group of female coworkers who used to smack my butt every time I walked by (yes, totally inappropriate and I should have done something about it, but I was *very* young and didn't feel comfortable going to HR about it.)

    So my husband kindly suggested that to make my butt less attractive I could wear a diaper.

    Now, every time he says some weird comment about diapers, I manage not to give myself away. I don't panic, etc. I responded with "Honey, I think that would make people notice my butt *more* not less!" and a giggle to show him that his comment was silly. I didn't alert him to my love of diapers, I think.

    But gods, every time he says something weird about diapers it just eats away at me. I keep my cool in the moment, then slowly over the course of days and weeks it just eats at me.

    There have been tons of incidents of him insulting people who like diapers, which I just don't have the energy to elaborate on here. I just needed someone out there to know it happened yet again so that I don't feel so alone. Thank you people of ADISC for just existing and understanding what I'm going through. Knowing I'm not alone makes a huge difference.

  2. #2


    I can sympathize with you, sort of. I started dating my sisters' best friend about three weeks ago now and when we first started texting I was in the process of being adopted by my Mom. Read my introduction for an explanation to that one. My mom jokingly said we were having a "baby shower" and stated that she would be presented with alcoholic gifts while I, "Slept and shit myself" in her words. haha. I told my girlfriend about that and she was on board with my mom and I said, "guess who volunteered for diaper duty!" She, like your husband doesn't know either and said, "I wouldn't care if you wore diapers, I'd still be interested in you." Now that probably sounds all good but it scared the heck out of me to hear that. I mean, I got super paranoid that somehow she knew! I still haven't confessed to her about it because I'm worried that she'll be freaked out. Or, that she'll want it to be "our thing," I usually do this in private by myself and the thought of someone joining in scares me.

  3. #3


    I've read many of your posts about your marriage situation and difficulties with your husband. I'm sorry that things are so hard for you; it is really great that you can share here, and I hope it helps you to feel less alone (you are not alone!).

    Obviously I only know of a tiny proportion of the comments & remarks that he has made, and don't know the details or tone, but from what I have heard it really does sound like he has diapers on his mind a lot: it does seem like an obsession. I'm not trying to suggest that in my (very uninformed) opinion it seems he is a DL, but he certainly has a very unusual preoccupation with diapers which could either be a repressed form of DLism (perhaps) or could be actual disgust/hatred. Many people who are not at peace with a part of themselves try to distance themselves from it by assuming the pretence that they hate that thing: it seems quite possible that he actually has a repressed interest in diapers, and it is coming out as disgust and hatred.
    I could also believe that he is purely disgusted and hateful, but his preoccupation with diaper-related topics and his quickness to turn things to them (either by shaming his ex at every possibly opportunity, or by suggesting you could wear them to draw less attention) does suggest that it is on his mind a lot, and when people hate things it tends to come out more in response to triggers than as ruminating hatred.

    I'm sorry: I fear I've not been very clear... The short version is that the only people I have encounterered who are as preoccupied with diapers as your husband is are AB/DL; he is either extremely hateful and obsessing about his disgust and hatred, or perhaps it is an avoidant and misdirected expression of repressed AB/DLism.

  4. #4


    I have to agree with Anxious. I pointed this out in a previous post on another thread when I confused his Daddy role with a AB role. But I still think there is a very high probability he is a closet DL.

  5. #5


    So I have a friend in real life who knows about the diapers... I didn't tell him, he figured it out. I was talking to him about this situation and the likeliness of him liking diapers in some respect. And the conclusion he came to is the same one I come to: it's irrelevant. To quote him... "It's like hoping that the fire and brimstone anti-gay preacher is... gay... it doesn't matter because he's still hurting people." And just like you can't confront a gay anti-gay preacher about being gay, you can't confront someone about being DL/AB/Daddy/etc. because it will just backfire.

    My opinion is still the same: the hubby is being an asshole and that's what's relevant.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by CycleChick View Post
    My opinion is still the same: the hubby is being an asshole and that's what's relevant.
    So True. I think you know what you need to do.

  7. #7


    Your husband must really hate people who wear diapers. I wonder what he thinks of people who have to wear them? Or does he only have a problem with people who like to wear them? What if an incontinent person liked wearing them?

    I wonder if he was hurt by his ex or something?

    Oh yeah my ex made the same mistake. I said in my diapermates profile I wanted a daddy and my ex read it and took it as something else, not AB dad. To people a daddy may be someone who prefers younger women and when someone says they want a daddy, they mean they want a older guy. A guy who is over ten years older than them. Or they may mean they want a guy who will take care of them and give them anything or make sure they are safe and in line and protected. But it was odd he misunderstood it because I mentioned the baby items in my profile I have and it was an AB/DL dating site so anyone who reads it would know I mean AB daddy because of what kind of site it is. I never said I was a mommy so why would I have baby items in the first place? He said I never said I used them so he took it all literal and didn't think I used them because I didn't mention I use them.

  8. #8


    I don't think she hurt him in any way as far as I can tell. They weren't particularly serious and he broke up with her as soon as she told him about being AB. And yes, he would judge someone who is IC. He has come to take great pleasure in judging others since we got married. :/

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by CycleChick View Post
    And yes, he would judge someone who is IC. He has come to take great pleasure in judging others since we got married. :/
    Ouch, :/ sounds like he is pretty out of line. It's one thing to judge somebody because of a lifestyle they have chosen/adopted, but to judge somebody for something that they have no control over is pretty ignorant. I honestly wouldn't stand for it, nobody is perfect, and his flaw seems to be his ego... What makes him better than the next guy on the street?

    Sorry, I know this is your husband, and I mean as little offence as possible. I guess this just struck a nerve. But obviously, something needs to be said.


  10. #10


    For those who believe in Karma,,,I think it might revisit him at some point with a vengeance. Or as the cliche' goes "give no mercy get no mercy". It's a bad view to have of other people.

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