Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: My mental health and where my life has led me to today

  1. #1

    Default My mental health and where my life has led me to today

    For me, the so-called, ‘terrible twos,’ didn’t start exactly at age two. It was more like age four I guess. But grade two, age seven, was when things really started to get bad. The vast majority of the notes my teacher wrote in my school planner were reports of bad behaviour in the classroom. I got tested that year, and was diagnosed with NLD (non-verbal learning disorder). By third grade things started to look up for me, but when I switched schools in sixth grade, it was like I was reverting to age four, behaviour-wise. I was always saying I hated school and wanted to quit. Then, in seventh grade, things turned ugly - apparently permanently. By ninth grade, age 14, which was the year I started high school, I often expressed a desire to drop out of school but was always told I was too young. The age when a student could legally drop out of school was 16 - until the year I turned 16, when the legal dropout age was raised to 18 (at which point there usually isn’t much of a point in dropping out because you should be really close to graduating anyway).

    From seventh grade onward my behaviour was gradually getting worse and worse and worse, until finally, when I was 18 years old and in my fourth year of high school, I got expelled. I had been diagnosed with high-functioning autism and Asperger syndrome only three months prior to my final infraction. That’s right - teachers and administrators literally NEVER had ANY IDEA what they were REALLY dealing with! It was like the administrative staff at my school said, ‘That’s it, you’re 18 years old now and you don’t legally have to be in school anymore - goodbye, you excessively defiant, unrestrained demon.’

    Then, three days after I got kicked out of school, my mother kicked me out of her apartment. I was taken by police cruiser to the ER, where I was put in a quiet room. My English teacher happened to be in the ER that day because her husband was sick, and when she heard me screaming she KNEW it was me, and came running. My parents had split when I was 15 but they were both in the ER with me. My English teacher had met my mother several times before, but my dad lives an hour away from where I used to live with my mother, so when he and my English teacher saw each other, in their heads, each one of them was probably asking the other who they were. I did identify my father to my teacher, though. I was handcuffed (with my hands in front of me, due to a lack of flexibility in my right arm that was caused by cerebral palsy), and when my teacher saw the handcuffs I think she felt sorry for me. I can be almost certain that when my teacher left the quiet room to check on her husband, she was thinking something along the lines of, ‘Great, now I have two people to worry about.’

    I do think that the vast majority of my problems could have been avoided had my parents given me up, PERMANENTLY, in July of 2003, when I was twelve, before things got totally out of hand. I think my mental health was greatly affected and influenced by all the crap I witnessed and/or was put through in my teen years, such as my parents fighting, unreasonable punishments dealt by my father, my parents splitting up (only AFTER I reported my father), etc. In real life a cop did say to me, ‘Your mother could have sent you to a foster home years ago,’ to which I replied by screaming, ‘WHY DIDN'T SHE?!’ I DEFINITELY think that if I had been put in a foster home at age twelve and was never under the care of either of my parents ever again, I could have grown up to be a calmer, more rational, more successful and less resentful person!

    However, when it all comes down to it, I think that whatever happened I would still have become an AB.

  2. #2

    Default

    I always entertained the idea of my life being quite interesting but damn dude, you should write a book! I have had some friends and acquaintances who have gone through the foster system and it is always hard to say whether it would have been better or not. A lot of foster homes are pretty bad too. I hope now that you are an adult things have gotten better for you.

    Even though I am more closely involved with the fetish side of being a DL, if I had never had that fetish I still really hope I would have gotten into the AB scene somehow. I think I would have been into it no matter what.

  3. #3

    Default

    Wow memorychick! That is quite an account. I cant' imagine how difficult things were for you growing up and also now having to sort through those feelings.

    I must say that another hurdle for you may be forgiveness. Forginveness to those who were in a position to help you but failed. They most likely failed because they didn't have the answers and didn't know what to do. They were naive and to no fault of their own. When I was in my first years of school I was quite a handful. My folks could have dealt with me in a much different way but "hard love" was all they knew and did thier best. While I'm alot more collected these days I don't feel that I would have turned out any different either way because my "core" person is still there and I still have the desire to grow as a person and feel that I still have alot to give and learn. I have forgiven my folks their mistakes and It has made me feel free to take over my own course in life. You may not get to that point for a long time but someday you may take a deep breath and realize it's o.k. You sound like you have already come a long way. Let your future define you and not the past. In the end we are who we become and usually have some amazing stories to tell. Your story may help someone younger some day who is going through similar rough roads.

    You also have a great sense of humor. Your, "goodbye, you excessively defiant, unrestrained demon" quote gave me quite a laugh!

    Enjoy every twist and turn in life and stay strong

  4. #4
    ihaveaspergers

    Default

    well often teachers even when they know you have autism, they still dont change much so with them not knowing,must have been bad.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ihaveaspergers View Post
    well often teachers even when they know you have autism, they still dont change much so with them not knowing,must have been bad.
    Well... how much should be changed for someone that has autism? It sucks to be autistic, but the whole world isn't going to change after school, and to some degree, autistic kids need to learn that the world won't change itself for them. Is it fair? Not really, but it's not "fair" to be stupid, but should we also make dumber students answer grade 2 math questions in grade 5 so they can achieve the same as their smarter peers? Lots of things in life aren't fair, and we're never going to level the playing field for everyone.

    People don't seem to get the the purpose of grade school isn't to teach you math and language arts and science. It's to teach you to integrate into society when you're old enough. Part of that is learning those skills previously mentioned, but a much greater deal is interpersonal skills. Learning to work with your peers, learning to follow authority figures, even learning to work with people you don't like. An autistic kid will have the added difficulties when it comes to socializing, but it's a part of life they need to learn. What use is getting good grades if you can't apply what you learn outside of school? Making a ton of allotments for autistic kids is a short-term solution in school that just covers up the problem for a few years. When they get out of school, employers aren't going to care that they are autistic. If they're more work to train and less productive than someone without autism, then why should the employer hire them? Sure, with a little extra help you might be just as productive as someone else, but that means that the non-autistic people are more qualified.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Zephy View Post
    Well... how much should be changed for someone that has autism? It sucks to be autistic, but the whole world isn't going to change after school, and to some degree, autistic kids need to learn that the world won't change itself for them. Is it fair? Not really, but it's not "fair" to be stupid, but should we also make dumber students answer grade 2 math questions in grade 5 so they can achieve the same as their smarter peers? Lots of things in life aren't fair, and we're never going to level the playing field for everyone.

    People don't seem to get the the purpose of grade school isn't to teach you math and language arts and science. It's to teach you to integrate into society when you're old enough. Part of that is learning those skills previously mentioned, but a much greater deal is interpersonal skills. Learning to work with your peers, learning to follow authority figures, even learning to work with people you don't like. An autistic kid will have the added difficulties when it comes to socializing, but it's a part of life they need to learn. What use is getting good grades if you can't apply what you learn outside of school? Making a ton of allotments for autistic kids is a short-term solution in school that just covers up the problem for a few years. When they get out of school, employers aren't going to care that they are autistic. If they're more work to train and less productive than someone without autism, then why should the employer hire them? Sure, with a little extra help you might be just as productive as someone else, but that means that the non-autistic people are more qualified.
    Fully agree with this. Anyways in this world and reality you pretty much have to help yourself and shouldn't count on anybody else. At the end of the day you can blame everything on everybody else, but to some extent everyone ends up in their situation by their own actions or lack of actions.

    Also stuff like this isn't what causes AB/DL for most, seems to be early onset for most people.

Similar Threads

  1. ABDLism and Mental Health
    By Angelbaby in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 28-Apr-2012, 04:24
  2. Are diapers a mental health necessity ?
    By maffew in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2010, 00:09
  3. Replies: 35
    Last Post: 27-Jun-2010, 03:57
  4. Prison and Mental Health Reform?
    By maccracker18 in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 27-Feb-2010, 02:44
  5. What did your mental health professional say?
    By Sparkz in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 09-May-2009, 18:58

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.