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Thread: Has ABDLism interfered with your sexuality?

  1. #1

    Default Has ABDLism interfered with your sexuality?

    Looking around at profiles on ADISC, I've noticed that a pretty large part of our community calls themselves asexual. Do you guys think that maybe this fetish/lifestyle has the potential to become a substitute for normal sexual relationships?

    From personal experience I can say that this probably applies to me. I definitely wasn't as interested in dating and sex while I was growing up because I had TBDLism as a sort of sexual outlet.

    Does anyone else feel the same way?

  2. #2

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    Yes! In fact, I talked to my ADISC friend about this the other day. I greatly believe that my asexualism is because of how prominent infantilism has always been in my life. Growing up, my only desire was to be babied. Instead of wishing for my Prince, planning my wedding, or naming my future kids, I instead fantasized about being babied. I wanted it so much all my life, that I guess it altered my need for dating and sex. Im not interested in sex at all, simply because it was never anything I really thought about. I would love to see how this happens, to tell you the truth, simply because it's so weird. I also noticed that most of those who are asexual on this site have similar stories, and are classified in the most extreme form of pure Infantilism (on an AB to DL scale)

    Its always good knowing I'm not the only one who's realized/experienced this c:

  3. #3

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    I would say yes it has. I dont consider myself asexual, but having another sexual outlet lessens the desire for a what you would call a normal sex life.

  4. #4

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    that's probably how it worked for me as well. i've never been interested in sex, but i can remember being really intrigued by girls when i was a kid. i guess it just never had a chance to develop into a sexual attraction because i was too busy being sexually attracted to diapers.

  5. #5

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    Yes, it has interfered for me, but not in the same way as it seems to for the rest of you (but I am DL, not AB, so perhaps this has more to do with where an individual is on the spectrum than anything else.)

    I would argue that being DL has increased my sex drive and overall sense of sexuality. Diapers for me are a purely sexual thing and the more I play with them, the more interested in sex I am in general. I would argue that I am a very sexual person - I have had a higher sex drive than every partner I've been with. Diapers do come first and foremost, but once I have had my "fix" I then become very interested in partnered, non-diaper (although definitely not vanilla) sex. I've also found that by learning to embrace my love of diapers and let go of the shame, it has given me greater acceptance of the other aspects of my sexuality. So as a whole, I think being DL makes me a more sexual person.

    It has, however, interfered in my sex life with my husband. He hates diapers and has made that very clear. He does not know I am DL, but he had a past girlfriend who was AB and the reason he wasn't okay with it was entirely because of the diapers, not the rest of it. Because I feel constantly judged by him for loving diapers and diapers are the most central aspect of my sexuality, it is impossible for me to have a sexual relationship with him. My love of diapers isn't something I can turn off. It's just like being female or being submissive. I can't turn those things off either. So knowing his disapproval of me being who I am makes it impossible for me to function sexually with him, even if I satisfy my own need for diapers and were to do other things with him.

  6. #6

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    I would say it interferes with me. I am predominantly DL and it does affect my bedroom. I love my wife and want children but have a hard time because procreation kind of needs stuff to be vanilla, ya know? My wife is okay with my ABDL.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by HokieABDL View Post
    procreation kind of needs stuff to be vanilla, ya know?
    LOL I don't think so! Want some ideas? I will PM you if you'd like!
    Last edited by Trevor; 01-Sep-2012 at 21:43. Reason: removing auto-merged duplicate post.

  8. #8
    Falkio

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    Quote Originally Posted by Volare View Post
    Looking around at profiles on ADISC, I've noticed that a pretty large part of our community calls themselves asexual. Do you guys think that maybe this fetish/lifestyle has the potential to become a substitute for normal sexual relationships? From personal experience I can say that this probably applies to me. I definitely wasn't as interested in dating and sex while I was growing up because I had TBDLism as a sort of sexual outlet. Does anyone else feel the same way?
    Absolutely.

    I feel the same way as Avery. Growing up, I never had a sexual attraction to women, and I always wondered why. I knew I liked diapers, but not the regular things everyone else did. I had one straight relationship (my first), and I didn't like it at all. I think that a diaper fetish somehow distorts one's sexuality. Not in all cases, but certainly sometimes.

    Another thing I noticed, is that having a diaper fetish may encourage homosexual relationships. Let me explain. Depending on the needs one is seeking to fill, it may be advantageous to lean towards gay in our community. The number of males in the ABDL community exceeds the number of females. Since their are a lot of things that are reserved for a partnership (the more extreme fetish stuff), being gay probably helps people get what they want. For example, their are more daddies than mommies. I know several people looking for moms, and they're very hard to find. If they were seeking a dad, the process would be much easier. That's not to say that you have to be in a relationship to do fetish stuff, but its probably way more comfortable. That's all.

    I truly love men, but in the process of trying to "figure things out", choosing the gay side of things certainly benefited me in the long run.

  9. #9

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    Although I don't consider myself to be asexual (mostly straight, but more like heteroflexible), my fetish has changed with the way I approach relationships (which is actually hard to properly determine, since I've 'been this way' years before I hit puberty, so all past relationships have had this 'Should I tell her?' tension). Currently, I'm pretty happy with my life as it is. I would like to share my life with a lovely girl someday, but I'd need someone open-minded enough to either accept my fetish or, preferrably, be willing to participate.

  10. #10

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    It hasn't effected my sexuality. I've never been (and still not) sexually attracted to people and this was long before I knew the term "Adult Baby." I have been curious about diapers and being a toddler again since I was 7, but not in a sexual way. Though it wasn't until recently that I started reflecting upon all this and declared myself as asexual.

    Being that sexual orientation isn't really a choice, I find it hard to wrap my mind around how ABDLism can effect sexuality (other than sex drive). Isn't that like saying "I started getting into BDSM and now I'm gay"? I think the real question is, has ABDLism helped you find your sexual orientation? I mean, does exploring fetishes, in a sense, help us figure out who we are?

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