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Thread: Please help me figure out my sexual orientation.

  1. #1

    Default Please help me figure out my sexual orientation.

    I personally am still unsure of my sexual orientation, though I claim to be straight, but still don't have a sexual desire for women-- I don't know what it is like to have that sexual desire for them, and I wish that someone that knows "for sure" that they are straight and "have this desire" could ask me a few questions to help me determine my sexual orientation, like "Do you feel this when this happens" kind of material, I just literally need good questions asked, not like, "do you get a rise out of porn" (and maybe that is a good question), but I know straight guys that don't, so then again maybe it is not.

    The basic is that I find it utterly discusting for two guys to be gay together, (though I understand it-- if that's how they're born, those are their feelings they cannot change), but I don't feel this "attraction" to either sex, and I don't want to call myself an Asexual..... I want to be straight.

    I will be glad to hear any questions or comments about this, though I truely only want to hear from people that:
    1. Will ask me questions about this, and help me through it.
    2. Have the same EXACT situation, not something close, so they can relate-- and they have thought out "this."

    I ask for these 2 criteria, because it seems whenever I try to start a topic about myself, it gets kind of off topic with people talking about themselves instead, I'd just like to try and keep this topic "on topic" to my case if possible. Sorry if that's too much to ask, but I would appreciate it.

  2. #2
    maddi

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    Well... might I suggest that you go to your doctor and have a conversation about hormones? (I'm serious...) There could be something physiological going on. I have had periods in my life where my libido drops to zero... combination of pure exhaustion and hormonal imbalance.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by the-ownage View Post
    ... and I wish that someone that knows "for sure" that they are straight and "have this desire" could ask me a few questions to help me determine my sexual orientation, like "Do you feel this when this happens" kind of material ...

    ...
    I will be glad to hear any questions or comments about this, though I truely only want to hear from people that:
    1. Will ask me questions about this, and help me through it.
    2. Have the same EXACT situation, not something close, so they can relate-- and they have thought out "this." ...
    I think you kind of contradicted yourself in your request for the type of people you would like to reply. Being of the former type I will respond as such.

    I am striaght, I know I am, and I would bet everything I currently own and will ever own that I will be for the rest of my life. Now, I don't get a rise out of porn myself, if that makes you feel any better, but I do find myself attracted to girls out in RL, if that makes any sense. For example, If I'm out at the store and a cute girl walks by I sometimes get a little nervous but I also check her out a bit. I have been in a few relationships before, so sometimes I think what it would be like to be making out with the girl (usually only if its not the first time I've seen her, If I know her, or If she is exceedingly cute/attractive).
    I am also a bit shy in public, especially with people I dont know, but if an attractive girl is involved then I am really really hesitant (almost instinctually) to approach her or induce conversation, and I also become very very self concious. I'm trying to overcome this, but it is a proccess.
    Now I know a lot of straight guys who have no trouble whatsoever in approaching and courting attractive girls so that just goes to show that there is more than one type of "straight guy."

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by the-ownage View Post
    ...I don't feel this "attraction" to either sex, and I don't want to call myself an Asexual..... I want to be straight.
    It is possible to be straight and asexual. I suggest that you visit this site: Asexual Visibility and Education Network - Home It might be able to answer some of your questions.

  5. #5

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    You should find out yourself...You may not know now, but you'll find out on your own in time

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by deependh200 View Post
    I think you kind of contradicted yourself in your request for the type of people you would like to reply.
    Good eye, my bad, I meant to type "either" before the 1. and 2., so "either one" would work for people to reply. Sorry if I confused anyone.

  7. #7

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    Presumably, you are not gay at all, as you have already said.
    You are attracted to women, just not sexually correct?
    Do you ever think of yourself and a girl hanging out, doing things, although not necessarily sexin?

    I personally, am attracted to girls, but I don't even know if I want sex. I play like I do, which isn't working well for getting me any girls. I always figured sex would be good, because even if you don't have a desire for it, it will still feel good.

    Have you ever thought about that, the it is irrelevant if you want it or not, when you do it, it will be good?

    I recently talked to a girl, that almost seemed to imply she liked me a LOT and wanted to have sex with me, this, turned me on a great deal and all I thought about for about 3 days was having sex with her.

    That was leading up to this next question, any other similar experiences from you?

    I probably talked more about me than I did about you, so I apologize, but it is a habit of mine that I fought, and I seemed to do OK.

    The recommended path is a psychologist, preferably a younger one, to get this resolved faster than we can, however, we are cheaper.

  8. #8

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    I was not really atracted to sex, when I was younger, I couldn't care less if someone had sex includeing me.

    and you could be haveing the same feelings, watch some porn see which one you prefer, you have a long way to go at 20 don't be in such a hurry.

    I had sex for the first time in my late 20's.

  9. #9

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    I would ask, assuming you masturbate, who do you fantisize about while doing this? In high school, I was having sex with my girlfriend. In college I was having sex with my room mate. So I have tried both and done it often. Neither were my real attraction. There are other attractions and alternatives, but one has to be careful where they let their mind travel. Obviously for many of the members here, diapers and infantilism rule, and that is one alternative. I think deep in your heart you know what turns you on. As for me, I liked the sex with males, but not as an intimate relation, and so I'm not attracted to men. I am attracted to some woman, but it's not overwhelming. You would be surprised how many men there are who are not overwhelming attracted to woman. One can be easily deceived by the television perseption that we are all supposed to buy into. But much of it is just t.v. hype. Don't be hard on yourself if you're not gung ho over the opposite sex. As a species, we are complicated, and don't fit easily into the box that commercial society would like to force us into.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Alex View Post
    You are attracted to women, just not sexually correct?
    That is the question I'm trying to figure out. I want to know if what I feel is any different than a straight male individual. I can say I find women are more "pretty" than men, because I don't even think about how a guy looks, and could care less how he looks. Women also spend more time in front of the mirror, perfecting their image, so it's hard to say that even if I did try to compare "which sex" I am attracted to, and came to a conclusion (which I said is women), I still don't think that it is a sexual attraction, being I can't remember one time in my life that I've been aroused by a women, and yes I've seen a lot of hot girls, I'm going to college for God's sakes, just I don't know what it's like to sexually be attracted to them.





    Quote Originally Posted by ballucanb View Post
    I was not really atracted to sex, when I was younger, I couldn't care less if someone had sex includeing me.

    and you could be haveing the same feelings, watch some porn see which one you prefer, you have a long way to go at 20 don't be in such a hurry.
    Well, I already told you what I believe about why "porn" isn't going to solve anything here, and so did Mr. Alex, but maybe you didn't read that. By the age of 20, most professionals would say that a person should know their sexual orientation without any trouble. Thanks.





    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I would ask, assuming you masturbate, who do you fantisize about while doing this?
    No one-- but does that make me an Asexual? I don't fantasize about anything to get hard-- though the easiest thing in my mind to be able to get hard, is DLism.

    I think what you said was real wise, dogboy. I agree that perhaps our society's sexual classifications are dull. I just don't know what I'm going to do about life though.

    I want to get married, and have kids, and some of you might say that "not having" a sexual attraction to your wife doesn't stop you from doing that, but will that work out in the long run? That's the big question.




    Quote Originally Posted by Ranger View Post
    It is possible to be straight and asexual. I suggest that you visit this site: Asexual Visibility and Education Network - Home It might be able to answer some of your questions.
    I see that, nice information btw, forgot to mention earlier. One part explains: "Just as people will rarely and unexpectedly go from being straight to gay, asexual people will rarely and unexpectedly become sexual or vice versa." This is partly why I want to figure out what I am classified as, but it's kind of hard.


    -----

    I have another question..

    Do you gain sexual attraction to a women after you've had sex the first time? Right now I'm a virgin, and I'm hoping for this. I'm literally praying to God to be able to be sexually attracted to women in the future.
    Last edited by Boyhood; 25-Oct-2008 at 04:15.

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