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Thread: Having a partner vs diapers.

  1. #1

    Default Having a partner vs diapers.

    Hi All-
    I'm right now with odds with myself about coming out. Being gay, that is. I'm fairly sure about my sexuality,but not completely sure. My point is that whatever decision I choose, my plans are to give up the diapers.

    I've gone through the binge/purge cycle so many times now, it's tough to remember how many times. I've gotten rid of all my AB/DL clothing, and have reduced my diaper time to weekends and buying an occasional bag. I haven't had a case of diapers or a closet full in quite sometime now.
    Mom knows about my potentially being gay, and was ok with the diapers as well. I told her awhile ago I kicked the habit, and did for awhile, but started up again with moderation. That's when the last (most successful) purge was.

    My question is this. How many out there have managed to give up their love of diapers in exchange for the love of a partner.

  2. #2


    Seeing as we're a support site for ABDLs, if there are any who give it up for good, we're not likely to hear from them. We do hear from people who stop for periods of time for a variety of reasons but it comes back around again. If you really think it's important, I'll wish you luck. I'd suggest that you inform any partner at some point (not first date chat) that it's something you're working on, sort of like (from your apparent perspective) being a recovering alcoholic.

    Personally, I would put that energy into self-acceptance, integration into your life, and finding someone who can understand that this isn't such a big thing.

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Seeing as we're a support site for ABDLs, if there are any who give it up for good, we're not likely to hear from them. We do hear from people who stop for periods of time for a variety of reasons but it comes back around again.
    Hi Trevor-
    I'd thought about that, but was being hopeful that someone that did give up diapers might be a lurker or an occasional poster. Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. I really love this site and all that contribute to it, all in all a great bunch of people.
    Last edited by Trevor; 19-Aug-2012 at 17:51. Reason: removing auto-merged duplicate post.

  4. #4


    Why not have both? Lots of people manage with a significant other while keeping the diapers.. I told my fiance on our forth date and she never ran away

  5. #5


    If I really think about this, I think ultimately I wouldn't be able to give it up... I can suppress it for a while, but it would come back.

    In addition, I would simply not want to be in a relationship in which my partner would not accept me. This is the way I am, this is something I do. She doesn't have to be part of it, and I would do a lot to keep her out of it if she so wishes, but if the only option is for me to "give it up" I would not do it. It would simply also mean she is not the right one for me anyway!

    Note; my partner is fully accepting and as said above, I mentioned this relatively early on. She accepts it, and we talk about it freely, but she doesn't partake in it.

  6. #6


    There is such a thing as a successful purge? Sorry, i probably shouldn't respond with skepticism, but that was the first thought i had when i read the beginning post. With regards to that though, in my opinion purging isn't the answer to getting out of being AB/DL if there is such a way. If you do really want out, i'd suggest finding something to fill the gap you are about to make and then transition over, otherwise i'm betting that it is going to come back to haunt you.
    However i'm not being helpful to your plight, so i'm sorry, just saying my opinion as it has been developed over the time of my own binge/purge cycles.
    As for those who have overcome it, well like trevor said, they probably aren't here if there is any. Reason being, once the desire were to be gone from them, they probably wouldn't feel like coming back to this web site because they don't want anything to remind them of AB/DL'sm. If they are still here then they probably have a specific motive to help others escape, in which case they are probably planning to go into social work for a career or something, which doesn't really mean anything, but i thought i would say it.
    In my opinion, the sign that you are still on here means that you still want to be a part of this community. If not then you would probably be associating with another community asking for their help to keep your mind off of your fetish that you are recovering from. BTW, not trying to tell you to leave the community, just being a realist. Your welcome here anytime you want, not that i have anything to say about it anyway.

  7. #7


    You might be able to give up diapers, but you will never truly change. Sorry if it sounds blunt but, if you are with a person and you hide it from them, then that will put a terrible strain on your relationship. If I were you, I would give it a break for a bit, and if feelings come back, don't keep them inside. It will be hurtful to you.

  8. #8


    Wow! You're 43 and you aren't sure of your sexuality?

    Forget about giving up diapers...find out who YOU are first! Once you've done that, everything else will become so much easier.

    Honestly, giving up a part of you for a potential partner (I'm presuming is non-existent at this time) seems a bit, well, over-the-top! Lots of people have loving relationships with a significant other, and still maintain their AB/DL self, as well. The 'trick', if there is one, is to find someone who accepts all of you...not just bits and pieces.

  9. #9


    You shouldnt have to give up who you are for someone.
    Iv recelntly found out my partners a D/L and im fine with it. I wouldnt make him change anything about himself for me, and he shouldnt have to.
    My partner was never going to tell anyone about his "Kink" but since he has his been so much more relaxed and open. Its taken our relationship to a whole nother lever. Theres no secrets anymore. No more tention when i ask him a question like whats ur fetish as theres nothing to hide.

    If you find someone you love and they love you this should not matter whether they choose to participate or not.

  10. #10


    You don't need to give up diapers for an SO. Many guys are fine with it at least that has been my experience. I have never met a guy who had an issue with it. My bf actually finds it cute and was eager to bring it into the bedroom.

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