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Thread: How to come out

  1. #1

    Question How to come out

    Hi adisc,

    I've been thinking about "coming out" as a DL, and I thought it could be nice to have a thread, or better, an article about how to be yourself with regards to being AB/DL. IF this thread goes well, it would be helpful to have it converted into an article.

    I'll explain more how I mean "be yourself". I think there are many steps into "coming out", more so than coming out as gay for example, as this is something the majority of people know nothing about; and even googling can come up with strange results, if you do not know the keywords.

    For coming out, I see there being three main steps:
    • The first step is acknowledgement of yourself. I like diapers. There, I said it.
    • Then there's a second step... binge/purge... The acceptance step maybe?
    • Then there's a third, coming out...

    Feel free to correct that if you wish..

    The question I have is, how can you "come out" totally?
    I do not mean "wear diapers all the time", but more "I wear diapers when I want, some people noticed and those that do I explain, and I'm cool with it".

    I really want to come out as DL, but I feel no reason to tell people. I want to just wear and not have to explain myself. I could also do with some answers to common questions.

    How do you see the path to coming out as AB/DL?
    What answers would you have about how to come out?
    How do you "explain yourself" without sounding like a creep?

    abdlf xx

  2. #2


    The reason there is no such article is because it's really not a very good idea to "come out" about it. Why do you want the world to know your kink?

  3. #3


    I find your reply not very helpful.

    For me, being a DL is not just a kink. It's a way of life, and is part of my true identity. And it's something I've been hiding because of opinions like yours.

  4. #4


    Even though it is a Kink, it is part of who you are. Not saying you should go on loudspeaker or anything, just if someone asks, or if someone finds out, admit it with a smile! Be happy you are unique. Be happy you belong to a group of, in my opinion, some very tolerant, smart, kind, interesting, and funny people! Just be who you feel you are, embrace every little ounce of yourself, because no one here is truly weird. The people not accepting each other are weird.

  5. #5


    Man, you really don't should do it. This can fuck your life, and it's the not kind of thing that you can go back.. One time you say, is said. You can't back in time, and thing like "Liking diapers", can close many doors in your life.. And I talk in all the senses, like in your professional life, your personal life... There are many consequences.

  6. #6


    Like any other fetish, you shouldn't go around saying "guess what guys? Diapers turn me on!"

    If it comes up in casual conversation, just admit to it like it's no big deal, because as much as we like to believe it is something different or special, it really isn't. It's just another kink/lifestyle.

    If your friend says "oh my god, are you wearing a diaper?" just reply with "yeah, I like to wear them, it's even a bit of a kink"

    You don't need to prance down the street and tell everybody that you just wet your diaper, nobody cares and nobody wants to hear it.

  7. #7


    I agree that the DL lifestyle is not a very good thing to be open to people about, because it is mostly geared as a kink. However you might get away with being a little open about an AB side if you are into that thing too. Mostly with small things though like having plushies, and bringing them with you to places. Not much more than that though.

  8. #8


    I have to agree with the responses so far.

    To "come out" about this stuff is to involve other people in your diaper-wearing. Why should they be involved? What are you hoping to get from them? How should they treat you differently? Realize that, from the standpoint of those you would be coming out to, being "out" is a means to some end, not an end unto itself. They'll wonder, "Ok, now what?" If the answer is truly "nothing," then the best way to convey that is by not telling them in the first place. If they happen to discover it and ask, then you can safely assume they're willing to shoulder the burden of knowing, and they can safely assume that you expect no involvement from them.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by abdlf View Post
    I find your reply not very helpful.

    For me, being a DL is not just a kink. It's a way of life, and is part of my true identity. And it's something I've been hiding because of opinions like yours.
    The problem is, that it is a fringe like kink, and as most of the general population do not share it with us, they are going to make arbitrary judgements based on ignorance of the facts. If you come out as a DL, i.e. you tell lots of people that you are sexually aroused by wearing diapers, and using them too (if that's your thing). It will likely have a very negative effect on your life. You could loose friends and almost certainly face ridicule, although I'm not saying that those outcomes are certain. Also you have to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Imagine if it was you, and they were explaining to you that they were into scat or hardcore bondage, wouldn't you feel pretty strange? Another point I need to make out is that what people do in their own homes; indulge fetishes, have sex etc, is generally private and is not something you talk about in detail, it's just a common courtesy. However at the end of the day, it is down to you to make that decision to come out, if you go through with it, I wish you the best of luck, if not, then I wish you well all the same.
    Last edited by SterlingArcher; 19-Aug-2012 at 09:53. Reason: double post

  10. #10

    Default How to come out

    Between your ears! Did you hear me? Keep your extremely unusual fascination with diapers confined to that space between your ears and it will never be able to cause you problems in your daily life. If you insist on making this issue public you must prepare yourself for other people's opinion of your diaper fascination. They don't get it! They will always think it's weird.

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