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Thread: Fetish vs lifestyle

  1. #1

    Angry Fetish vs lifestyle



    OK I getting really ticked off how many people just put this in to a fetish, this is just wrong so I want to past my view on the mater.

    You can't say ABTBDL is a sexual fetish this is just wrong, it as sexual connections yes almost EVER lifestyle does.

    But lets look at a few things below:

    Gothic Lifestyle - now this as many sexual parts to it as well as the none sexual parts but people don't go around saying a Goth is just a kink.

    Emo - once again as sexual parts to it but people don't say its just a kink.

    'Normal' - Well what society that month thinks is normal - every sexual and that's not just a kink.

    So why in the 'jelly fish' is been a Teen, Adult, Diaper or Nappy lover any different? well its not this is for many of us a LIFE STYLE.

    No wonder many people are getting depressed in the scene and keep questioning there self because people just keep linking it to something seedy and wrong, and sorry but the evidence is plastered all over the web including this site so many of you are so open to just call it as a fetish, but if you ask the long term users and people that have lived with this all there life its whom they are not a sexual fetish that just comes out on a lucky night.

    I am sick of seeing this now, this is why I have started IC(The Inner Child) to try and remove the sexual stuff from the lifestyle, not from the bedroom just the lifestyle its self just like Emo, Goth, Chav, Wood cutter and so on.

    I also like to state that people on the out side world DON'T accept us for whom we are, only close friends and family might accept us but they wont really want to know about it and if we do find a few that will understand its rare, NEVER let your guard down or you will mostly get hurt, believe me I know this for the past with myself and friends in this scene.

  2. #2

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    People who can say they live an ABDL lifestyle are a small minority of all ABDL. If you have to start planning to acomadate diapers into your everyday activities beyond setting aside private time then it might be justified. But for most of us it's a fetish/kink or maybe a hobby. When you start throwing the word lifestyle around you get into things that people define thier identities by. And wearing diapers for fun is not something many people take seriously about to make a statment like that.

  3. #3

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    Sorry but this is classified as a fetish when you look up fetishes. Also this is a fetish for lot of people because it turns them on and they find it sexual. Also people need to get rid of the stigma about the word fetish and start to embrace it and accept. Not accepting it is implying fetish is a bad thing. It's not.


    People can call this their hobby or lifestyle or kink or fetish. I call it my kink, fetish, and lifestyle.

  4. #4
    LittleDrummerGirl

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    For some people, parts of it, or *B/DLism as a whole, is a fetish. I'm one of those... Any kind of wetting turns me on more than just about anything I can think of... It's actually quite a burden at times.

  5. #5

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    I don't think this is about having a problem with the word fetish.

    I think it's about people assuming it's a fetish for everyone who does it.

    It is for some, it isn't for others.

  6. #6
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by princessnarnar View Post
    I don't think this is about having a problem with the word fetish.

    I think it's about people assuming it's a fetish for everyone who does it.

    It is for some, it isn't for others.

    ^This. I think its just the fact that some people automatically classify it as a fetish, it is bound to make some people uncomfortable, like myself for instance, for me its 10% sexual 90% lifestyle, because Im only human :P seeing girls in diapers does switch me on lol But on a day to day basis I love being a baby and seeing baby things and looking at different people wearing cute diapers or baby clothes, so for me its more lifestyle, and when people automatically think im trying to involve them in my sex life just because im trying to explain my "lifestyle", it can get a bit discomforting, I try to explain to my friends that i tell them not because I want to involve them in my sexual details, but because I want to be able to be myself around them with no problem.

    Almost all my friends accept this part of me and see that its more lifestyle than sexual, but i have 1 or 2 friends that wont be bothered to believe that it is anything other than a sexual fetish, and that saddens me

    Also, if you look up info on ABDLism or Paraphilic Infantilism, you will see that this "fetish" is the only fetish that doesnt HAVE to be sexual.

  7. #7

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    Fetishes don't have to be sexual. Having a sexual fetish is okay, if it's you. If it's all about the inner child and you don't see it as a fetish, then for you that's how it is.
    All we have to agree on is a few rules when we're playing to respect each others feeling and headspace cos we're all different really and no one definition of anything connected with ageplay will work for all of us.
    Last edited by JoanneChan; 17-Aug-2012 at 20:38.

  8. #8

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    I can understand where you're coming from on this. I'd don't like having the 'fetish' label applied to my little side because, by the common understanding of the word, I don't think it is. It's a part of my personality and you could indeed go so far to call it a lifestyle.

    ABDL can mean different things to different people so you're never going to find a label that encompasses the entire thing (except maybe 'thing'). To me it's a part of my personality, to other ABDLs it might be a kink or fetish and to others it might be something else entirely. All of these are fine, but unfortunately some will have more negative connotations than others when encountered by 'outsiders'.

    The best thing you can do if you're tired of misconceptions is just be yourself on sites like adisc. Most people will immediately go to Google when hearing of something new - if they find this site or ones like it then hopefully they'll get a balanced view of what being an ABDL really means.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by princessnarnar View Post
    I don't think this is about having a problem with the word fetish.

    I think it's about people assuming it's a fetish for everyone who does it.

    It is for some, it isn't for others.




    Quote Originally Posted by 1ObsoleteBaby View Post
    ^This. I think its just the fact that some people automatically classify it as a fetish, it is bound to make some people uncomfortable, like myself for instance, for me its 10% sexual 90% lifestyle, because Im only human :P seeing girls in diapers does switch me on lol But on a day to day basis I love being a baby and seeing baby things and looking at different people wearing cute diapers or baby clothes, so for me its more lifestyle, and when people automatically think im trying to involve them in my sex life just because im trying to explain my "lifestyle", it can get a bit discomforting, I try to explain to my friends that i tell them not because I want to involve them in my sexual details, but because I want to be able to be myself around them with no problem.

    Almost all my friends accept this part of me and see that its more lifestyle than sexual, but i have 1 or 2 friends that wont be bothered to believe that it is anything other than a sexual fetish, and that saddens me

    Also, if you look up info on ABDLism or Paraphilic Infantilism, you will see that this "fetish" is the only fetish that doesnt HAVE to be sexual.



    Quote Originally Posted by cgh View Post
    I can understand where you're coming from on this. I'd don't like having the 'fetish' label applied to my little side because, by the common understanding of the word, I don't think it is. It's a part of my personality and you could indeed go so far to call it a lifestyle.

    ABDL can mean different things to different people so you're never going to find a label that encompasses the entire thing (except maybe 'thing'). To me it's a part of my personality, to other ABDLs it might be a kink or fetish and to others it might be something else entirely. All of these are fine, but unfortunately some will have more negative connotations than others when encountered by 'outsiders'.

    The best thing you can do if you're tired of misconceptions is just be yourself on sites like adisc. Most people will immediately go to Google when hearing of something new - if they find this site or ones like it then hopefully they'll get a balanced view of what being an ABDL really means.
    I think these 3 reply's have more or less understood what my rant was all about, thanks for understanding, I was in a bad mood when I posted it so I am sorry if it came across pushy or rude not what I was aiming for, but this to me is not a fetish, yes I have a sexual side in this world but the meaning of fetish to me is all 3 points of the meaning not lets sub-cat it and still put fetish in to that, or every hobby we have is a fetish and this is not true, but many people just classing this as a fetish and they don't mean something people enjoy they do mean sexual fetish.

    To me its part of whom I am its not everyday and its not something I want to be everyday but to me its part of my hole lifestyle so to me its a lifestyle chose, not a hobby as I can drop hobbies even tho I liked them and NEVER return to them.

    I don't disagree with other peoples saying theirs is a fetish that is fine, I know many people that only have a fetish side of this and that is OK with me but then you are just a sub-cat of ABDL like Diaper/Nappy lover if you just find a diaper sexual, Or if you a sexual AB then you would have a age play fetish your not really a adult baby as the define of baby is not sexual its been cared for, well that's how I see it anyway.

    Hugs, thanks for the reply's anyway and I hope I see more.

  10. #10

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    I have to jump in here and say that i dont like it when people call what i do a fetish, but that is mostly because of the connotations with the word "fetish." Now some of you may grab your dictionaries, dsm4, wikipedia, and look up fetish and declare that this thing i do is classified as a fetish, but it's the way society USES the word fetish that makes it dirty, cheap, and not something i want to associate with. Fetish sounds like a cheap thrill, getting your rocks off, etc. This for me has sexual components, but it is mostly just nice to "be myself." I have had these desires since i was a toddler, and I see it as permanent, and it's not enough to just wear a diaper, i want to be treated as a 2 year old, and i want to regress, drool, roll around, hug my stuffies, etc. As long as you are aware of how deep this runs for me, you can call it what you like. Personally, i like the word lifestyle.

    Btw, for those of you who think that they are "mild" fetishists who just dabble occasionally, keep in mind that this thing escalates over time. When i was a teen, and in my 20's, wearing a diaper once a month and masturbating was enough. Now, I am in full exploration mode... i have a crib, I build cribs for people, and I am building a network of people who will accept me for who I am. When you spend 40 years with these desires, you start to ask the bigger questions. Not that I will ever walk around in a onsie in public, but I am fully freefalling down the rabbit hole, and I'm sure many of you will eventually as well. If you told me when I was 20 that someday I would have an AB nursery, I would not have believed you, but now I take pride in it, and I take pride in my sensitivity, my vulnerability, and my playfulness

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