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Thread: problem as a girlfriend

  1. #1

    Default problem as a girlfriend

    my boyfriend is an AB, and when he told me about it I was ok with it although I thought it was a bit weird. After a while I agreed to do play along with it and treat baby him to see if I'd get used to it. It's been a month and I can see how happy it makes him, but it's too weird to have sex with him when I see him acting like this. He's said that he'll give it up if I want him too, but he looks really unhappy when he says and I know how it makes him feel. Is there any way for me to get rid of my feelings so we can both be happy?

  2. #2

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    I can understand why that experience would still weird you out. I guess there are a few things to say.
    First, him being a little doesn't have to always be about sex, often for most of us it is a way to de-stress, and to let a very real personality that your boyfriend has controll over, but may more or less understand its depth of existence, surface to be able to express itself. When he says that he will give it up, I am sure he honestly intends to be capable of doing so, but the likelihood of him being able to do it is not high. Imagine how you would feel if your personality was destined to stay trapped and un-expressed, it would be beyond hard.
    Now just because he has the personality of a baby inside him, doesn't mean there is no adult in him. Being able to let the baby feel free, allows his adult side to gain back some controll in his life, as his inner child has stopped needing to nagg him for attention(figuratively). You have notice that he has been much happier as you have let him express himself, cuddos to you for being so awesome. Now you need to make some agreements with him that you get to have his adult around every so often too. You can always just have sex with him as he is an adult, but remember that sometimes having sex with him as he is his little self will be good for him, since his adult self still has bleed-over into his little personality, which is unavoidable, and will also help him feel like you have accepted his little side. Him knowing that you like, and not just tolerate, his little side will make your relationship so much better. This all likely started for him way befor puberty and then when puberty hit, it naturally became sexual, just remember that if you engage him sexually when he is a little, that it is really the adult you are still interacting with, this will not make either of you turn into pedo's.
    If I were you, I would read a book that explains all of this in great detail, called "there's a baby in my bed" available on amazon. Im almost done with reading it, and it made me understand myself so much better.

  3. #3

    Default problem as a girlfriend

    My wife felt the exact same way as you when I first told her, but now for the most part, she's ok with it. He shouldn't have to give it up, but you shouldn't feel forced into role play either. You both need to compromise and find a happy medium. I can give you my wife's email if you would like to chat about it, she may be able to give you some tips that might help!

  4. #4

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    I'm not going to mince words with you. Let him know about this and then try to brainstorm a decisions together. As a previous poster said, have sex with him when hes not acting like a baby if it makes you feel uncomfortable (it's okay that would make anyone uncomfortable). I think this might work but it would have downsides too. Anyway my point being talk to him and do what makes you feel comfortable you don't even have to partake in his fetish the simple knowledge that you accept this part of him should be enough.

    Well that's my two-cents for this thread.

    - Chance

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chance View Post
    I'm not going to mince words with you. Let him know about this and then try to brainstorm a decisions together. As a previous poster said, have sex with him when hes not acting like a baby if it makes you feel uncomfortable (it's okay that would make anyone uncomfortable). I think this might work but it would have downsides too. Anyway my point being talk to him and do what makes you feel comfortable you don't even have to partake in his fetish the simple knowledge that you accept this part of him should be enough.

    Well that's my two-cents for this thread.

    - Chance
    I agree with this completely I am AB and while I enjoy great sex in adult mode. My wife accepts I have a baby side and that is me on my own she does not get involved with it and I wouldn't ask her too. I would say though that i would accept gladly if she offered but no happy enough on my own. The most my wife does is sign for packages arriving by post for me. Never asked what these are as long as I don't let baby me take over completely I am ok.. best of luck you should find a way through just talk and voice your feelings and let him know how far you are prepared to go or not go. Good luck
    Last edited by baby2birl; 16-Aug-2012 at 23:31. Reason: removed double post

  6. #6

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    I agree with what has been said above. For me it is the same. My girlfriend is okay with me wearing them, seeing them, but it is very much part of my life and not hers. Of course in a way I would love her to be more involved, change me, wear them herself and share these DL-feelings, but that simply isn't the case and I want to in no way make her feel obliged to do so.

    So I keep my DL very separate and it is in no way part of our sex-life. It is not a matter of me "giving it up", because I can still have DL as part of my lifestyle, but I do keep it at bay it won't seep into our love-life in any way, and so for both of us it is a matter of dealing with it. So I wouldn't ask him to give it up if the both of you would be fine with it being his thing that you know of, and tolerate, but are no part of.

    Edit: and just to add, there is so much more than the DL in a relationship, so don't let it rule your relationship. Giving up might be too much to ask, but when you are in a good relationship, you love almost everything about each other, and you tolerate the rest I know it is a big, and probably not very common thing though.
    Last edited by NicoD; 17-Aug-2012 at 02:37. Reason: forgot some...

  7. #7
    TheSpecterPrincess

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    Quote Originally Posted by didee2 View Post
    my boyfriend is an AB, and when he told me about it I was ok with it although I thought it was a bit weird. After a while I agreed to do play along with it and treat baby him to see if I'd get used to it. It's been a month and I can see how happy it makes him, but it's too weird to have sex with him when I see him acting like this. He's said that he'll give it up if I want him too, but he looks really unhappy when he says and I know how it makes him feel. Is there any way for me to get rid of my feelings so we can both be happy?

    1. Don't change your feelings only to make others happy, because you're entitled to your own opinion.

    2.Don't make him give it up. If you love him for who he is, you'll accept this side of him. Also, he's an adult and his opinion matters just as much as yours does.

    How about this. Have sex first (without the diapers) and then afterward when you're both naked and stuff volunteer to diaper him and baby him. If you decide to have sex a second time just slowly re adjust back over into adult mode, disrobe of diaper, repeat process, re-diaper him, go to sleep. This could be a way to still keep it very adult, and it will allow you to work your way into it instead of jumping straight from the role play into sex.

    Oh, and another thing. You should confront yourself one day and ask yourself why you think it's weird. Is it because it's just something you've never seen before ? Does it scare you ? Do you have the potential to enjoy doing it if you were the baby ? The more we ask ourselves questions, the more answers we have to support why we do or don't do the various things in our life.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpecterPrincess View Post

    Oh, and another thing. You should confront yourself one day and ask yourself why you think it's weird. Is it because it's just something you've never seen before ? Does it scare you ? Do you have the potential to enjoy doing it if you were the baby ? The more we ask ourselves questions, the more answers we have to support why we do or don't do the various things in our life.
    I agree, even though I am coming from an AB point of view, and we aren't saying that you shouldn't be weirded out, but it is worth asking some questions to yourself. Such as 'why is wanting to revert back to babyhood weird? Well my answer for that in my own mind would be, because I was taught that we are supposed to grow up and mature, because adults don't wear diapers, and watch children's movies, and play with blocks and such. To me that just sounds like a band wagon statement, where everyone jumps off the cliff because bob said it was cool. If you actually observe culture you will see more people actually have a small desire to be "little". How many times have you heard things like, "dang, kids have it so easy" or "geeze, that baby has it great, all he has to do is eat, sleep, and poop." also the increase of love for kids movies, like productions from pixar, or shows like phineas and Ferb that get followings from average people. My feelings on the question about why ab/dl'sm is weird is because popularity made it so, not actual logic. Infantilism doesn't hurt anybody, including self, and if kept under controll can be a heathy means to remove stress. In my opinion, being able to accept ones individuality is a true sign of maturity, rather than trying to live a dream lifestyle that tv depicts.
    And after all that said, I'm not saying that you should participate in his fantasy, but I do think if you start asking the right questions, you will be able to see why it isn't really that weird that this kind of emotion would build up in a person, just ask yourself this question, "why would my boyfriend want to live the lifestyle of a child/toddler/baby, or even, why would I?" I think you will come to see why it is nice to have a place to escape the world.

  9. #9

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    It is probably not very healthy emotionally or sexually, if "baby" wants to have sex with "mommy". Not a good idea at all.

    If he has a DL side to him, then thats where sexual excitement can be played. But I think as long as he is in baby mode, its best to keep anything sexual, including making out out of the picture. If he has a switch that is turned on when he is diapered, and pretty much becomes "baby" really quick, then being diapered while being intimate is not the answer.

  10. #10
    TheSpecterPrincess

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    Quote Originally Posted by DONeill73 View Post
    It is probably not very healthy emotionally or sexually, if "baby" wants to have sex with "mommy". Not a good idea at all.
    Maybe not right off the bat when you're trying to introduce somebody new, but honestly I don't really see a problem with it. It's basically just a game of pretend. It's not like it has anything to do with incest or real children. Just two adults playing pretend. That's all it is.

    And Tyger, you get +1 Rep points for having a really insightful post.

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