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Thread: The Ultimate Guide to Buying in Public (this one's short!)

  1. #1

    Default The Ultimate Guide to Buying in Public (this one's short!)

    Everywhere I go I keep seeing repeated posts about how to go about buying diapers in public. And everywhere I go I see a lot of people setting other people (unintentionally) up for embarassing and awkward situations based on their own perceptions of how this should be done.

    The problem, especially among TBDL's is that there's very little experience out there among the groups trying to get a simple solution.

    So here it is, and it may surprise you.

    Step 0. Drive to the store. If you're worried about being recognized, drive a little farther.
    Step 1. Walk into the store.
    Step 2. Gather anything you may want, and then grab your diapers. (I say grab the diapers last because I remember how hard it was working up the nerve 11 years ago!)
    Step 3. Proceed to checkout counter.
    Step 4. Buy your things.
    Step 5. Leave the store.

    Wow! That was... pretty easy, huh?

    You may notice there are quite a few things left out that you'd find in other such guides. The biggest one? Why in the Gods' names do you need a story to buy something at a store? Stores were made so people could buy stuff.

    As a member of the retail world for most of my life, and as a diaper buyer for most of my teen-adult life, I can honestly say that no one is terribly concerned with what you're buying.

    For example, a man goes to CVS and buys feminine deodorant and some pads. The clerk is not going to say, "Oh, this man is sick." They're going to say to themselves, "Oh how sweet, he's not ashamed to buy for his girlfiend."

    Unless you make a great big deal out of it, no one's going to even remember your face five minutes after you leave. If you try and tell a story to break the tension (that in truth only exists on your side of the counter) it's going to draw attention to you.

    If I come off as high-and-mighty, it's only because I've been there and am trying to save you guys and gals some trouble based on my own experiences.

    I remember pretty early on in my adventures I went to walmart to get some depends samples since I was low on cash and the girl I was with said she'd try it... So I go in at 2am and I'm standing at the register feeling terribly self conscious, and the woman makes idle chat as she's ringing me up. Suddenly, I'm telling this huge story about a grandmother who doesn't exist having issues in the middle of the night. What could have been a 30 second transaction ended up being a five minute conversation (of TERROR in my mind) about what a sweet young man I was for doing this at this hour of the night.

    Not only was the entire thing awkward and embarassing, but afterwards I felt a terrible guilt for having been praised for five minutes when really I was just a big kink.

    The bottom line - stores were made so that people could buy things. Buying things in stores is thus a normal event, no matter what the purchase. If you don't have to make up a story to justify (to a clerk who doesn't know you) why you're buying tampons, or condoms, or candy, then why should you have to justify yourself for buying diapers?

    Just play it cool and natural and you'll never have a problem.

    I know this thread is a bit redundant, but I wanted it to be seen! Hope you enjoyed and maybe learned something! :3

  2. #2


    Nice... very nice.

  3. #3


    Just a little note. It's certainly not an issue for all of us "oldies" with a car and a driving license, but probably someone would have a problem going past the first step.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Somnolent_tk View Post
    Step 0. Drive to the store.
    Not having a car, in which trunk you can immediately hide your purchases and bring them home hidden until the right moment to take them out arises, definitely makes things more complicated!

  4. #4


    A good attitude to it, though I must admit I actually find making a story up actually gives me a bit of a thrill. I don't have many real problems with this. My problems come in other areas.

    1) Actually finding something worth buying over on this little isle

    2) Finding time to get out and get them with my over protective parents who might wonder what I have brought

    3) Getting them home. I have no car, I can't drive if I did, and if you include walking and waiting for the bus as well as the bus journey itself it is between 20 and 30 minutes both ways.

  5. #5


    The only advice I have is if you're really that nervous about buying diapers, throw in a "happy 40th bday" card for a buck fifty. Everytime I've done this, the cashier has chuckled with no weird glances whatsoever.

  6. #6


    It's not really that hard, i walked in the store (tried to work up the courage for about 10 minutes =/) then i grabbed a pack of goodnites (<<) and proceded to the self checkout (which was a fricking 30 minute trip because i got trapped behind a slow moving family with about 3 kids around my age (15)) I must say, the cashier was nice to me, overly so, when the machine effed up >_<. It's really not that hard guys, in fact, i find it far more daunting an idea to buy a pacifier (which i need to do) than buy diapers. ~shrug~ maybe that's just me.

  7. #7


    This is the total truth. Every job I've ever had has been customer-service based and unless a customer is being really awkward, you've forgotten they even existed five minutes later. Because by then you've dealt with several other customers, all of whom you're going to forget a few minutes later because you're occupied with another customer....

    ....starting to see the pattern?

  8. #8


    The only thing that really stops people form buying diapers at the store is self-consciousness and being embarrassed by it. Once you realise that the cashier doesn't care what you buy (they are probably more concerned with getting their shift over with), then it makes things a whole lot easier. Really, diapers are just like any other item on the shelf. I know, I've worked retail jobs before and really paid no attention to what I scanned through.

  9. #9


    I like the thrill of buying in the store. It's kind of in my head screaming hey this is who I am. If you think this is weird, you should know everything else I have done in my life, hahaha.

  10. #10


    Buying from the store is a thrill for me as well. I have no life so it's a fair amount of excitement for me. The first time is difficult for most everyone. After that its easy. I also work retail and I can say I forget faces very quickly. Just last saturday a guy bought a few things and i hadda check his ID. Not even 3 minutes later he came back and I asked for it again. I felt stupid. I caught myself before i finished saying "can i see your id". But I see about 1000+ different faces in an 8 hour shift.

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