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Thread: Old Fashion Discipline.

  1. #1

    Default Old Fashion Discipline.

    Being born back in 1980, of course I got the tail end of what I like to call “the spanking era.” The time when, if you were to “cut up” (like my grandmother used to say), you got dealt with on the spot. Acting a fool at home? No problem *spank*, acting a fool at the store, No problem *spank*, talking back to your elders, No problem *spank.* Heck, the teachers used to give them out at school too! This of course, is not to be confused with child abuse; there is a fine line between outright hurting a child and popping one on the rear, in which to learn a lesson about “dos and don’ts.” Over the years though, I’ve notice the decline of elderly respect, the type of foul language that would make a sailor run and hide and the most awful ways a lot of these young kids are coming up today. This is not to say they are all like this, but the handful that are, makes this issue such as the big deal it is. While totally and 100% agreeing that child services should rightfully exist and do their job to the fullest extent of the law; in my opinion, they are also the reason why this younger generation is, what they have become. I mean, come on, really? If I would have opened my mouth and talked about *doing* someone’s mom when I was their age, I would have had the worlds sorest behind and the taste of Dial soap in my mouth for a week! One of my biggest pet peeves in life, is witnessing a child talk back AND swear at their parents. Maybe if the children of today got spanked every now and again, we wouldn’t have the 2000’s MTV generation where you are not “cool” unless you are cursing someone out every two minutes. Call me way out of line, but this is how I feel.

    I also want to apologize for the complete blitz of posts I’ve done over the past week. I don’t usually have much to say, as I’m more of a reader than I am a talker. The website came back to me as being a “lurker” and I figured, I might as well bring something back to the “community table” for once.

  2. #2

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    Life Boy and Lava were the soaps of choice for my mom, and yes, she was a big spanker. The problem I have with spanking is I see too much hitting by mothers in the inner city where I work at school. Usually it's accompanied by a lot of anger, and then comes the hit, followed by crying. There just seems to be better ways to discipline. We need to teach our children that violence is wrong, and that there are better ways to deal with problems.

  3. #3

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    I wasn't spanked often at all, but my dad threatened me with his belt a lot and did spank me with it a couple of times. I don't remember the actual act, but the threat and me being beyond terrified (think: me at a very young age cowering in a corner, sobbing) is pretty vivid. Yeah I was pretty damn terrified of it. Ironically, I fantasize about spanking all the time now. Or maybe not so ironic. Go figure. =/ But remembering the sheer fear I had of being whipped with a belt...it's enough for me to NEVER consider spanking my children (if/when I have any.)

  4. #4

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    I was threatened with spaking and was spanked a few times as a kid. However I have an especially crafty dad and mom who will leave what they do to you a mystery. The fear of what could be worse than a spaking was a big deterent for me. I'm still afraid of my dad to his suprise and regret I think. I flinch when he reaches for me or somthing near me sometimes. I know he'd never do anything bad to me but when I was a kid the mystery of what they'd come up with was very very scary.

  5. #5

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    I was spanked as a child. I was also hit with a wooden spoon too. I have even had my pants pulled down and spanked on my bare butt. I have also had my hands slapped too. I have also had my face slapped and mouth. She also gave me warnings about it telling me I will get my mouth slapped if I say the word next time or ask me if I want to be spanked or be hit with a wooden spoon or if I want my mouth slapped.

    What mom also did to me what when she get mad at me she send me off to my room or out of the room saying she is too angry with me to have me in the room so go to my room or leave the room. Then I would be worried about what punishment she was going to give me. Then she call me and say I can come downstairs now or come in the room and she isn't mad anymore. Basically the punishment was having me worry about what was going to happen and what the punishment is going to be.

  6. #6

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    I was never spanked, nor was I ever threatened. I refuse to spank my children, if I am ever lucky enough to have my own.

    There is enough information out there to deter me from ever spanking. Such as evidence that points to spanking making children more violent, and other evidence that shows that spanking actually lowers a child's IQ. I've heard too many stories of children talk about their dislike for their parents because of being spanked, and I've heard too much information on spanking and its negative effects to believe anything positive comes out of it.

    I'd prefer my children behave out of respect and love. I don't want fear to be in the equation. There are perfectly good ways to discipline a child. Spanking, however, is an extreme. I see no reason to ever have to spank, especially since there are a vast number of ways to get obedience out of a child. Using soap, taking away entertainment, grounding, etc.

  7. #7

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    Over here we call spanking Corperal punishment.
    Its illegal to spank a child over here now, however there is NO discipline here anymore.
    Kids are not afraid of their elders and have no respect.
    Very often the kids beat teachers up and there have been a few murders too.
    I know I cannot generalize, but since corperal punishment was abolished, the new generation of kids have lost respect, and they now have the power to have parent imprisoned for a spanking if they were doing wrong.
    In my day we knew our place.....
    Good ol manners, and respect.

  8. #8

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    KuroCat, I'd have to agree but also disargree at the same time. My nephew (though marriage) was (is being) raised in the disciplinary ways of which you speak and yet has some of the same problems you mentioned. IQ wise, you may be correct in that statement, but then again, from the time the kid was born, he was known to be smarter than your adverage child anyway and you are only one year older than he. As far as violence is concern, I grew up in the "inner city" (I guess is the P.C. description these days) and although it was normal for kids in my generation to play games like the original "Mortal Kombat", Although I had rough friends and hung out with them, I was still the shy kid that got beat up. My nephew on the other hand is at least two hundred pounds heavier than he should be. He is very sarcastic with anyone and everyone. He is extremely anti-social. Although his parents love and worry about him to death, he finds them rather annoying and he is on medication for anger management. I didn't write this reply as a counter, I just simply wanted to point out, a handful of people included in a "statistic" (although none were given here) doesn't speak for everyone, at least in this case. Times are different now and I respect that, but I can't help being from an era where respect was a key role in a child's upbringing.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ebonybaby View Post
    KuroCat, I'd have to agree but also disargree at the same time. My nephew (though marriage) was (is being) raised in the disciplinary ways of which you speak and yet has some of the same problems you mentioned. IQ wise, you may be correct in that statement, but then again, from the time the kid was born, he was known to be smarter than your adverage child anyway and you are only one year older than he. As far as violence is concern, I grew up in the "inner city" (I guess is the P.C. description these days) and although it was normal for kids in my generation to play games like the original "Mortal Kombat", Although I had rough friends and hung out with them, I was still the shy kid that got beat up. My nephew on the other hand is at least two hundred pounds heavier than he should be. He is very sarcastic with anyone and everyone. He is extremely anti-social. Although his parents love and worry about him to death, he finds them rather annoying and he is on medication for anger management. I didn't write this reply as a counter, I just simply wanted to point out, a handful of people included in a "statistic" (although none were given here) doesn't speak for everyone, at least in this case. Times are different now and I respect that, but I can't help being from an era where respect was a key role in a child's upbringing.
    Oh, don't worry. I'm not saying that every case is the same. I've heard of stories where children are glad they've been spanked, that they feel a lot closer to their families for it. I've also known of many children who are very successful in life and have been spanked. I'm not saying that every child is going to turn out into a little devil with a dunce cap. But I am saying that there is a lot of risk involved with spanking, and the negative aspects deter me from considering it.

    I'm sure that sometime down the road, I'd spank. It may be the only thing that gets my child's attention or something. Some kids seem as though they need to be spanked, and others seem like they'd be perfect without it.

  10. #10

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    This is a tough one for me, because on one hand, I see the benefit of constructive corporal punishment. We are mammals, and as such, we have certain tendencies - one of them being a natural caring for our offspring that extends to physical discipline. I saw it all the time when my kitty couple raised their two litters of kittens - there was no love lost between them and their babies when they had to correct them for being stupid (for a cat). But like any animal, we have the capacity of going overboard, or letting anger take over, which is what I partly experienced growing up.

    I don't consider my life growing up to have been in a particularly abusive environment - my father simply allowed his extremely hot temper to overwhelm him, and me being the oldest child, the male and maybe his competitor in some ways, he felt threatened and lashed out, irregularly and seldom, but very dangerously violent and brutal when it did occur. Case in point, breaking my arm when I was 6 for taking too long doing something, or kicking and punching me for closing the garage door too loudly at age 13. I doubt these could be justified by any sound mind.

    Still, I did get disciplined for legitimate offenses, and in far more appropriate ways, and I don't hold those against him or my mother - but when parents let the actions of their children consume them with anger while attempting to invoke discipline it really twists and perverts the whole process.

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