I need some advice from others in or have been in the situation I am facing now.
I love my dad and I would never change him for anyone in the world. However... Over the last year now, I am worried that him and I are beginning to fall out with each other.
My dad has had many operations on his neck. Basically all of his discs have fallen apart and he is in constant pain everyday. Ever since I was 13, all of us in our family have had to look after him. He can walk but can't do too much heavily lifting or bending over etc.
Since then, we have had to move house three times as with less income coming in and now have moved into a house which needs a major revamp. (boiler, bathroom, kitchen etc).
My dad has been going on to us all about how we can't afford anything.
Now, I told my dad about my attempted suicide at college a few years ago and since then, things have changed. I understand he was worried about my well being, but a lot of stress I suffer comes from him. I don't think he took me being gay too well and doesn't understand my AB side at all. He thinks I need o see someone to get it out of me.
I understand a lot of the time he is in pain, but he never takes responsibility for anything he does wrong. NEVER. It's always me or someone else, but never him.
I don't know what I want to do in life. I have been like that for ages. Nothing jumped out at me, so I took a year off to earn some money. However my dad keeps saying I need to choose a career path, and whenever I say anything like I don't know, he'll respond 'well if you want to waste your life away then go ahead'
Number one, I nearly died at college and have this fear about going back into education. It was the worst 3 years of my life and has affected me very badly.
Number two: I enjoy making money and being able to do my own thing.
We fell out a few months ago when I wanted to go on holiday to Florida on my own. He doesnt think I can cope and when my mum confronted him about it, he gave us both the silent treatment. He still says stuff like I need to learn what's goin on in the real world and how it works. Now I am autistic and I am aware how things can be difficult for me, but I know what the real world is. I work. I save money, I have a wonderful boyfriend who has changed my life (even if he lives across the pond) I just feel really depressed whenever he says anything to me. I'm going to see a therapist about all this but he doesn't want to go as he feels it's a waste of time. I was supposed to see someone yesterday but I had to work because we are so short staffed at the minute, and he ranted at me big time.
I just need some advice from anyone on anything I should say or do. Hope it all makes sense. Typing on an iPhone with a few minutes lunch break isn't easy. Love to you all x