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Thread: Opinions on whether the idea of "Fetish" adequately describes AB/DL

  1. #1

    Default Opinions on whether the idea of "Fetish" adequately describes AB/DL

    I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be AB/DL. I think that in many cases it can be classified as a fetish, but I think that for many people it is also something else in addition to fetish. Or for some, not a fetish at all. What do you all think, is the commonly accepted definition of Fetish enough to describe AB/DL?
    I have limited knowledge of other kinds of fetishes. In my case, my memories of my own intense interest and desire for diapers, go all the way back to the age of 3 or 4. This seems like a very early beginning for a fetish. Do some other common fetishes begin showing themselves at such an early age?
    For many people it seems that AB/DL can be a really significant portion of their lifestyle. I wonder if other fetishes function similarly. The only one that comes to mind is the Furry Fandom. Do most people in the fandom consider it to be a fetish? Or, is it only partly a fetish? Or, is it not a fetish at All?
    I also wonder if anyone can recommend some good books related to Fetish; Its history, what it means to have one, and how it relates to modern society. Have any books been written specifically about AB/DL? I know there are some good resources online, but I am looking for some in depth stuff. Your thoughts and recommendations are much appreciated!

  2. #2


    To me itís a fetish (Letís 85%), and itís kind have the emotional side.. Wear diapers and pretend to a baby turn me on, but I also can feel very happy and loved, when I do that.

    About books talking about paraphilic infantilism, itís not much old information, you know, before the internet was very hard to even know that this exists, itís was hard to documented cases like that, and even today is very hard, because most of people stay on animosity and don't participated of research involving abdl. Most of studies that I know are recent, from the 90ís ahead.

    But there some few cases , documented in the 60ís about abdl, or diaper fetish that I read once.

  3. #3


    Saw someone make a post not so long ago that said a kink is a significant turn-on, whereas a fetish is something you can't get off without. That's kinda blunt I guess. I would say if your sexual interests focus primarily on abdl stuff (or any perversion of "normal" intercourse stuff) then you got yourself a fetish. I don't know when that starts developing for most people, but I've heard about "love map" theory stuff and while some other member might have more info on that (or there's always google), I think most science folks are saying your sexual identity starts getting influenced and formed at a very early age and then develops from there into maturity. As such, it makes sense there would be some significant emotional attachment going on there since its something that's always been a part of you. The nature of abdlism seems to lend itself to an emotional aspect maybe even more so than other fetishes too I guess (sure, there's "comfort" in sexual release and exploration or whatever, but the regression stuff might take this to a different level for some).

    There is some pretty intense identity / lifestyle stuff that can go on with fetishes. As you mentioned, there's the furry stuff, but even with abdlism, some people make it the #1 thing in life. Personally, I think there might be some better things to devote that much time and energy to, but whatever. Any interest can become a passion or an obsession, and a sex drive can do a lot to influence one's actions.

    There are lots of people on ADISC who say that regression / diapers are just emotional comforts - totally non sexual. Others will say the opposite, that its just sexual. I think for most, its both - a fetish that's a big part of there life. Different people will take that to different levels, but I think it would be tough to dismiss an emotional aspect from sexuality. Also, as evidenced so clearly on ADISC, there's a big desire for community and acceptance with the fetish, and I'd say that's probably a big deal for the furry fandom stuff.

    Yeah, I dunno. I'm no expert. And I'm tired. But hopefully something good in there.

  4. #4


    I am only as reliable as wikipedia on this, but I believe most fetishes develop in childhood. In my case, "fetish" accurately describes my fascination with diapers simply because my desire to wear them is sexual. It is generally agreed that DL is fetish, but AB might not necessarily be one.

    For many people, it seems that being AB is form of therapy rather than a sexual activity. I'd say the same goes for the furry fandom; some people appreciate the art, but they don't have any sexual feelings towards anthropomorphized animals.

  5. #5


    Love Map theory, I already listen about this..

    From John Money

    - - - Updated - - -

    Just a question for people that reading this topic? The ABDL stuff, it's your only fetish? Because I have like many fetishes, cross-dressing, body swap (yes, i know that it's not possible do this on real life, but stories with this turned me on)

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don’t know if have anything to do, but I slept on a crib until my 7, 8 years, I guess, and I also sleep in my parents room until my 12 years old. And I also my parents always was, and until today, overprotective. I guess that this probably influenced me, to my abdl side...

  6. #6


    I call it a fetish because it's classified as one. I am not going to be all PC about it by saying it's not one. if it's not sexual for you, okay, that is just you. Besides I am skeptical when anyone claims it's not sexual for them because how do they know? I didn't know until I was told it turns me on and I didn't know that. I am suspecting diapers was sexual for my ex too even though he said it was not but there are hints that it was sexual for him.

    Looking back I am thinking diapers started to get sexual for me in high school because I started to feel uncomfortable liking to see babies in diapers or watch them get changed because he felt too creepy for me and pedophilelish. Also the fact it felt creepy to imagine my parents babying me and changing my diapers. But back in sixth grade I did want to be babied and changed by them and had that fantasy because I wanted to be little and go back to my early childhood. Now I don't feel that way anymore with my parents and it makes me feel shudders inside. But at the same time I still fantasized it but then it also feel creepy and it was when it was starting to get sexual for me. Now it's hell no. I wonder if me being treated like a little girl is sexual because I would not want to be treated like a child by my parents, it makes me angry if my mother tells me how to live my life but yet if my husband does it, no problem. No problem when he makes me go to bed or tells me what to eat but if mom were to try that with me, I tell her to not tell me how to live my life and I am an adult not a child so stop treating me like one. It's like I am defiant now but with my husband I am fine. It doesn't bother me as much and I am more likely to listen to him than to my own parents. So if my mom wants me to do something, she would have to go to my husband for it :wink:

    I am starting to pick up on hints about how to tell if something is sexual for you or not and I think if you don't want to be babied by your parents or changed by them not because it be seen bad by society or seen wrong but because it makes you uncomfortable and you find it creepy to even imagine it, hint that this is sexual for you.

  7. #7



    Saw someone make a post not so long ago that said a kink is a significant turn-on, whereas a fetish is something you can't get off without. That's kinda blunt I guess. I would say if your sexual interests focus primarily on abdl stuff (or any perversion of "normal" intercourse stuff) then you got yourself a fetish
    If I were to follow that definition of fetish, which I have also come across before, then I would have to say that I do not have a fetish. It seems to me though, that the definition more commonly accepted in pop culture falls more in line with a Fetish being an intense sexual interest, but not necessarily required for sexual gratification. I'm glad you brought this up as it shows some of the reasons I have been wondering what a fetish really is. It seems that we have some competing definitions for the word. Thanks everyone for your replies.

  8. #8


    Whether AB/DL is considered a fetish or not varies from person to person because not only does everyone have a different reason for enjoying diapers, but each person's definition of fetish is different as well. I'm not entirely sure whether I'd consider my feelings to be a fetish or not because I'm asexual and don't want sex and don't masturbate, but I do get sort of excited when I put on a diaper.

    I don't think this question can ever be answered with a simple yes or no because if I can't classify whether I think my AB/DL side is a fetish, I don't think think it would be possible for the entire AB/DL community to decide whether this should be classified as a fetish or not.

  9. #9


    Hell no! It is not a fetish by design. Yes there can be fetishistic aspects or it can be a fetish in it's entirety to some people, however there is a large enough group of people who do this "because it's who they are" that it cannot be treated simply as a fetish. That is like saying that someone who likes calamari is into hentai tentacle porn. Yes, that is a weird example, but it gets the point across I think.

  10. #10


    It's not a fetish for me, but I guess it is for some people? That seems strange to me because I don't actually know anyone (yet) who gets something sexual out of regressing to a childlike state. I know of plenty of diaper fetishists, who are turned on by wearing diapers, and sissies who get off on being dressed like a girl and humiliated. But I don't know a single adult baby or little who actually gets turned on by just acting like a kid and being babied.

    Oh, and Calico... I wouldn't in a million years want to be changed by my parents... the thought makes me uncomfortable and I find it creepy. But that in NO WAY means it's a sexual thing. I'm an adult and any situation where my parents would be in close proximity to my unclothed genitals and TOUCHING THEM (as in... to wipe me off during a change) would be weird. Not because it's sexual for me to be little or in a diaper, but because it's my parents and I'm an adult and those are my genitals. Obviously I'm okay with my wife doing that, but that's just because I'm comfortable with her seeing my naked adult body. Once I reached a certain age, I didn't want my mom checking on me in the shower either, but that doesn't mean that's a sexual thing just because it makes me uncomfortable.
    However, sometimes my mom gets me happy meal toys and does other things to treat me like a kid because she knows I've always been very childlike. I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with her bossing me around but I don't think that means it's sexual just because the only person I let do it is my wife. I think it just means I got bossed around by my parents enough the first time around.

    I've actually run into a lot of this lately, people referring to it as a fetish. I feel like for many people being an adult baby/little is a coping mechanism. Purely emotional. I know that's what it is for me, in addition to just having a childlike personality.

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