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Thread: Balancing satisfaction?

  1. #1

    Default Balancing satisfaction?

    What percentage of your sexual activity would you like to involve diapers?

    Or, same question, but if your partner didn't share your interest?
    (Boyfriend is a DL, I am not)

    Our sex life has only had diaper play involvement a few times, but after a disscusion, we decided to incorporate it, a couple times a month.
    We had our most advanced night of foreplay, with a diaper, last week. And, when we have our next "diaper catered night" again, I'd like to be prepared.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    I can be messaged, if needed.

  2. #2

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    Personally I would only want 10% if my girlfriend wan't into it. But if she was, 90%. Ultimately you would have to talk to him, sex is very personal....Besides, it couldn't be the most awkward discussion you have ever had.

  3. #3

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    I have sexual activity? Man, I better write home, this is ground breaking!

    All jokes aside, I'd suggest you just take it slow with diapers in sexual situations. If you ween someone into the realm, they're much more likely to agree with it(And even enjoy it, often times), but if you rush, they might just get weirded out, and not wish to do it anymore. It's like boiling frogs...whoever the hell did that is mean though.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by RunningEasy View Post
    Personally I would only want 10% if my girlfriend wan't into it. But if she was, 90%. Ultimately you would have to talk to him, sex is very personal....Besides, it couldn't be the most awkward discussion you have ever had.
    Thanks for your preference. Every little bit more I understand helps.

    We've talked about it. Just this morning in fact. My problem is I feel like he's more turned on by diapers, then by me. When we involve them, he can't seem to see past them.
    Like, we're having a threesome, and he's less interested in me.

    He doesn't usually last long, at all, when diapers are involved, also...

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Eulogy View Post
    I'd suggest you just take it slow with diapers in sexual situations. If you ween someone into the realm, they're much more likely to agree with it(And even enjoy it, often times), but if you rush, they might just get weirded out, and not wish to do it anymore. It's like boiling frogs...whoever the hell did that is mean though.
    We have taken it slower, I think. Been together over a year and used diapers 5 times or so. And, I don't mind it, on occasion.
    I'm afraid the more we do it, though... The more that's what he'll need, till sex is unsatisfying for him without.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillies5112 View Post
    Thanks for your preference. Every little bit more I understand helps.

    We've talked about it. Just this morning in fact. My problem is I feel like he's more turned on by diapers, then by me. When we involve them, he can't seem to see past them.
    Like, we're having a threesome, and he's less interested in me.

    He doesn't usually last long, at all, when diapers are involved, also...
    You are a saint. It's hard to deal with feelings like these, your boyfriend has probobly been obsessing over this fetish and beating off to diaper girls pictures. Now he has taken a huge leap of faith by telling you and he is probobly really happy to have you, as for threesomes usually 2/3 people aren't completely satisfied and it's never the dude. Maybe you could put on a diaper yourself, have him lay down on the bed, then stradle his back and give him a massage then the diapers come off and normal person super happy fun times ensue. This could be a win win situation, use the diapers as leverage, a 'reward mechanism'. This would benefit both people. Just don't let him force you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by RunningEasy View Post
    You are a saint. It's hard to deal with feelings like these, your boyfriend has probobly been obsessing over this fetish and beating off to diaper girls pictures. Now he has taken a huge leap of faith by telling you and he is probobly really happy to have you, as for threesomes usually 2/3 people aren't completely satisfied and it's never the dude. Maybe you could put on a diaper yourself, have him lay down on the bed, then stradle his back and give him a massage then the diapers come off and normal person super happy fun times ensue. This could be a win win situation, use the diapers as leverage, a 'reward mechanism'. This would benefit both people. Just don't let him force you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with.
    We've been together for over a year, and I've known since a few weeks in. We didn't have an in depth conversation about it, until 3 months in, thouugh.

    As far as a reward mechanism, I don't want end up where if we have sex without diapers, it's unsatisfying for him. He said he may need to "build up a tolerance" to their use in the bedroom (regarding duration) but, I feel it will have the opposite effect. That he'll need diaper stimuli to enjoy himself, every time.

    I don't mind their occasional use in the bedroom, however. Part of a relationship is catering to both person's needs.

    He definitely seemed to like the idea of me in a diaper, when I brought it up. Even, asked if HE could diaper me.
    I'll try it. It won't hurt anyone and it'll be a new experience. I'm just nervous and a little scared. Understandably.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillies5112 View Post
    We've been together for over a year, and I've known since a few weeks in. We didn't have an in depth conversation about it, until 3 months in, thouugh.

    As far as a reward mechanism, I don't want end up where if we have sex without diapers, it's unsatisfying for him. He said he may need to "build up a tolerance" to their use in the bedroom (regarding duration) but, I feel it will have the opposite effect. That he'll need diaper stimuli to enjoy himself, every time.

    I don't mind their occasional use in the bedroom, however. Part of a relationship is catering to both person's needs.

    He definitely seemed to like the idea of me in a diaper, when I brought it up. Even, asked if HE could diaper me.
    I'll try it. It won't hurt anyone and it'll be a new experience. I'm just nervous and a little scared. Understandably.
    I can't imagine a guy being unsatisfied with any sex . If that is a possiblility make sure you adress it with him.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by RunningEasy View Post
    I can't imagine a guy being unsatisfied with any sex
    Haha.
    Thanks for your input.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillies5112
    What percentage of your sexual activity would you like to involve diapers?
    Placing limits and numbers such as a "percentage" on aspects of sexual activity isn't really novel. Interests change and move around a lot, and thinking too much and revolving around how much you think is enough for the month can be limiting in a bad way. There such thing as too much or too little if it makes you unhappy, and one's partner should voice that. For example, a couple blogs I've read on a non AB/DL and AB/DL couple had issues were one wanted a little more vanilla sex, as diaper play dominated the relationship for a time.

    At this point in time, I'm not sure how much I would divulge to my partner if at all. I don't necessarily require a partner to fulfill my needs this way. I fear character assassination from an ex, and the last one who I thought was "the one" would have spilled it to most of my friends. I haven't come to terms with that yet, and risks to me currently seem to outweigh the rewards. If I didn't share my partners particular sexual fetish or kink, I would like to be involved in it as long as it didn't dominate our relationship. I want to make her happy.



    We've talked about it. Just this morning in fact. My problem is I feel like he's more turned on by diapers, then by me. When we involve them, he can't seem to see past them.
    Like, we're having a threesome, and he's less interested in me.

    He doesn't usually last long, at all, when diapers are involved, also...
    These are two very classic sexual concerns/problems. First understand that it's a fetishist's focus, and it's rather typical. This is how other underwear type fetishes work too. It's can also make the other partner feel like their not involved or an afterthought and that feeling needs to be made aware. In another example. Guys for instance can feel inadequate or insecure if they can't get their partner to orgasm without their partner's favorite toy. Then they think she loves the toy more than him. Partners want to feel appreciated and feel they are the objects of their desires and the only one that can do so. Talk to him about this next conversation, but don't sound "whiny" about it, just say how it makes you feel. If he's a good partner, I'm sure he will have nothing but supportive things to say. This a actually a common problem that comes up a lot, do a search around on sexual communication style sites. I can't post an 18+ link (nor can I remember what site it was..)

    As for that issue. Some things can over stimulate. It's normal, and can be remedied to a degree through practice.



    As far as a reward mechanism, I don't want end up where if we have sex without diapers, it's unsatisfying for him. He said he may need to "build up a tolerance" to their use in the bedroom (regarding duration) but, I feel it will have the opposite effect. That he'll need diaper stimuli to enjoy himself, every time.
    It's also a conditioning thing, and this is what I was getting back earlier as too much. To be honest, even a guy like me, its hard for me to justify "I just need it every time!" even if you would just like straight vanilla sex at one point with no fetish objects involved. I'm sure he can do without at some points and still be satisfied. It goes back to the types of sexual insecurities some couples experience such as that involving pornography or a sex toy.

    There's actually a lot of useful information on the net on that particular dilemma.

  10. #10

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    It would also vary based on how a person feels from day-to-day.

    Some nights he might want them, other nights he might want you.

    You could probably anticipate it based on how he acts during the day.

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