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Thread: Why is being safe a crime?

  1. #1

    Default Why is being safe a crime?

    The "blaming the victim" thing seems to be overused. It seems like that every time you tell someone to do things like lock their car, take their valuables with, lock their home, don't wander into strange areas at night, don't take your valuables to school or to work bla bla bla if you don't want this or that to happen, people say you're blaming the victim.

    Why is it a crime to even take precaution and be safe? Fuck you all, I will keep locking my apartment, keep locking things in the trunk of my car, always keep my purse in my arms, when I went to Europe, I wore my purse on my chest (it was like a backpack) because I didn't want to risk a thief opening my bag and taking stuff out and stealing my video games or my wallet because my uncle said there were lot of thieves there. So it got me paranoid and be safe and protect myself from being a victim. Oh god I am blaming the victim if I tell someone they should wear their purse on their chest and be careful where they keep their wallet or else someone may steal it and they can reach into your back pocket and take your wallet. :rolls eyes: Even on the bus sometimes, I see a sign about it telling you to protect your stuff and oh no the company is blaming the victim. :rolls eyes again:

  2. #2

    Default

    There are many people out there who think it'll never happen to them until it does, and only then is it like a slap in the face. Sometimes they don't learn from being a real victim and continue on maybe thinking it can't possibly happen again. I take many precautions as you can never be TOO safe. I don't blame the victims I blame the perps but I do hope the victims learn from their ways and make better preparations so that there's less chance of something happening again.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    The "blaming the victim" thing seems to be overused. It seems like that every time you tell someone to do things like lock their car, take their valuables with, lock their home, don't wander into strange areas at night, don't take your valuables to school or to work bla bla bla if you don't want this or that to happen, people say you're blaming the victim.
    There's nothing wrong with taking precautions and "being safe," but at the same time crimes don't happen by themselves, they happen because someone made a choice to commit them. If someone is a victim of crime you can't put all the blame on them for not taking enough precautions, especially when it's not clear how much good the "precautions" people take do in preventing other people from committing crimes against them. You can lock your car doors, or the doors and windows on your home, but burglars find methods of breaking in, whether that's picking locks or just breaking the windows. The only role that most anti-crime "precautions" have is giving people an illusion of security which silences their fears.

    The only way to protect yourself completely from crime is to become a hermit, don't have any contact with other people beyond the absolute necessary, that way people you meet will have the minimum of opportunity to do wrong to you.

  4. #4

    Smile

    Well... there's a difference between advice and blaming the victim. If someone left their car unlocked with an expensive laptop on the dashboard, you might give them the advice that, "You should lock the door and take the laptop with you so it doesn't get stolen."

    The problem is... that most people hate taking advice. If you tell them something sensible, what they hear in their head is, "You didn't think of this and I had to tell you. You must be stupid!" and they get offended (even though it was really good advice).

    Or if they have already considered the risks and thought, "This is a safe area so my laptop probably won't be stolen, and carrying it would be really annoying and I might get mugged. It's better to leave it here.". If you then offer your advice, people will hear the same thing: "You didn't think of this and I had to tell you. You must be stupid!" and they get annoyed because they want to shout back, "I *DID* think of that without you telling me; I'm not stupid!"

    Basically, people can be really dumb because... well... they're so worried about other people thinking they're dumb. It's kind of ironic!

    But blaming the victim is a bit different. That might happen if, after returning to his car, your friend discovered his laptop had been stolen and you said, "I've got no sympathy with you. You should have locked the doors and not left the laptop in plain sight. It's your fault this happened."

    Your friend may have been reckless and shares some culpability in allowing the theft (or making it un-necessarily easy). Most insurance policies wouldn't cover theft of an object left on display in a locked car, for example, so the insurance companies in a way would think that your friend was at fault for making the crime too easy.

    But it's a bit unfair to say that the crime itself was his fault. He isn't actually responsible for the crime -- the thief is!

    The act of "blaming the victim" seems to happen most often in rape cases where people say that the victim "deserved" to get raped because she was wearing very revealing clothes and flirting provocatively. Thankfully most courts now realise that people have a right not to be raped regardless of what they're wearing.

    Maybe... instead of offering advice like, "You should do X so that Y doesn't happen", people might see it as less of an "order" if you just asked... "Are you taking this with you?" or "Do you need to lock the door?" That way it just sounds like you're asking about something that they themselves have chosen to do... instead of ordering them to be safe... I dunno...

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    The act of "blaming the victim" seems to happen most often in rape cases where people say that the victim "deserved" to get raped because she was wearing very revealing clothes and flirting provocatively. Thankfully most courts now realise that people have a right not to be raped regardless of what they're wearing.
    Most women who are victims of a sexual attack are attacked by someone they know, most often a partner or family member. If you're a woman who wants to take precautions against being attacked, don't get into a relationship with a man.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraRiddle View Post
    Most women who are victims of a sexual attack are attacked by someone they know, most often a partner or family member. If you're a woman who wants to take precautions against being attacked, don't get into a relationship with a man.
    That is over simplifying the problem. A better way to keep from being attacked is to join the ever growing number of women who have concealed carry permits. The police can't protect you from a crime. They only come by afterward to do paperwork.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteAndLeft View Post
    That is over simplifying the problem. A better way to keep from being attacked is to join the ever growing number of women who have concealed carry permits. The police can't protect you from a crime. They only come by afterward to do paperwork.
    Yes it's a deliberate over simplification, reduction to absurdity as they say...

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    Well... there's a difference between advice and blaming the victim. If someone left their car unlocked with an expensive laptop on the dashboard, you might give them the advice that, "You should lock the door and take the laptop with you so it doesn't get stolen."

    The problem is... that most people hate taking advice. If you tell them something sensible, what they hear in their head is, "You didn't think of this and I had to tell you. You must be stupid!" and they get offended (even though it was really good advice).

    Or if they have already considered the risks and thought, "This is a safe area so my laptop probably won't be stolen, and carrying it would be really annoying and I might get mugged. It's better to leave it here.". If you then offer your advice, people will hear the same thing: "You didn't think of this and I had to tell you. You must be stupid!" and they get annoyed because they want to shout back, "I *DID* think of that without you telling me; I'm not stupid!"

    Basically, people can be really dumb because... well... they're so worried about other people thinking they're dumb. It's kind of ironic!

    But blaming the victim is a bit different. That might happen if, after returning to his car, your friend discovered his laptop had been stolen and you said, "I've got no sympathy with you. You should have locked the doors and not left the laptop in plain sight. It's your fault this happened."

    Your friend may have been reckless and shares some culpability in allowing the theft (or making it un-necessarily easy). Most insurance policies wouldn't cover theft of an object left on display in a locked car, for example, so the insurance companies in a way would think that your friend was at fault for making the crime too easy.

    But it's a bit unfair to say that the crime itself was his fault. He isn't actually responsible for the crime -- the thief is!

    The act of "blaming the victim" seems to happen most often in rape cases where people say that the victim "deserved" to get raped because she was wearing very revealing clothes and flirting provocatively. Thankfully most courts now realise that people have a right not to be raped regardless of what they're wearing.

    Maybe... instead of offering advice like, "You should do X so that Y doesn't happen", people might see it as less of an "order" if you just asked... "Are you taking this with you?" or "Do you need to lock the door?" That way it just sounds like you're asking about something that they themselves have chosen to do... instead of ordering them to be safe... I dunno...

    That's a very well said post. Honestly I have never seen anyone actually blame the rape victim for being raped but yet I have heard about it in the media and I find it so messed up and don't see the logic. Closest I have ever seen someone be blamed for being raped was when some woman with Asperger's got herself drunk so she was walking home and walked through a park and these guys raped her and killed her and someone on the forum was saying she was so stupid for drinking too much and walking into a unsafe area at night.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    That's a very well said post.
    Aw, thanks. You're making me blush!



    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    Honestly I have never seen anyone actually blame the rape victim for being raped but yet I have heard about it in the media and I find it so messed up and don't see the logic. Closest I have ever seen someone be blamed for being raped was when some woman with Asperger's got herself drunk so she was walking home and walked through a park and these guys raped her and killed her and someone on the forum was saying she was so stupid for drinking too much and walking into a unsafe area at night.
    I think it happens quite a lot in courts. I just did a quick search and found the link below, for example. Basically, a judge convicted a rapist, but decided he shouldn't get a prison sentence because of the clothes the girl was wearing and her "partying" mood. Unbelievable.

    Surely only one sentence needs quoting: "Rhodes then forced himself upon the woman once they were alone." Or maybe just one one word: forced. If you need to use force then it's pretty f***ing clear that it's not consensual!

    Rape victim 'inviting,' so no jail - Brandon Sun

    (I've heard of UK judges making similarly foolish statements on several occasions, too...)

  10. #10

    Default

    It amazes me how tolerant society has become regarding crime. We start to make excuses for the perpetrator and blame the victim. If you leave a laptop temporarily unattended at a coffee shop or at a birthday party in the park and it is stolen within seconds doesn't make you negligent. It is STILL your property regardless of how long it is left unattended. The problem is society has learned to blame the victim of crime and not recognize that the person/persons who swiped the item are criminals.

    In my humble opinion we need to MAKE PUNISHMENT A DETERRENT FOR CRIME. It doesn't solve all of the problems but it is certainly a head in the right direction.

    Yes, there are safeguards that we can take to make us less susceptible to crime but the day we accept this as normal is the day we are in trouble and have given up. Crime will always prevail in a lawless society.

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