Well this is slightly on the mature topic side of things but oh well, this is the audience i want anyway.
I felt like i used to be a very unselfish person for a long time. It wasn't until i felt like i had to defend my personality as an infantilist, that i started to become somewhat selfish, i felt like i had to defend myself and therefore myself was number one in the book of persons I was thinking about. Now that the drama of infantilist vs parents is at a continued hight, selfishness appears to be at a maximum height. I don't want to be selfish, but I can't allow myself to put down my defenses and allow myself to be influenced to purge again in the case that somebody tries to work towards that.
Have any of you noticed that about your situation? If so what do you figure is a good way to not be selfish, while keeping a good defense so you aren't influenced to purge?