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Thread: dad issues

  1. #1
    babyDavid

    Default dad issues

    i dont mean to sound like im after pity cuz im not, and it would just be nice to have some feedback so be nice and i might not be mean.

    my dad, since i can remember, has been sort of tyrannical. he thinks that me and my sister shouldnt do things if theyre not productive or beneficial, and doesnt seem to get the concept of entertainment.

    also, he doesnt seem to get that though it seems like im constantly texting, im not just talking to just one person, but rather a bunch of different people at the same time, and he'll be all like 'dont be a slave to the phone' and i'll point out that when he was my age he didnt have one so how would he know what its like. this just makes him mad and he'll say something about how im biting the hand thats feeding me and how he's the one who's paying for it so he can take it away just as easy.

    when theres school he's always going to the website to check my grades, and he'll give monologues about how my (younger) sister has straight As and why cant i be more like her. and now that school's out he hasnt stopped. he'll keep going on and on about poor work ethic and says that i didnt work hard during the year and still arent working hard now. it makes me so angry to listen to him talk about how im not good enough or rhetorical questions of why cant i be better like my sister or some other shit. and whenever i say something back, just standing up for myself, i may go a bit too far and say something equally not-good and he will say like he's said many times "you make us (mom and dad) feel so warm and fuzzy when you say these things, it makes us want you to be here forever" he's being sarcastic obviously, and its annoying, condescending, and (he's told me) he's counting down the days till im 18, when im outta here.
    well, that makes TWO of us!

    what gives?! whats his problem? am i to blame for this? has anybody else had troubles with their dad? am I in the wrong for feeling this way?

  2. #2

    Default

    You aren't in the wrong for feeling like that way I know I did. His problem is that he is your dad and he wants you to have a good life. You are not to blame for it most parents are like that especially if they care about your future. I had the same issue with my mom.

  3. #3
    babyDavid

    Default

    i know he cares, just wish he wouldnt talk to me as if i was just another one of his employees. like its my job to be the best student and the most obedient son. i stand up for myself (unlike most people in his life) and all i get for it is more arguing but raised voices. not a good combination for a fragile 17 year old.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyDavid View Post
    i dont mean to sound like im after pity cuz im not, and it would just be nice to have some feedback so be nice and i might not be mean.

    my dad, since i can remember, has been sort of tyrannical. he thinks that me and my sister shouldnt do things if theyre not productive or beneficial, and doesnt seem to get the concept of entertainment.

    also, he doesnt seem to get that though it seems like im constantly texting, im not just talking to just one person, but rather a bunch of different people at the same time, and he'll be all like 'dont be a slave to the phone' and i'll point out that when he was my age he didnt have one so how would he know what its like. this just makes him mad and he'll say something about how im biting the hand thats feeding me and how he's the one who's paying for it so he can take it away just as easy.

    when theres school he's always going to the website to check my grades, and he'll give monologues about how my (younger) sister has straight As and why cant i be more like her. and now that school's out he hasnt stopped. he'll keep going on and on about poor work ethic and says that i didnt work hard during the year and still arent working hard now. it makes me so angry to listen to him talk about how im not good enough or rhetorical questions of why cant i be better like my sister or some other shit. and whenever i say something back, just standing up for myself, i may go a bit too far and say something equally not-good and he will say like he's said many times "you make us (mom and dad) feel so warm and fuzzy when you say these things, it makes us want you to be here forever" he's being sarcastic obviously, and its annoying, condescending, and (he's told me) he's counting down the days till im 18, when im outta here.
    well, that makes TWO of us!

    what gives?! whats his problem? am i to blame for this? has anybody else had troubles with their dad? am I in the wrong for feeling this way?
    My Dad and I also have the same argument although rather than me texting, I'm either on skype or facebook. The problem for me is I went to a boarding school for 11 years and all my friends are litteraly scattered all over the country and world, so unlike my sister and brother, who have loads of friends like next door to us, my social life revolves around my laptop, but my dad seems to think I dont have a social life because I'm on my computer.

    You are not in the wrong at all. I agree with Cootsypie. I think he just wants you to do well in life, but this is 2012. Times do change and I think that's what parents find difficult. We are in the era of the computer and things like that.

    As for him saying he can't wait for you to leave the house when you turn 18, that's just wrong. Just stay calm and carry on.

  5. #5
    babyDavid

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tkuk View Post
    My Dad and I also have the same argument although rather than me texting, I'm either on skype or facebook. The problem for me is I went to a boarding school for 11 years and all my friends are litteraly scattered all over the country and world, so unlike my sister and brother, who have loads of friends like next door to us, my social life revolves around my laptop, but my dad seems to think I dont have a social life because I'm on my computer.

    You are not in the wrong at all. I agree with Cootsypie. I think he just wants you to do well in life, but this is 2012. Times do change and I think that's what parents find difficult. We are in the era of the computer and things like that.

    As for him saying he can't wait for you to leave the house when you turn 18, that's just wrong. Just stay calm and carry on.
    same here (minus the boarding school part, though that sounds like it wouldve been awesome for me)
    most of my friends (the good ones anyways) are in different parts of the country so i have no choice but communicating through the phone and facebook. i dont know what he thinks im doing on the computer except that anyways O.o and yeah he doesnt seem to get that its 2012 and the world is now online. plus since my parents never let me have anyone over, i'll talk to them still anyways. they give me this drama of how i'd rather be talking to my friends and not them, as if I'M the enemy XP so stupid...

    and that last part is just fine with me, if im far away from them, and especially him, then i can be free to dress and do as i please, without any of his "when i was your age..." or "what does the Bible say about that..." bah!

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyDavid View Post
    same here (minus the boarding school part, though that sounds like it wouldve been awesome for me)
    most of my friends (the good ones anyways) are in different parts of the country so i have no choice but communicating through the phone and facebook. i dont know what he thinks im doing on the computer except that anyways O.o and yeah he doesnt seem to get that its 2012 and the world is now online. plus since my parents never let me have anyone over, i'll talk to them still anyways. they give me this drama of how i'd rather be talking to my friends and not them, as if I'M the enemy XP so stupid...

    and that last part is just fine with me, if im far away from them, and especially him, then i can be free to dress and do as i please, without any of his "when i was your age..." or "what does the Bible say about that..." bah!
    If I had a nickel (or a penny in my case :P) every time my dad said that to me, I would be a millionaire. "Oh, in my day we did this, we did that, we were out at 6am and back at 9pm blah blah blah."

    I had a conversation with him a few days ago and I was saying how I use facebook and skype to socialise because all of my friends live so far away. He said I should go out and socialise with other people. Easy thing for him to say. I've always found it hard making new friends and since being on ADISC, i've met possibly some of the greatest friends ever ^-^.

    Good luck talking with your parents again *crosses fingers for good luck ^-^*

  7. #7
    babyDavid

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tkuk View Post
    If I had a nickel (or a penny in my case :P) every time my dad said that to me, I would be a millionaire. "Oh, in my day we did this, we did that, we were out at 6am and back at 9pm blah blah blah."

    I had a conversation with him a few days ago and I was saying how I use facebook and skype to socialise because all of my friends live so far away. He said I should go out and socialise with other people. Easy thing for him to say. I've always found it hard making new friends and since being on ADISC, i've met possibly some of the greatest friends ever ^-^.

    Good luck talking with your parents again *crosses fingers for good luck ^-^*
    youre so right! the greatest friends for me have been from this site XD and his parents were never around so he got to do whatever he wantd, which isnt fair. plus the people here in redondo beach (oopsies, i just gave away where i am :P) are mostly fakers and poseres who wouldnt wanna hang out with me lol and the feeling's mutual. theyre too normal haha

    thanks, *crosses fingers and toes*

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