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Thread: Has Accepting Your *B or DL Side Had a Positive Effect on Your Life?

  1. #1

    Default Has Accepting Your *B or DL Side Had a Positive Effect on Your Life?

    I think all of us have a time period in our lives when we weren't *B or DL or simply repressed that side of yourself.

    If you've come to terms with it and/or acted upon it (ie. participating in RP, buying Diapers/Nappies, getting stuff to make you feel more little, regression) do you feel like it has had a directly or indirectly positive effect (your relationships, self-esteem, confidence, feelings of security) or does it cause a lot of negative effects( barrier from you feeling normal, being a secret, compromising your relationships) in your life?

    I've only recently (past 6 months) decided to make my AB/DL side part of my life, and have had a very long period of time in my life where I actively repressed my DL and TB sides. They were always somewhere in the background, but I never acted upon it, and left fantasizing about it for the 15-20 minutes it would take me to fall asleep every night.

    It was sort of like a measuring stick for how secure and happy I felt in my life. If I was going through a particularly stressful or lonely time in my life, I would find it would be harder to repress and I would zone out even during normal activities during the day to think about and fantasize about regression or being able to wear diapers.

    On the other hand, I would find that I would lose interest in any aspect of it when I felt fulfilled and happy with my life and felt a strong sense of security in my relationships. Thus it's not unusual that I considered it only a coping mechanism and felt relief when I didn't need it.

    What I've noticed though is that in parallel with coming to terms and actively accepting this side of myself, eventually indulging in some parts of it, I've also had a great increase in confidence and general security, as well as a decrease in how often I experience symptoms of anxiety. I don't indulge too much these days but it no longer is a nail in my foot, so to speak but rather just an important part of myself.

    With this I have this incredible desire to help other people accept and embrace their own differences and quirks, not only limited to *B/DL type stuff, and generally have become significantly more tolerant and open in every aspect of my life. Perhaps this is something that simply came to me with age, but I definitely love myself more with my AB DL side than I did without.

    Have any of you experienced anything similar or perhaps the complete opposite? I understand that for some, this might not serve as a coping mechanism.

  2. #2


    When I came to terms with myself being an ab/dl, I felt much better about myself, I felt like I liked myself rather than looking at myself as a failure because I wasn't able to remove my fantasy of wearing diapers. Instead I was able to feel like I could express myself, and allow my inner feelings to show, so I could find the inner comfort that I really was desiring badly. I had spent so much time looking at myself with displeasure, but when I was able to accept myself, with my odd quirks, I felt so much comfort.
    The biggest scare that I had though, is I hate lying, and I was going to move back into my parents house, and I didn't want them suspecting things, while I make up stories to cover for myself. I was worried whether they would be able to accept it, but I told them. Neither were happy, but my dad was actually the one more capable with being ok with it, while my mom was obviously hinting that she thought I would just work my way out of it. Her mentality has been a personal barrier of mine that has been causing me a lot of stress and distrust, especially after she went through all of my texts and blocked the numbers of the ab/dls I was in contact with.
    My parents also wanted me to talk to my religious leader, who wanted me to see a psychologist, which I agreed to. It was a disaster, the first visit was yerrible, but it mellowed out for a while. I kept going out of respect for my leaders, but I never wanted to change my life style because I thought it was nessisary, or that I wanted too. After a lot of stress, and feeling like I was wasting everyone's time. I quit going, and feel much more secure and at peace.
    I worry about finding a partner that can accept me, but I know it can happen, so over all, even though some of the people who know are a little iffy about it, I feel like I have a great gift being able to feel happy about the feelings that come from deep within me, that im sure wouldn't have disappeared even if I had tried to remove them.

  3. #3


    I have to say when I accepted this side of my life, my life felt like it got better. When I did finally accept myself I was able to get my mind off this side of my life and was able to focus on more things easily. When I was struggling with it I felt depressed when I had no AB/DL stuff and I constantly was on the internet looking it up, it was the only thing that was on my mind for a long time.

    Like most I went through the purge/binge cycle. I remember buying about 50 diapers and throwing them all out a few nights later. I threw out paci's and bottles as well. I remember one time I thought I would not throw out my diapers I had and I'll see what happens. I kept them around for another week until I eventually threw them out. My problem was when I had diapers I would feel no desires and when I did not have them I felt like I needed these items.

    My only problem is that I want to have relationship with somebody and I feel like my AB/DL side prevents this. I fear that I will not be accepted for who I am. Other than that I am content with my life and nobody knows about my life style choices and doesn't need to know. I have been close to being caught a few times though.

  4. #4


    Yep it help me nice and ince i have acepted it as part of mew i have been in and out of relationships but now i have found the girl i want to be with and she realy like my AB side and it al so made me want to go out and make a name for my self and i have done

  5. #5


    For me its a bit of both. I repressed my ABDLism for many years, to the point where I completely forgot about it. By the time it resurfaced earlier this year I had been (are) with my now-wife for 8 years, which has put me in a bit of a bind re. how to break this to her. I've thought about it a lot and I'm not going to be able to "undo" being ABDL, so until I do tell her, I feel the stress of having to conceal this side of me.

    On the +ve side, I find time spent being little to be thoroughly enjoyable an excellent way of getting my mind to relax, which Is something I've never been good at.

    So embracing it has made me feel more complete as a person, but at the moment its not without its downside.

  6. #6


    Since accepting my AB/DL - and subsequent coming out to my partner - I think I've been much more relaxed about life. I have less anxiety attacks than I used to have, although they've not gone completely. I can wear occasionally around the house and this works as a de-stresser for me. Apart from the padding, I'm also wearing overalls around the house and sometimes outside (covered up), which feels lovely. I started sleeping with a plushie in December, and this means I don't roll around in bed as much as I used to, so I think I sleep better. I also met quite a few people through ADISC who are without exception very friendly and cool, and they make me feel 'normal' .

    On the negative side, I think I'm more secretive around my friends. I don't want to tell them, so I'm disappearing off the radar at times as far as they're concerned. I feel a bit bad about this, but they still get time from me, so I think it's ok. I also have a habit of diving into things head first, so I'm feeling I over-indulge at times. I try to strike a balance around being considerate for my partner/friends and getting my own kicks. In the end this is a very selfish thing, so I think it's worth holding back occasionally and be aware of others around me.

  7. #7


    There was never really a period where I didn't accept it, to some extent at least. That said, when I did discover this side of me, my self-esteem took a large blow, as did my confidence (not that I've ever had much of that). I became depressed, and the only two things that gave me relief from it was music (I probably owe my life to those artists), and my TBDL side (ironically, seeing as that, I surmise, was a cause of my depression).

    What was weird though, was that I never consciously thought that I was disgusting or fucked up. I did, occasionally think to myself—and still do—"fuck this is weird," but it never really went past that. I hated myself, but for other reasons (that I will not share).

    Perhaps I'm lucky in that respect—that it was never really that weird to me. Perhaps not. But being a TBDL has made me a much better person. That, I am sure of.

  8. #8


    I think "accepting it" is a weird term. "Accepting" something about yourself implies that you can no longer deny "it" exists, and you cannot change it.

    In this capacity, I have "accepted" that I have AB/DL tendencies. Do I enjoy having them, though? No. Do I wish I could change it? Yes. Do I try every day to stop these feelings? Hell yeah.

  9. #9


    I tried to fight it; I tried not to think about it. I tried for many months but once a month I would slip up. Eventually I realized that I’m powerless to overcome this side of me. I feel better now; I’m no longer repressing myself. I’m glad that I welcomed a source of pleasure into my life; it was something that I needed.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Possibly Insane View Post
    I think "accepting it" is a weird term. "Accepting" something about yourself implies that you can no longer deny "it" exists, and you cannot change it.

    In this capacity, I have "accepted" that I have AB/DL tendencies. Do I enjoy having them, though? No. Do I wish I could change it? Yes. Do I try every day to stop these feelings? Hell yeah.
    Perhaps the word that we should be using is "embraced."

    As for me, life got noticeably better when I accepted my ABDL side when I was about 19 or 20. Before that, I had certainly had the feelings since I was an actual kid, but I did my damnedest to resist them and fight them. At first it started out as the age-old "only babies wear diapers" idea, and I thought I was the only one in the world that wanted to wear diapers.. As I got older and more religiously inclined, all sorts of religious quandaries presented themselves, and by the time I was old enough to drive and buy my own diapers, any indulgence of my ABDL side was essentially because I had "fallen off the wagon." There were a number of times I bought a pack of diapers only to freak out about it and throw all but two or three of the pack away. As a teenager that was experiencing new feelings thanks to puberty, fighting off being gay thanks to religious indoctrination, and fighting off being an ABDL thanks to religious indoctrination, it was pure hell. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was pretty much always angry or depressed to some degree.

    My acceptance came after I'd once again broken down and indulged. As I fought the guilt, I sat and prayed and tried to figure out why I was feeling guilty and if I was right in feeling guilty. My conclusion at the time was that the bible said nothing about liking diapers directly or anything else fetish-related, so I figured ABDL fell into the same sort of category as food, drink, and other things in life that are perfectly acceptable in god's view as long as they didn't become something I worshipped or went overboard with.

    It wasn't until several years later that I finally embraced my ABDL side (actually it happened not too long before I finally accepted being gay). I had gone through a couple of very long years, as my life had pretty much crumbled around me, I very nearly committed suicide, and I struggled to rebuild the very foundations of my person as I deconverted from religion. Once I got over all the religious crap and finally embraced what had always been there, I finally found peace. I finally stopped being angry and depressed all the time. I finally came to a state of being where, even if being a gay ABDL was going to be a barrier to finding a relationship in the classical sense, I was finally capable of finding and being in and maintaining a relationship. I was finally free to explore and figure out who I really am.

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