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Thread: Around those you love...

  1. #1

    Default Around those you love...

    Before i got married, I told my wife about my bed wetting and of all the things i do so that i can sleep soundly and not mess up my cloths or my bed. I love her so much and she has been a big support. However I feel really uncomfortable having her see me change into and be in a diaper.

    I some time wait till I'm alone to put it on for the night. I guess its just strange to me to be seen in a diaper because even though my family know about my bed wetting they never saw me in diapers. I never care to let them see. But its different when you sleep in the same bed.

    Last night my wife snuggled with me and pulled out my PJ's to see if i was wearing one. and she giggled and spanked my butt, saying "good! no wet sheets to night". She has been super ok with the whole diaper thing, yet im still embarrassed.

    I guess I will just have to adjust and give it some more time. Any one else feel embarrassed being seen by the people they love? Mom, Dad, Wife, Brothers, or Sisters? and how do you deal with it?

  2. #2


    I am like you and very embarrassed. My wife, like yours is super understanding. I prefer sleeping in just my diaper, but when I got married I wore diapers + plastic pants + boxer briefs + pajamas. I did this for the first two months of my marriage, and I never let her see me in my diapers. Now. for the past two months I have been wearing without the pajamas, so you can very much see the diaper bulge, though it is covered by a boxer brief. She refers to this whole set up as my underwear. She laughs sometimes when she sees them.

    We very rarely ever refer to my diapers at all in fact, so I guess we are making progress. She has never asked to see my diapers on me, though she has seen them in the house and in the garbage. I think it is natural for us to be embarrassed. IC is embarrassing to begin with, add that to someone you love and want to respect you and it feels like you are less than you really are. it feels demeaning. Nevertheless, this is our hangup and not theirs. They love us.

    For this reason I get annoyed when she calls me a "baby" whenever I complain about something. I doubt she is doing that in reference to my padding (it's not in her character), but it certainly makes me think of it... I have not brought it up to anyone else in my family because it is none of their business.

  3. #3


    My fiancÚ has known since shortly after we started seeing each other 2 1/2 years ago. I used to always wear something over my diapers at night because I didn't want him to view me as anything less than the normal person of who I am. He assures me he understands, but as previously stated, it is a hangup I think I have because of the diapers. I still don't let him see me change even though he has offered to help many times. It was just last summer that I would start going to bed in hot weather without pants and just a t-shirt & diaper. I was lucky to find him and he never showed any "ick" factor when he first found out, just accepted it as part of me.

    Mom knows I wear, but I would never let her see my diapers, whether on me or not. We stayed with them for a week last year when we visited and it was embarrassing enough just trying to get the used ones to the garbage knowing that she knew what I was taking from our room to the can outside.

  4. #4


    i have been verging on incontinence for years, and doing everything i could think of all that time to deal with the problem. every thing but diapers that is. it's a childhood abuse thing with me.

    at different times in my early life i have played around with diapers. and later on shared them with very close friends in play activities. but i could never get over the emotional burden surrounding events that i can't even fully remember when i was a toddler; and the need for using them in recent years. wanting to use something and needing to use something are two completely different emotional responses.

    so recently i found myself with a bad dislocated shoulder. that turned into a frozen shoulder for which i have been in physical therapy. and having to use a lot of NSAID's under Dr. orders. probably not a lot for most people, but for me they are enough to put my IC right over the edge. i no longer had the illusion of control over my water as it were.

    now Karen (my Spouse) had known of my problems and some of my efforts at control. but i now had to go buy diapers, bring them home and wear them not just to bed, but when She and i went out too. it's not like i could hide it, although i did try to get dressed without Her watching me. a little hard as my right arm was not working at all well and i needed Her help to dress for a while.

    about a month or two into the whole thing one night; Karen said She had something to tell me. it seems that She felt i looked really cute in my diapers. i was shocked..... i didn't know what to say, She and i talked a bit about it. and i think i told Her that i was so very grateful that She found something to like about my diapers.

    Karen loves me and supports me. but i can't say that i am completely comfortable, all these weeks later. though i have a new outlook and i am changing my behavior. i know i must get used to this as i have lost my muscle/bladder control and can't seem to get it back even though i have cut back on the NSAID's. if this is going to be a part of my life i am just not going to be in the closet over it.

    embarrassed...... how about beet-red! i have been told that i turn that color once in a while by more than just Karen. but i can't let myself think about it, or let it stop me. besides that, every time it has happened so far my little's would instantly come out. so i just let them deal with the beet-red stuff......

  5. #5


    I don't like to let my partner see me in diapers. He knows I wear them but I still don't like him to see it, and I always wear a pair of boxer-briefs over the top.

  6. #6


    I am not comfortable with my mother in law seeing me in them nor my parents. I get embarrassed if my parents see me in them and it has happened before on accident. One time I had no choice because mom needed to use the bathroom and didn't want to hold it or else she wet herself she said so I had to open the door and let her in and I had just gotten out of the shower and was already diapered. It was very uncomfortable that I was standing right there with her in the room with a diaper on.

    Though I am not incontinent but it's still awkward to be seen in a diaper by people who know I wear. I am not even comfortable diapering in front of them or getting a new one out or changing it in front of them.

    But yet I feel comfortable with my husband seeing me in one and diapering me and I can change in front of him with no problem. Maybe because he is into it himself but he is more of an AB dad.

    PS my ex who was also incontinent never let his ex see him in a diaper nor would he put one on in front of her or change. But yet I was the only person he let me see and he would do it when I be in the bedroom with him. Probably because I was into diapers so he felt comfortable doing it in front of me.

  7. #7


    It seems like you have a lovely and supportive wife, and as much as it will take a long time for your embarrassment to subside, I think maybe telling her that you feel that way and seeing what she says may be good. She might have thoughts on how to make you more relaxed

    Only my ex saw me in a night nappy, and I was Always BEET RED :P

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by beeeblebum View Post
    It seems like you have a lovely and supportive wife, and as much as it will take a long time for your embarrassment to subside, I think maybe telling her that you feel that way and seeing what she says may be good. She might have thoughts on how to make you more relaxed

    Only my ex saw me in a night nappy, and I was Always BEET RED :P
    i have been trying to think of a good way to respond........

    Karen isn't my wife exactly. it probably only matters to me, but Karen and i have a long history. i was married to Her, but that was 13 years ago. and at that time She was my Husband. Karen is a m2f post-op.

    to be honest, i am a m2f post-op as well (smile)...

    we were Husband and wife 20 years ago, and now are girl friends.....
    is that clear as mud.....

  9. #9


    I can kinda relate. I feel really odd about putting one on and going to bed with my boyfriend. Even though he knows and supports my ABness, (I bedwet, so the diaper hasto happen at night) I feel embarrassed when he shuffles with it, or brings it up and all that. I bet it'd be a different story for everyone if those weren't out of the ordinary.

  10. #10


    Thank you ask for replying. Im so glad I'm not the only one who feels this embarressed. Im glad my wife supports me. I just hope I can feel relaxed around her soon. I would love to hear from more people

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