Hi, so I've been working on this for a few days now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell my mum very soon. I'm actually pretty confident on how she'll react. I have taken extra steps recently to make sure we remain close.
I originally wrote this a few days ago but after swapping and deleting some paragraphs, getting rid of certain words to make it easier sub-consciously I have ended up with this letter. I know many of you think it is wrong to tell anyone, especially a parent. But I'd love you all even more if you could support me. You are the only people I can really come to about this at the moment and talk with.
All suggestions to improve the letter (Which I'll be sending by email) would be much appreciated. (The format has been slightly destroyed when I copy and pasted it)
Thanks guys <3
Please don't worry if you're reading this. This is just an email to tell you something I have wanted to bring up
for the longest time. It is slightly embarassing for me telling anybody but after a large amount of thought I have
decided to tell you. It's certainly a little strange, even more so for one who doesn't actually experience it. It
isn't advertised anywhere and it isn't very wellknown either which can lead to uneducated assumptions.
Please tell nobody about this. I am telling you this in complete confidence because you are my mum.
Everybody has a form of stress relief in their lives. Something to take the edge off when the stresses of everyday
work and life start straining you. You smoke to take off the edge, some people take drugs, some people drink.
Everybody does different things. I do something that is even more different, but don't think for a
second I am the only one. There are thousands, millions even, of people in the world who experience the same
as me. There are communities everywhere online for what I share with so many people.
You may remember many years ago when I came crying in your room. At the time I was starting puberty and I was
experiencing brand new urges. At the time I told you I had a 'fetish' for girls wearing
nappies (Diapers, the american term, is used more often and online) We discussed it and from what I can remember
you were understanding of the situation (Which I can not thank you enough for and has helped me send this email
Even on this day I still experience such urges. However, they have massively changed since that day. It is no
longer a big 'sexual urge' but instead a very important stress relief.
When NAMECENSORED was very ill I was very confused. I knew she was ill, but the child then felt nonexistant. I feel
I missed out on a lot of interaction as for many years the major focus was on NAMECENSORED and her illness. I don't
blame anybody. She was critically ill, the situation could not be helped. Still, it left me missing out on a lot
of interaction. As if I missed part of my childhood.
This sparked this urge inside of me. Some people experience 'regression'. I can assure you, this is not what I
experience. What I am and do experience is 'DL' (Often accompanied with A/TB as ABDL's) DL stands for
What this means is that I am either (or both) sexually attracted to nappies OR am attracted to nappies to relieve
myself from stress. I am the latter. I wear nappies (Not constantly, but in privacy when stressed) to escape
stress. It just makes me feel calm and happy. As if I can just relax. It gives me a sense of security and
carelessness which I missed out on in my childhood due to my sisters illness. Her illness and the immense focus
meant my life became very stressful and that I HAD to grow up faster and take on more to get through the time.
I know you knew. When I was young I had an odd thing with nappies and baby dolls which I'm sure you knew
about. There was a time when I was at grandma's, I found a nappy in the toybox, and put it on in the bathroom
(leaving it behind thinking it would not be found) which you may or may not remember. There is also our talk
when I was younger which I mentioned earlier. It is something we have never talked about since and I never thought
This is routed deep inside of me. It isn't like a phase where it has come recently. I have experienced it for years
and events like NAMECENSORED's illness really caused it to reveal itself.
Before I go further I have found some handy questions and answers from a AB/DL community website which
may answer some initial questions.
Is a person who wears diapers the only person like this?
No! Certainly not. Whilst being interested in diapers is not something that people are likely to advertise,
preferring to keep it private or between only a few close people, there are many people who are interested in diapers.
There is a very active online community of people who enjoy diapers, and in some larger cities there may be regular
events or meet-ups catering for people who enjoy diapers (I have never and don't plan to go to such meet-ups)
What kind of people are interested in diapers?
In short, anybody can be interested in diapers. People who are interested in diapers can be of any gender, any
sexuality, any age, any country and come from any background. Although online communities cater mainly for teens
and adults interested in diapers many members report their interest in diapers starting in childhood. Having an
interest in diapers should not affect your friend/loved one from leading a successful life. We have members from
a range of background here, including parents, lawyers, teachers, nurses, engineers, students etc.
Is there something wrong with people who wear diapers? Do they need therapy?
No, there is nothing wrong with having an interest in diapers. Whilst it is unusual it is not an interest which
should cause any psychological or physiological harm to a person, or others around them. It is unlikely to be
something they can change about themselves, with the interest and desires that stem from it usually being
deep-rooted within individuals. Members of the community who have been to therapy in attempts to suppress
this desire usually report that the therapy had no effect on their interest in diapers and attempting to
suppress an intrinsic desire may result in causing a person psychological harm.
What does this have to do with real babies/children?
Nothing! People who have an interest in diapers are interested either in wearing and using diapers, and
sometimes other items from baby/childhood. The interest in no way involves real babies/children on any
level. (Basically - I am NOT a pedophile! xD)
What is a DL?
The abbreviation DL comes from the term ‘Diaper Lover.’ A diaper lover is generally described as a person who
enjoys wearing diapers
How can I support somebody with an interest in diapers?
The main thing that people who are interested in diapers wish for is almost always acceptance. They are aware
that there interest is unusual, and of a taboo nature, and as such many people who are interested in diapers
are scared of disclosing that side of themselves. The best thing you can do is assure the person that, whether
you understand their interest or not, you accept it as part of them.
So those are the questions I found that apply to my current situation. Now there is a reason I have told you
all this. It isn't because I want to engage with you or anyone I currently know with this. It is because,
although I have access to items that help me fulfill this stress relief they can be very hard to access on
my part as you may get to such a parcel first or see its contents. Second of all I have to find a place
to store such items where there is low chance of you finding them. This in itself creates its own stress! I'd
never want you to come across them and be left with no explanation.
I never wanted to have you find out, it would leave you with so many more questions than it would me actually
coming clean, being honest and explaining.
I have told you so that I can fulfill my stress relief desires without actually creating more stress with
fear of getting found out and leaving you without answers.
This side of me is completely private. I do it in private, it is my thing. You're the first person I have ever
and probably will ever tell. Why? Because you're my mum. You have always told me that you will accept me
however I am, that I can talk to you about anything and most of all that you love me! So this is me, talking
about 'anything'. No matter how moody I get or whatever I say to you (Puberty has and still occasionally causes
immense moodswings as you may have already found out! :P) you're my mum and I love you. I hope that telling
you this (Which has taken an intense amount of thought, effort and stress to do!) hasn't changed that!
I just want to be able to fulfill my desires in private without knowing you could potentially find out and be
left utterly confused!
I have been researching this for many many years now. I understand it completely. I know that you won't. If
you want I am willing to spend as much time as you'd like explaining this to you as I am sure, despite my best
efforts, you may still be confused and unsure what to do with this information!
Lastly; please do not make up any assumptions about this until we have talked about it properly. There can
often be uneducated negative stereotypes attached to this.
All I want is for you to still love me and accept this unchangable side of me (Trust me I've tried to change it!)
I love you forever mum. You cannot believe what a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that you know and I
hope with all the strength I have that you accept me and understand.