Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Possibly giving the fetish up

  1. #1

    Default Possibly giving the fetish up

    After doing some work with my therapist, I have sorta come a few conclusions.

    A) I have never really seeked out a healthy relationship with another male - I never seeked out a relationship based on equality, I wanted somebody who served as a paternal figure.

    B) I have always felt helpless around other people. This fetish is a part of the helplessness that I felt so comfortable in.

    C) I really do not know what the fuck I want to do with my life, and who the fuck I am. All I know is that I was kept in diapers on-and-off until I was almost six, and that I am kinda resistant to healthy decisions in my life.

    Perhaps I should hold off on the adult baby fetish, at least until I know who I am and what I really want to do with my life. I am even starting to seriously question what my true sexual orientation is in this point in my life. That is how confused I am about who I am at this point. I really do not know who I am, and I really do not know what I want.

    Does anybody have any input on this? Just wondering, that's all.

  2. #2

    Default

    If it's putting a damper on your growth in anything in life then I say you should put it on hold. But as usual I doubt it's possible to give it up forever.

    Don't pretend like it doesn't exist (unless it doesn't and you were fooling yourself ) but put it on the backburner until you can get yourself sorted out.

  3. #3

    Default

    I would like to know what your therapist would say if they read this post. The idea of a healthy life is a la laudable goal, while the idea of being normal ends up being fantasy for the most part. If you evaluate things with a competent therapist and deem it necessary to quit AA style then I support you, however if you have someone subtlety pushing you to chase the wind then I think you are bringing trouble your way.

    Also don't be afraid to get a second opinion on the matter, professional not the peanut gallery like here.

  4. #4

    Default

    are you asking us what you should do?
    or telling us what you are going to do?
    it sounds as though your therapist has given you a good roadmap. all you need to do is believe in the therapy, and follow the yellow brick road.
    unless of course you can't give up the idea of wanting a parent for a partner/spouse. and i can't and don't blame you for that. i certainly can't live without my "daddy" (stomps foot).

    however, you do need to become an equal participant in any relationship in order to balance out the side of you that isn't well.... shall we say, well balanced. you also must also find a relationship with a person who can appreciate what it is that you have to offer.

    so, what is it that you have to give to a healthy relationship?
    Ok, maybe i shouldn't include the word "healthy". it sounds so bloody "vanilla" and straight, doesn't it. make a true personal assessment of your self (if you haven't already), and have others who know you look at it and give you their opinions. look for the truth about your self! and then try to help your self; make the changes that you can in your life. be real with your self; to your own self be true (as it is said).

    as you can love your self, so others can love you.

    it's a hard process, and it's never finished for those of us who need to go through it.......

    this may not be what you wanted, but it's the best i have;
    little lodge wrecker.........

  5. #5

    Default

    If it's a serious problem then by all means stop for a few months and clear your head. Stuff like this can make you confused and forget what you're all about. Don't pretend that this isn't a part of you (and your sex life) but perhaps try and figure out how to incorporate it well into your adult life, it's easy to say that you shouldn't be doing this at your age and that it isn't healthy but providing you can do this while still maintaining a healthy adult life. This is a part of you but should not be your entire life or even the major focal point; this is almost like a hobby in some sense, something that you can do for fun after work.

  6. #6

    Default

    Well, I just talked with my therapist again today. Frankly, the adult baby fetish does not bother him one bit, and he sees no reason for me to completely dispose of that in my life.

    What he is concerned with is the fact that I always have been looking for a paternal figure whenever I had a lover, and that each lover I have ever had has been more than twice my age.

    I should be looking for guys my own age to hang around, instead of mourning the reality that I am now far too old to catch the eyes of just about everybody I had a relationship with in the past.

    So, I can keep the fetish, as long as it does not interfere with my ability to maintain a relationship based on mutual trust and equality.

    I thought I would come back here to clarify my therapist's intent. That's all.
    Last edited by KaworuVsDrWily; 11-May-2012 at 01:43. Reason: Fixed a Typo

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by KaworuVsDrWily View Post
    After doing some work with my therapist, I have sorta come a few conclusions.

    A) I have never really seeked out a healthy relationship with another male - I never seeked out a relationship based on equality, I wanted somebody who served as a paternal figure.

    B) I have always felt helpless around other people. This fetish is a part of the helplessness that I felt so comfortable in.

    C) I really do not know what the fuck I want to do with my life, and who the fuck I am. All I know is that I was kept in diapers on-and-off until I was almost six, and that I am kinda resistant to healthy decisions in my life.

    Perhaps I should hold off on the adult baby fetish, at least until I know who I am and what I really want to do with my life. I am even starting to seriously question what my true sexual orientation is in this point in my life. That is how confused I am about who I am at this point. I really do not know who I am, and I really do not know what I want.

    Does anybody have any input on this? Just wondering, that's all.

    I'm going though the same crap. I was a split second from losing my virginity to a friend who happens to a mother of a child. Unfortunately, thanks to stupid chemicals in my brain it didn't go the way I wanted to and I had to spill out the secret to the one girl I may have considered long term relationship to. Never have I experienced more tension than that. I could have told her I was gay and I think she would have understood better. She wasn't mean and that just drove me even more crazy. I could lay in her lap and get "excited," but when it came to making out and what have you, nothing. Found it kinda gross honestly.

    I realize none of this really helps you, I just want to say your not alone if that's worth anything. I've always sought maternal relationships, and it looks like it's going to be that way for a little while. ..

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by KaworuVsDrWily View Post
    Well, I just talked with my therapist again today. Frankly, the adult baby fetish does not bother him one bit, and he sees no reason for me to completely dispose of that in my life.

    What he is concerned with is the fact that I always have been looking for a paternal figure whenever I had a lover, and that each lover I have ever had has been more than twice my age.

    I should be looking for guys my own age to hang around, instead of mourning the reality that I am now far too old to catch the eyes of just about everybody I had a relationship with in the past.

    So, I can keep the fetish, as long as it does not interfere with my ability to maintain a relationship based on mutual trust and equality.

    I thought I would come back here to clarify my therapist's intent. That's all.
    My Psychiatrist said the same thing when i had a terrible depression.
    I have a wife and i have merged this into my life, and the rules you mentioned apply.
    You cannot change what you are attracted to, and if you could change it i suggest you better your odds by changing your pattern of age related partners, and keep your fetish.

    You might go in thinking, its so not what i want and end up being happy as a pig in brown goop.

    Good luck.

  9. #9

    Default

    I went through this too myself a while back and I gave up on being AB to work on my social life more. I have accepted the AB side of mine and I let it out at home alone but I am happier with who I am cause I had to rebuild my life after bad experiences in 2004. After that I took the bull by the horn and decided it was time for big changes. I gave up on the AB side for a while, save for my blankie and my whale I sleep with- and did a complete 180 in my life. I turned it around and giving up AB had a lot to do with it. That and so did the job I had a the time- a job I do miss actually sometimes.

    I learned a lot while I was giving up the AB thing. I learned I had more friends than I thought I had and I learned I could be a normal person instead of feeling so abnormal cause of the autism and what have you. I learned how to be social, enjoy life and live life to it's fullest.

    Nowadays, I'm at a point where I am comfortable with my AB side more since I am pretty much back in diapers most of the time due to some incon problems and AB helps me deal with the incon. So- summary of this is; everyone goes through this. I did and I am glad I had the problems I did in 2004 and I admit I had some theraputic help too with a counsleor who I was cool with. I also had a lot of help from my co-workers and bosses too.

    Working on your life can be a rewarding thing and it's something that I'm glad I did in my life. Something I don't regret on and it's something that makes me feel better about who I am as a person as a whole.

    WildThing121675

  10. #10

    Default

    I think you and your therapist have figured this out. If finding someone your age to share your life with is formost, and the diapers are getting in the way, then put them on hold. If you can find someone who can accept this, then perhaps you can have both. The important thing is finding someone who can make you happy.

Similar Threads

  1. Im giving up diapers
    By LittleBoy52 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-May-2012, 01:47
  2. Giving back
    By Khaymen in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 29-Sep-2011, 23:36
  3. Just giving this a shot
    By alwayslittle in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 29-Jan-2011, 11:31
  4. Giving Blood
    By diaperedteenager in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 19-Feb-2010, 07:24

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.