After doing some work with my therapist, I have sorta come a few conclusions.
A) I have never really seeked out a healthy relationship with another male - I never seeked out a relationship based on equality, I wanted somebody who served as a paternal figure.
B) I have always felt helpless around other people. This fetish is a part of the helplessness that I felt so comfortable in.
C) I really do not know what the fuck I want to do with my life, and who the fuck I am. All I know is that I was kept in diapers on-and-off until I was almost six, and that I am kinda resistant to healthy decisions in my life.
Perhaps I should hold off on the adult baby fetish, at least until I know who I am and what I really want to do with my life. I am even starting to seriously question what my true sexual orientation is in this point in my life. That is how confused I am about who I am at this point. I really do not know who I am, and I really do not know what I want.
Does anybody have any input on this? Just wondering, that's all.