hmm, where to start.
Looking back I seem to always have wanted to wear diapers. My parents say I potty trained early and easily having been motivated by wanting to be out of my diaper one warm summer night. I don't remember then but they were cloth diapers.
The first memory I have of wanting to wear a diaper was when I was really young. My brother and I are just over a year apart. He was a bed wetter and always wore a disposable diaper to bed. I remember many nights asking if I could wear a diaper to bed like my younger brother however was never allowed to; I even remember trying time and time again to put one on myself one night however could not seem to get it taped correctly. I remember getting in trouble when my parents found the diapers in the trash can in the bedroom. Those were innocent days. Eventually my brother stopped wetting the bed and the diapers around the house dissappeared too.
Growing up I always thought it was cool for kids to get to wear diapers. In grade school I remember pantsing a kid who was wearing a diaper. I did it to be funny and make all my friends laugh, however did wish I was able to wear a diaper too. I never understood why kids were made to pottytrain when they seemed so happy and content in a diaper.
In middle school I started having friends stay over and going to spend time at friends houses. I noticed after one friend would stay over that there were large pullups in the trash. He wet the bed. I discovered what he was wearing were called goodnites; a larger plain white pullup for someone my size and age. I snuck one of them when I would visit his house from time to time and wear it. This went on for a couple summers until he moved out of state with his mom.
As time went on my family got a connection to the Internet with what at that time was a super fast 14.4k modem linked to a pentium 60 processor computer. I discovered sites like deeker and dpf. I was amazed that there were other people who wanted to wear diapers too. I never was caught, or atleast confronted by my parents, I was the token computer kid and knew of things like a browser history from day 1 of Internet browsing.
I began to work up the courage to ask my mom to buy me a package of goodnites. In building up courage I found the goodnites website and was stoked to find that they offered a new larger size in a blue package. In a fashion they continue to use today there was an offer for a free sample. I ordered it in my name. Having ordered the package I knew I would need to ask my mom for a package before they came in the mail.
When I eventually did ask for my mom to buy a blue package of goodnites for me I had written it out on a piece of paper. "mom, would you buy me a package of goodnites; the xl size in the blue package. You must promise to not tell anyone!". She only asked me one question, what they were. She knew what they were, it's what my friend had worn years ago. I don't know why she asked; but I must be one of the most luky people because the next day in a brown sack she had two packages of goodnites for me on my bed. She to this day has never asked me about it.
I asked her to buy me goodnites a few other times through highschool but tried to let the interest disappear as I got older and approched college.
College started smoothly and I was settling into dorm life. I went to a small school south of Portland. The only store in town was bimart. With more freedom I decided it was time to buy my own goodnites. I had a classes early and decided to take my empty backpack after morning classes and ride my bike to the store. I'm sure I was like a ghost; luckily the store was all but empty and the cashiers were older women who I knew I would never have to worry about. Timing the register lines to avoid a line I grabbed a package of goodnites and made my first purchase. This continued through changing schools; I always timed it such that I would find a quiet time at a store to make my purchase. As the goodnites product got smaller and college helped with my figure goodnites stopped fitting. I switched to depends since they were available locally. I graduated in 2007.
I managed to keep this from all the roomates I had through the years and even the few girlfriends I had.
There's slot more story to fill in here but I'm going to skip ahead for now.
I'm now married and have a house with my wife. She knows about me wearing diapers from time to time which has been quite an adjustment for her. I credit her for helping me level out the binge and purge cycles and her patience and love she has shown me as I've told her about this part of me a d we learn more about it together.
I go by the alias of goodnites2002 because it was the year I first signed onto a forum and goodnites are the first "diaper" I wore since being potty trained.
I hope for this introduction to be an ongoing work in progress that I will fill in more completely as time allows.