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Thread: WHY do you want to tell people?

  1. #1

    Default WHY do you want to tell people?

    All right, this is a theme that I've been picking up here and there on this website. So here is my question:

    WHY would you want to tell ANYONE about this side of your life?

    I think it's perfectly great to share that with a significant other, or people who are in this community.

    Otherwise, I think it's enormously private. What is the compulsion to share? Why would you want to tell your family or friends about this? I really just can't wrap my brain around this - discussing my underwear preference (especially something not mainstream) with my family or friends just seems vulgar and wrong. If someone mentioned it to me, I'd think, "Why are you telling me this?"

  2. #2


    Most people are social. Doing something you enjoy is often more enjoyable when done with company. It's about as simple as that.

    Although if you're not very social, or the activity is embarrassing for you, then doing it solo makes more sense.

  3. #3


    I have no idea. I agree 100% I cannot see why others should know. No matter who you tell, they will judge you for it, even if they do not realize it.

  4. #4


    Doing something you enjoy is often more enjoyable when done with company.
    There have been several threads mentioning people wanting to or telling their family and friends, i seriously doubt they want their parents or same-sex friends to wear diapers with them, so this doesn't make sense to me.

    Regarding the OP, i agree 100%. Naturally when you reveal this side of you to anyone but yourself, it SHOULD be embarrassing, i honestly have no idea where people get "the desire to just tell someone".

  5. #5


    It's a personal decision for each person. My wife knows and my room mate/boyfriend from college. But after that, there is no other, and for very good reasons. I have to live and work in my community. I know that a majority of people would not understand my enjoyment of diapers, and they probably would be weirded out by the mere thought. The sad reality is that we are portrayed so poorly by the media. In commercials, we have been comedic jokes. On reality TV, we have been made to look as if we are crazy.

    Having said that, I understand what bambinod is saying, and this is why we have these discussions. It does make sense that many of us want to be able to share what I would call, baby play with a special person. In addition, many of us want a boyfriend/girl friend, and that means we should tell them about who we are, and what so many of us, myself included, are compelled to do. This however, is very different than telling our friends, grandmother, grandfather, etc.

    I always advise, when someone asks if they should tell, to ask yourself why. What is to be gained. There are a number of good reasons. Sometimes are younger members need psychological support from a parent, or want outside professional help. As adults who have an intimate other in our life, we can feel like we are cheating on them if we are indulging our fetish behind their back. There are bad reasons as well, and if one is young and still in school, the entire class finding out could be devastating, so one should always think long and hard before telling. Knowing why to tell is key.

  6. #6


    as a "tranny" i have a certain understanding that may shine some light on the question as i too have been wondering about this wanting to share stuff with others......

    in my more youthful times; my coming out times; at first i was lost and had no "name" for myself. i wasn't straight anymore, but i wasn't exactly gay either. it's important to belong don't you think, and well; i didn't. even cross-dressers belonged, but that didn't.

    you see, being transexual back then had a lot to do with a process of not being anything else. and the very few others like myself all kept away from one-another so as not to give each other away. well, i was young and i didn't like that. and i wanted to tell everyone after a while because i didn't like being so cut-off from the world. so frightened that someone would find out my dumb-ass secret. life was not fun the way i was living it and it didn't look like anyone else was having much fun either.

    well, i wasn't the first one or the only tranny to start leading a more open life. but i did do it and i look back at it and make this comparison.

    i hear the term used on ADISC "choice of underwear"....

    well, when a person first starts living as a girl, every time she goes out into the public eye she is saying to everyone who sees her that "my choice of underwear are girls panties". well, don't you think that is a real public statement? wanting everyone to know i mean..... that is why i started being more open, what choice did i have.... and than slowly the honesty really did set me free.

    so now "my choice of underwear" is/are diapers..... and i have already been through this stuff....... yea, it was a few years ago, but i understand that the honesty can set me free in a way that i can't explain......
    just maybe that is what some of the other people here on ADISC are feeling or going through.
    i don't know, i can't speak for them......

    lodge wrecker.....

  7. #7


    I don't want people to know but I feel like I need to tell someone. It's kind of confusing but it feels like if I don't tell someone then I feel alone... It'd be nice to tell someone but I don't want to risk ruining a relationship.

  8. #8


    Because if people now you wear and don't care, it takes stress off you of trying to hide it and it makes it easier for you to wear.

  9. #9


    i totally agree. i wouldn't want my friends and family members telling me about their weird kinks and fetishes. no disrespect to people who have told others, but i don't understand why you'd share this with anyone other than a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband.

    if anyone ever found about me i wouldn't even explain it. i'd just say "please respect my privacy and forget you ever saw that. this is my business, not yours."

  10. #10


    Alll of these posts tap into what makes us human. If we feel excited about something we are experiencing a flood of endorphines and want to share or connect this experience with someone else. Seratonin also plays into this in a much different way. It is perhaps a combination of both. One chemical induces the thoughts of love and survival while the other promotes laughter, appreciation, and acceptance. When the feeling of wearing is new and exciting our level of caution goes out the window much like the feeling of falling in love. When we are under this influence we may want to announce it to the world. We are not always apt to make the best decisions while in love. It's all consuming.

    On the flip-side of this emotion is dread and anxiety. Let's say you played a prank on someone. You may soon wonder if you've gone too far and could in result hurt this person's feelings. The next natural step is to tell someone else of the prank to recieve conformation on your decision based on their reaction of what you just told them. This also plays into the feelings of being diapered. With little reasoning behind it other than an "unsober" mind, we may seek that same type of confirmation from a neutral subject. This is called affirmation.

    A good example to understand this desire is to lightly compare it to the affects of alcohol. Alcohol when consumed alters our mood and hence alters our decision making process. We may/will make different decisions and conclusions while sober than under the influence.

    I can completely understand the desire to tell someone. I have often been at work and when a co-worker asks what I'm doing this weekend I have heartfully wished I could say I'm gunna put a diaper on. This is much like the fantasy of "getting caught wearing". It is an intoxicating thought.

    When we stop for a second to evaluate how odd this would seem to someone we can appreciate the magnitude of it. Remember, it is completely human to want to share this desire but reality can be brutal.

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