I figured I'd share this because I'm sure some newly exploring and getting to know this side of their personality have dealt with this type of thing. It can be very unnerving but ultimately a learning experience for coming to terms with the real you.

Little bit of background..

I long repressed my DL side for a number of years out of both fear and thinking it was some sort of symptom I needed to be cured of and would go away eventually. Which is where this dream is a bit rooted in.

The Dream Itself

I've felt pretty good last couple of days actually taking a step into this side of myself. I bought a pack of diapers, worn and used them to my delight, and have generally felt a bit more whole. Not to say it has been very easy given my nervousness, but as they say comfort zones are often expanded through discomfort. In my dream I was standing in the aisle of my local department store that actually carried diapers in my size. I grabbed a pack and headed to grab a magazine. The first magazine was some sort of weird psych mag, one of the articles was "Cure your fetish, and you won't need it." I picked it up and flipped to that article where is pretty much lambasted my own DLism as something that can be cured, and I should cure it because it can be and evidence says I have deep rooted issues. That my sexuality got "confused." Over and over it that's all it said.

I stared deeply into the magazine desperately clawing at my own self to see if it was right. It couldn't be...why should I have to? It scared me I didn't have an answer, and scared me more I didn't know myself that something in me could be lurking I didn't know of. That feeling of uncertainty and self doubt....my pride and feeling of certainty had been crushed

It's all okay.

I tend to look at dreams as the mind processing things and helping it come to grips. Sometimes accepting something of yourself you've long held back puts you in an unsafe place. It's like you've had home base destroyed! Fear of not knowing, or even fear of what it could be hiding is a bit of fear of the unknown. My mind just is trying to find home base again with this new development.

If often find dreams like this to be a good tool. I usually write them down and say something self re-affirming after which I say throughout the day. It's a bit of bump I still think I have with this. But I'm sure anyone else that's been there knows you get bumps all the time.