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Thread: Anyone care to Help with my Dilemma?

  1. #1

    Default Anyone care to Help with my Dilemma?

    Before I get into my problem here is a little background story. I have a disability and I have to use a wheelchair which obviously makes toiling very difficult. Ive been in and out of diapers throughout my life for accidents and such. I know if I wore diapers it would make my life easier. I had another accident today and I was totally embarrassed. My problem is should i tell my family? And if they go along with it would be awkward with them changing me my friends and family knowing etc. Has any one else ever had to deal with this problem?

  2. #2


    Darkknight, I personally have not had to have to depend on people changing me but I have had to deal with telling my family. My mom and family have always been in support of my diaper use to manage accidents and incontinence. The day I started having accidents all the time I was not able to hide it anymore. I woke up that morning to the worst accident I have ever had in bed and I just burst into tears. Later I told mom and she hugged me and comforted me and told me that there was no shame in what went on that accidents happen and that maybe I should wear my diapers more. Even though mom was so supportive I was terrified of what the rest of my family and friends would say. But they all were surprisingly supportive and did their best to reassure me that it was okay. I dunno if this helps you, but I hope that it encouraged you to have the confidence to tell your family. It is important to have that support. Hope all goes well for you.

  3. #3


    Hi darkknight,
    I understand where your coming from what i will say is tell your family about your accidents and have a discussion with them about diapers. I would also go and ask your doctor for some advice about your situation. Regarding your embarrassment about telling your family and freinds it is not nice to have accidents but if they are aware of your situation they may be able to support you. Regarding being changed by other people i would say this is down to your personal abillities. I know this from experience as i have a disablity like binkygirl i am not reliant on other people for changes but i know that if i need help help is avaliable.

  4. #4


    I have had major surgery on c4,5 and 6 and had to have people help me for 6 weeks friends ,family and nurses
    and comes down to you have to do it.

  5. #5


    I'm sure they would be supportive I mean they know about my accidents and everything. But I'm worried they might think I'm just lazy. I'm not IC or anything but I do have frequent accidents because it takes a while for me to get to the bathroom.
    It's especially difficult when traveling because the bathroom is so small on airplanes and such. I have to have someone help me in the bathroom all the time when I'm not at home and I encounter a lot of in accessible bathrooms. I just don't know how to tell them.

  6. #6


    If it's easier, it may be best to tell them in email, if your mother or father check it regularly. Tell them that you just are embarrassed by it, and that's why you're doing it by email rather than face to face. They will likely want a face to face conversation but at that point they will likely have their questions and thoughts sorted out and they will ask you what they want to know, say what they want to say, etc. I hope this helps, I have a brother with CP so I understand how difficult it can be to navigate some tight places and get around in a wheelchair. I hope all goes well for you, best of luck.

  7. #7


    Or might it be possible to get a friendly medical professional to write something about the efforts you have to make taking over our life and explaining that wearing protection would improve the quality of your life considerably and save you from the prospect of loosing control with the accompanying difficulties and embarrassment? You could send this to your folks explaining that you are not using a pad as an alternative to going to the bathroom- just as insurance against the times when your mobility issues mean you can't make it in time. I am sure they will understand that a bit of precaution taking will make for a happier you.

  8. #8


    You're right consulting with my doctor would probably be the best bet. I just don't want to deal with any unpleasant tests or anything like that. Tesla I have CP too It took me a long time to master toilet training and I still deal with accidents. I hate having to wait around for someone to help me in the bathroom or waiting for someone to help me on and off the toilet because if no one is around I'll have an accident. If you don't mind me asking Tesla does your brother wear?

  9. #9



    When you are having accidents because you can't get to the toilet fast enough, you are experiencing something that is functionally equivalent to urge incontinence (although the physiological mechanism is possibly different). I suspect that you would find that wearing protection would be a practical solution to your problem and would prove to be a major source of peace of mind. A wet, or even a messy, diaper is a lot less embarrassing and a lot more comfortable than wet or messy pants or beds.

  10. #10


    Often times i'll go long stretches in the day without using the bathroom because of inaccessibility. I feel like diapers are the most practical solution in these situations and I know my family would be supportive but Ive been using the toilet for so long I just cant help but feel embarrassed about it. I mean how do you ell someone that you find the toilet to be inconvenient and want to wear diapers now?

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