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Thread: Been going through a rough time...

  1. #1

    Default Been going through a rough time...

    I have issues with anxiety, and a large component of that is obsessive and irrational thoughts. I essentially convince myself of either improbable things with no evidence or "worst case scenarios" with similarly absent evidence, and once I've convinced myself of this, it will not leave my head. For instance, I recently washed my clothes with detergent that I found in the laundry room, and convinced myself that someone with HIV/AIDS had fornicated with it, thus infecting my clothes. You see where I'm going with this.

    Lately, my irrational obsession has been that I'm a sexual predator of some kind. Again, I cannot stress enough that I AM NOT, and these are just fears. However, being an AB/DL makes this particular fear nearly unbearable; I imagine we're all familiar with the unfortunate "pedo" stigma that we sometimes get, and my find feeds on that. I think about every time I've been aroused by a diaper and come to the conclusion that I'm I'm an awful person. Even worse, I'll think about times I mentioned having this fetish to someone on Omegle or something, and I'll think that I forged a connection between "sex" and "childhood" in their brains, making them likely to abuse someone and making me somehow complicit/responsible.

    Honestly, I'm sorry if this seems odd, but it's been wearing on me. I can usually address my irrational fears with family/friends or anxiety/OCD communities, but since this concerns AB/DL I'm more comfortable doing it here. Thank you if you've managed to read this far.

  2. #2


    Hey there BabyBirch,

    Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time, I too suffer from sever anxiety and know what it's like to ruminate about situations that are created out of thin air. Let me start with the pedophile stuff for that is in a whole different category than the rest: if you don't get physically attracted to either little boys or little girls then you have nothing to worry can not develop a sexuality out of a stigma, that comes from within you (and a bunch of other things that really don't need to be discussed here and now.)

    For the anxiety, OCD and such my most honest opinion would be to seek out a psychologist- don't get that confused with a psychiatrist, they prescribe drugs, seeing a psychologist rather would give you a safe place to talk about and work on such things. I have only recently started seeing a psychologist a few months ago and the stuff really does work; she helps me find ways to think things through differently and I have come to realize that lots of people have these stressers (the ones you have and the ones that I have) though some, because of predispositions and incidents that have been engrained in their mind, go through loops in their head to try and deal with them.

    There are also other things, such as yoga and meditation that can also help you refocus your mind and I am sure there are many videos online for free for you to practice.

    Just to be clear; you are not going through anything that other have not gone through and fought their way through, so don't feel hopeless, with the right support and motivation you will get through this seemingly bad period.

    I hope that helped.

  3. #3


    Thanks for the response; I do have a therapist (stopped going for a few months, started back up when this brand of thought flared up again) and she can certainly talk me down from my catastrophic thinking. I haven't worked up the courage to tell her about AB/DL, but I might if this particular obsession doesn't subside.

    I've tried meditation in small amounts, never practiced it very seriously but I may try. Same with yoga. Thanks again for the response.

  4. #4


    I have to agree with going back to see the psychologist. I would talk about being AB/DL as this is at the heart of your present problem. When my mom discovered my stash, she sent me to a psychiatrist where I had to discuss it. It turned out to be less of a big thing with him than it was in my mind, so you can do this.

    I think your psychologist can help you deal with the connection of pedophilia and your attraction to diapers. If you were really a pedophile, you would know it. One is either sexually attracted to children or they aren't. It's a strong sexual pull, often causing the pedophile to act on it. This would have cataclysmic results, causing a chain of harmful events. Since none of this is you, you can safely put it aside. There is no connection to infantilism, though one could be a pedophile and attracted to diapers. I just think that your psychologist is a person you can talk to face to face, in the real world. Her helping you talk through this will bring you peace and comfort. I believe it would be well worth it for your peace of mind.

  5. #5


    Hey, BabyBirch I also have anxiety and I was diagnosed about 2 years ago. I was experiencing panic attacks and for my entire life I have experienced irrational thoughts like you described but under different circumstances. I actually was put on medication before any consideration for therapy. I wish this was not the case, as I feel that drugs may hide the problem but will not ultimately fix the problem. I am now off of anxiety medication and I seem to have alot more energy and life than during the time I was on them. So if I have any advice for you, it would be to seek counseling again. Side effects from medications are also a big inconvenience for someone.

    I know it seems hard, but you have to convince yourself that you are absolutely not in any way an awful person for being an AB/DL. And you certainly won't damage anybody else by telling them about your fetish. I also know what it's like to still feel anguish and fears even when told that nothing is the matter. If one of your relatives or friends had personally told you that your clothes did not have the HIV virus, would you take the chance to believe them? I know at the peak of my anxiety, nothing a friend or family member told me could make me reach my senses. You need to find ways to cope and relieve your stress however possible; And if being an AB/DL helps relieve your stress, than by all means go for it! And don't feel ashamed or evil for taking part in it.

    All in all, I sincerely hope you the best with your anxiety issues! I think being a Teen baby and my artwork has really supressed my anxiety and maybe all you need is a really good hobby!

  6. #6


    Don't stress to much. It's hard to address the feelings of being a "pedo" but only you can know if you are or not. And since you said you are not, relax a bit.

    Try going to see a psychiatrist there ARE some medications that will help. I know this for sure, maybe even talking to a professional alone could help. But getting medication to use as a "spot treatment" when you get really paranoid could also help.

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