I have issues with anxiety, and a large component of that is obsessive and irrational thoughts. I essentially convince myself of either improbable things with no evidence or "worst case scenarios" with similarly absent evidence, and once I've convinced myself of this, it will not leave my head. For instance, I recently washed my clothes with detergent that I found in the laundry room, and convinced myself that someone with HIV/AIDS had fornicated with it, thus infecting my clothes. You see where I'm going with this.
Lately, my irrational obsession has been that I'm a sexual predator of some kind. Again, I cannot stress enough that I AM NOT, and these are just fears. However, being an AB/DL makes this particular fear nearly unbearable; I imagine we're all familiar with the unfortunate "pedo" stigma that we sometimes get, and my find feeds on that. I think about every time I've been aroused by a diaper and come to the conclusion that I'm I'm an awful person. Even worse, I'll think about times I mentioned having this fetish to someone on Omegle or something, and I'll think that I forged a connection between "sex" and "childhood" in their brains, making them likely to abuse someone and making me somehow complicit/responsible.
Honestly, I'm sorry if this seems odd, but it's been wearing on me. I can usually address my irrational fears with family/friends or anxiety/OCD communities, but since this concerns AB/DL I'm more comfortable doing it here. Thank you if you've managed to read this far.