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Thread: Strong urge to tell people...

  1. #1

    Default Strong urge to tell people...

    I want to tell people that I'm transsexual so badly T^T I want to tell my church first, but I'm afraid of what they'll all think. My youth pastor already knows, and he took really well (he wants to set up a date over Spring Break to talk about it).

    I don't know what came over me. It just came out of nowhere, and now it's eating me alive. Maybe because I'm sick of seeing how real guys behave, the music they listen to, etc. etc. I'm just sick of being labeled as one of those disrespectful douches (sorry, I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but if you're transsexual like me, you'll know where I'm coming from.... and going to my particular school doesn't help, either). I want people to know that I'm not a guy at heart!

    People do see how I behave differently from other guys, though. The guys think I'm weird (or "queer", to be technical), and the girls... well, they notice my behavioral differences, but they don't say anything about it. Just yesterday the guys in my PE class tried to insult me (but failed) by saying that I need to go to the girls' locker room because I'm a girl. They tried to insult me, but instead made me feel proud on the inside.

    Still, I just need to get it out! I'm slowly descending back into depression. Any advice?

  2. #2


    I feel your pain. Just recently someone asked me if I was "coming out" about being gay (mind you, I'm not) and I soooo wanted to say "No, I'm not gay, I'm transexual, there's a difference" you know?

    Do you have anyone at school to confide in and trust? Preferably another girl.

  3. #3


    I don't really have any advice for you unfortunately, but best of luck. I hope it all works out okay.

  4. #4


    When this happened to me (but with the DL part) I wanted to tell everyone but felt the same way. At first I only told my 2 best friends then I got brave enough to tell my mom. Once you get over about what people might say about you try to find the person you trust the most that dosen't know. If they accept it ask them what they think you should do. The most important part is to take it slowly.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by SBLeslie View Post
    Do you have anyone at school to confide in and trust? Preferably another girl.
    A friend who I consider to be my sister knows, and she's super supportive of it. And the girl I'm madly in love with knows about me being a DL/Babyfur/transsexual and she said that she loves me back :3

  6. #6


    I don't have any suggestions or advice sadly but I can say we're here for you if you need it and give you a big

  7. #7


    That's great Pandora. You should ask them for advice also. Friends who you can trust that well are vital.

    P.S.: Cute avatar

  8. #8


    I understand as someone who goes through the same feelings the desperate need for validation, that's at least what I'm assuming the drive to want to tell more people are. Just to be able to find accepting and loving people worth getting to know, and just to feel like some people see you as a girl. While the internet really helps with girls like us, to be able to express yourself.. but there is still that awful factor that people do tend to assign gender roles and make such immediate and quick assumptions about what kind of person you are simply based on your physical gender. Traits that are seen as masculine are something that I generally don't associate with myself, and obvious you don't as well.

    Not to criticize you, but I honestly feel one of the better ways to fighting these feelings that you are trapped into the mindset that other people will view you as nothing but a boy is to really examine how you look at boys as well. I feel that often, even half the time transsexuals can be the strongest fighters against sexism, we tend to end up becoming a bit sexist ourselves half the time in our treatment of those whose physical sex we wish to discard. Without trying to make you feel bad, because that's the furthest thing I want to do, I've seen these sexist tenancies in myself and I'm seeing them in you even if I only have a post to go by. You want to discard being seen as a guy because of how you see them.. and one of the best ways to feel just a little less miserable and depressed is to realize that seeing guys as masculine stereotypes is causing some of that. It's hard to gain acceptance as a girl in a boy's body and feel happy to be yourself if you also see being male as something so fixed and you were just one of the odd ones.

    Who any given person is on the inside should never be based on by the sex they were born with, and many men in the world.. many of the most 'manly' people I have met are sensitive, caring, intelligent, thoughtful, wonderful people I would never be ashamed to be mistaken for. While they are not me, and I am a ball of feminine fluff.. to treat them as something disgusting is against the very cause that I truly want to fight.. the only reason I am born with these feelings is because the pressure that I feel that men cannot be these things, that men cannot be demure, shy, sweet, caring, feminine people who run around in pinks and fluff. If you view the other men in the world who are comfortable with their gender in this way, of course you'll want nothing to do with them.. but the fact is that they are not gross pigs and they are human beings that deserve respect to be whoever they truly are. Please try to think of men and boys as wonderful beings as well, because they truly are just as much as women and girls.

    Preaching aside, indulge in you! Do all the things possible to express yourself as strong as you can, and surround yourself in the people that you have even if they are just online that do understand that. If you can express yourself through drawing or writing that's a really good start.. and can help you release these emotions. I also am always a PM away and you can just rant and rant to me. I feel sorry that I opened the message like that, but they are the conclusions I have come up with after thinking long about the reason I am a transsexual, and I really am just hoping they can help you deal with your own depressions.. because once I realized that I was myself acting in a sexist manner I was able to deal with being physically male just a little more then before. It's not a cure-all, but it can help.
    Last edited by gigglemuffinz; 30-Mar-2012 at 13:17. Reason: Just a few minor edits, message is the same.

  9. #9


    I fee your pain. It was killing me keeping it in so years ago with the help of a psychologist & a few antidepressants I finally told my family & a few close friends. The feeling of having this huge weight lifted from your shoulders is a wonderful feeling. But the reactions of a few of the people I told quickly burst my bubble. I would start with someone that is really REALLY close to you first, then go from there. Good luck & I hope you get the acceptance you are desiring.
    Remember you always have us here that accept you no matter what

  10. #10


    Sorry if I did sound a little sexist in my post, but there are only a handful of respectful guys in my school... the rest are either drunks, stoners, just plain disrespectful, or all of the above. Not kidding.

    I just wish there was an easy way to tell people this. Nowadays people will get more support if they say that they're homosexual, but if a guy shows his feminine side for a second, no one will let it go for months. T^T

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