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Thread: My mom didn't help with my bed wetting

  1. #1

    Default My mom didn't help with my bed wetting

    During my bed wetting days (nights) my mom wasn't very helpful. All I got was the threat of spanking or stopping my water intake after dinner. There was no emotional help from her. And one time when her friend came over she told me that he could smell pee and she said that it was me and that she was so embarrassed. If she was so embarrassed then why didn't she do anything to help? That made me angry. I asked her for night time diapers but she said i was too old for that and that i just need to stop peeing in my bed (like there is a switch or something)

    I just thought i'd share that with you guys. Did you have a similar situation?

  2. #2

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    Yeah but my mum was more passive aggressive than anything, only bought diapers for me but never mentioned them or spoke about them until I told her I was too big for them and then she just said that I'd have to stop wearing them (Goodnites may have been very new at this point) and she would say that no one else in my year wet the bed (according to statistics there may have been another one but I'll never know). Basically I did feel like it was my fault in some way rather than a problem that I had to deal with, eventually I did stop after a year of wet sheets but I was never congratulated when i had my first dry night and I was so happy with myself.

    Sounds like I'm blaming her and setting her up as an awful mother but I'm guessing she was just stressed out and didn't really know how to deal with an 8 year old bedwetter and without the anonymity of the internet that we have now, didn't feel like she could talk to her friends without feeling embarrassed about it.

  3. #3

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    I was 13, and my mother simply laughed at me when she saw my sheets in the wash. I wish I had just told her it was feminine problems, because she made me feel embarrassed by it. So yeah, not all parents are helpful with bedwetting. You find ways to come to terms with it and you learn to be more patient about it if you end up ever having kids who do it. Not speaking from experience, I just simply have a list of mistakes my parents made that I decided I will never repeat. I'll just find new ways to screw them up or never have kids.

    Empathy towards our parents is also helpful. They aren't the all-knowing giants we think they are when we're 4. We come to terms with the fact that they are only human and they make mistakes and if they could do it over they might have dealt with it differently. Parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual.

  4. #4

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    My mom tried to help, but she did it in the worst ways. Honestly, *bdl or not, if your kid bedwets, make him or her wear a diaper. I don't care, make them.

    Instead of making me wear, or even offering them, she gave me a plastic sheet to protect my mattress. I have to be serious here: that is the worst idea I have ever heard to help someone with bedwetting. They're loud, they're obvious, and they're embarrassing. I'd rather have someone discover a pack of diapers I need for bedwetting, than to sit on my bed and hear the crinkling of plastic. My mom tried to cover it up. She'd say it was to stop it from getting dirty and the like, but they were so blatantly obvious that I'm sure no one bought that.

    She tried to comfort me, but comfort only goes so far. If she would have given me diapers to use for bedwetting, I'd have been able to go to friend's houses to stay the night and attend little events that required overnight stay. That's one of the biggest reasons I'm a TB.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by KuroCat View Post
    My mom tried to help, but she did it in the worst ways. Honestly, *bdl or not, if your kid bedwets, make him or her wear a diaper. I don't care, make them.

    Instead of making me wear, or even offering them, she gave me a plastic sheet to protect my mattress. I have to be serious here: that is the worst idea I have ever heard to help someone with bedwetting. They're loud, they're obvious, and they're embarrassing. I'd rather have someone discover a pack of diapers I need for bedwetting, than to sit on my bed and hear the crinkling of plastic. My mom tried to cover it up. She'd say it was to stop it from getting dirty and the like, but they were so blatantly obvious that I'm sure no one bought that.

    She tried to comfort me, but comfort only goes so far. If she would have given me diapers to use for bedwetting, I'd have been able to go to friend's houses to stay the night and attend little events that required overnight stay. That's one of the biggest reasons I'm a TB.
    my mom bought me plastic sheets too. stupid idea as it doesnt stop me or my sheets from getting wet.

    its like the mattress was more important.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroDL View Post
    my mom bought me plastic sheets too. stupid idea as it doesnt stop me or my sheets from getting wet.

    its like the mattress was more important.
    Exactly. Your clothes and the bed gets wet. The only that is safe is the mattress. Why not just protect everything and allow the bedwetter to wear diapers? I don't understand why my mom decided plastic sheets were better.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by KuroCat View Post
    Exactly. Your clothes and the bed gets wet. The only that is safe is the mattress. Why not just protect everything and allow the bedwetter to wear diapers? I don't understand why my mom decided plastic sheets were better.
    While I'm not saying what she did was right, maybe she was just confused with what to do. Maybe she thought it wasn't so bad. I wasn't a bedwetter but I remember when potty training I had a plastic sheet too. Mattresses are very expensive and can't be washed. Clothes and sheets can be, maybe she thought that if she put you in diapers she'd be belittling you? Maybe? I dunno, but it's possible.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroDL View Post
    my mom bought me plastic sheets too. stupid idea as it doesnt stop me or my sheets from getting wet.

    its like the mattress was more important.
    in a different thread, i described how my 6-year-old daughter is having bedwetting issues, and how we recently decided to have her wear Underjams indefinitely until she no longer has trouble. i never thought of it that way - why are we protecting the mattress more than we're protecting our daughter? your comment has messed with my head and reinforced my (and my wife's) decision. thanks!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroDL View Post
    During my bed wetting days (nights) my mom wasn't very helpful. All I got was the threat of spanking or stopping my water intake after dinner.
    Wait, what? She's fine with spanking you, but you're 'too old' for diapers?!


    I feel as if my stash should be hidden even though my mom knows about me being a DL.
    I think this is at least partly why she's reluctant to buy you diapers for this problem. My mother has reacted similarly to my wanting diapers, although she's conceded to buying them for me. She found out about me wearing diapers before she found out I still had wetting issues; I think that makes it hard for her to see them as a tool to help me with a problem rather than 'baby stuff'. When we talk about it, she always says the same kinds of things 'This isn't how things should be', 'We're supposed to be getting you away from wearing nappies and stuff'...statements which are clearly about her own discomfort with me wearing them rather than anything practical.

    This was backed up by her repeatedly saying things like 'We should get a plastic sheet on the bed instead' and 'You just need to go the doctor and get some medicine', despite me explaining numerous times why neither of those is a viable solution for me (I can't sleep on a plastic sheet, and I have to get up on time for school and stuff, and I refuse to take drugs that might harm my kidneys and whatnot).

    It all feels very reminiscent of when I was a little girl and having wetting accidents. I was scolded and shamed for them, and to be honest, I always felt my mother and father were more concerned with not being 'embarrassed' by having a daughter who still wet herself rather than worrying about dealing with it as a real problem. I learnt to hide it, eventually.

    I also had a plastic sheet on my bed when I was younger, and I can say it really is an awful, awful idea. I had my nieces and nephews round (they were the same age as me) every other weekend, and I remember having to wake up in a wet bed and try to hide it from them. Everyone in the family must have known I'm a bedwetter.

    So yeah. Sometimes parents suck :P

    Edit: Okay, this is a little fishy to me now:

  10. #10
    Butterfly Mage

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    My dad accused me of wetting the bed on purpose when I was a child (makes no sense). I wasn't even given a plastic sheet. All I got was condemnation. And mom was drunk 24/7 so she only cared about vodka.

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