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Thread: Advice?

  1. #1

    Default Advice?

    I need some advice what to do about this situation...

    As I am aware that my fiancee prohibits me from wearing diapers at the night time. At first, I was okay with it, but eventually I start to miss wearing it at the night time and want to sleep in it and thought it would help me sleep better. So we got into mild arguments about this and I tried to convince her to let me wear it at the night time... she won't budge.

    Her concerns/believing if she allows me to wear at the night time:
    -it will cause me wanting to wear every night then eventually 24/7
    -losing my bladder control at the night time (considering I have long history with bedwetting)
    -eventually it will cause to lose daytime bladder control
    -there are few incidents when I was out (diaperless) and suddenly I realize I have to go to bathroom and almost lose it... not sure if its directly related to this since it's extremely rare. This happened after I wear diapers nightly for a week or so
    -Increase the chances to get rashes/infections despite I have cloth diaper, this never proven on me just yet

    So... is it just me that I am being bit selfish that I want to wear diapers at the night time despite her concerns or what should I do? I told her if those problem arises, I will deal with it but she still won't let me wear it at night time.

    She even confessed that she will never understand why I like to wear diapers. She tried to support me for this just because for my happiness sake. Due to her growing intolerance with me wearing diapers, I became uncomfortable wearing it around her now. I only wear it whenever she isn't home. I have no intentions to put her in negative light or anything like that... she's wonderful... just that she seem growing tiresome of the my whole DL side in recent months and cause some minor tensions.

    Any thoughts/advice?

  2. #2


    Of course the obvious suggestion is can the two of you compromise? All couples make compromises over the many intricacies of living as a couple. Why should this be any different. Because of my wife's dialysis schedule, she is a home dialysis patient, I wear and use diapers on Wednesday night, a non dialysis night, and Friday night. Would you be able to live with wearing two nights a week, especially if you are wearing on some days, and other opportunities?

    If she can't make any compromises, you are at the crossroads. Either you will have to give up diaper wearing, or give her up. Only you can make this decision. I can understand her being uncomfortable with having a diaper wearing fiance, and maybe husband, but as others have said, everyone has baggage. Let he/she who is perfect cast the first diaper...err..stone.

  3. #3


    Well, try banning her from wearing make-up in the daytime, see how she reacts to that idea.

  4. #4


    If shes not willing to participate don't make her. I know I will take crap for this, but it is selfish. It sounds like you are going to have to pick her or the diapers and I know people here are going to preach the whole "if she can't accept you for who are you then she isn't right for you!" or whatnot, but lets be realistic. Would you really leave her just because she doesn't like your Fetish/Hobby? You can still engage, just do not do it around her. With Marriage comes sacrifice, and that is required on both ends. In MY opinion, you shouldn't force it on her, as she does not seem willing.

    But the bottom line is I can understand her point of view. And honestly I agree with her, sleeping with someone who is peeing themselves isn't desirable for most people. In fact its a turnoff for many. It is a weird fetish and sometimes you have to learn there is a time and place for everything, and if she doesn't like it, find a time and place that is not around her.

  5. #5


    well, try banning her from wearing make-up in the daytime, see how she reacts to that idea.

  6. #6


    For clarification, she isn't banning me from wearing diapers. She told me that she have no problem me wearing it during the day and try not to make it too obvious (i.e. wearing diaper with t-shirt around her is no-no and will make her uncomfortable) if she's at home. She just don't want me to wear at the night time when I go sleep due to her concerns like I stated in my post, that's all.

    So I am trying to learn to accept that I can't wear at the night time, I guess. I am jealous of some of you guys that able to wear during night whenever you guys please. *sigh* =P

    I am not throwing out nearly 4 years relationship with wonderful woman over diapers. It's rather silly thing to do.

    I don't blame her for feeling this. It's okay... I am not angry or anything at her for that.

    By the way, if I ever try to ban her from wearing make up... she will scoff from that. She never wear make up with except maserca (whatever that spells...spelling check sucks) whenever she go out. =P If I ban her from drinking tea which she loves... then it will be problematic. =P Of course, I will never do something like this to her.

    Anyway, thanks for your thoughts/advice so far. I appreciate it.

  7. #7


    Maybe ask if you can have one day a month so you can join in with the rest of us for sleep in diaper Friday at the beginning of the month, and say that if she really has a problem with it you'll sleep in the spare room that night. You might feel after the first night you'd rather have her and your own bed than the diaper and she might think that a once a month is some thing she could live with because she can't sleep without you by her side either.

  8. #8


    Oh my sis I'm sorry to hear this!

    I can sympathize. My wife does not allow me to wear to bed when she's home, which is practically every night. The few times she has been out of town, I wore to bed and she was fine with it. At all other times, though, no padding is permitted.

    She sees my diapers as a symbol of my little side. She's fine with this in general; I can wear all day around her. It's just that she envisions our bed as being a place where two adults reside and celebrate their marriage in both intimate and other more subtle ways.

    So, I can understand why she wouldn't want me to incorporate padding into that. As regression is a non-sexual experience for me, the last thing I would want to do is make her think it was in any way. Since I can see how open and accepting she is in allowing me to pretty much cub out anytime I want outside of the bed, I feel that it is more than a fair compromise to honor her wishes.

    Now, this is she and I. I am not trying to say that this is how every couple should operate. Some spouses and significant others are more accepting than others. These are the attributes we have to live with and understand going into the relationship. While she shouldn't expect you to give up your love of padding and getting closer to that LG inside, this might be something you have to bend on.

    These emotions are tied into your viscera and by their very nature HAVE to be selfish, although I don't mean that in a negative light whatsoever; nothing is more personal than your feelings and how you experience them. Damaging selfishness only arises when you choose to act on those sentiments without considering other parties. Simply by the fact that you have tried to talk to her about it, I wouldn't call you selfish at all. In a relationship, discussing how you feel, even when you disagree, is the only path to resolution.

    The solution might not be the one you like. For a long time, I was very unsure about whether my little side could survive my marriage and vice versa. It took a lot of introspection and therapy to come to the conclusion that it doesn't have to be an either/or statement. Marriage is the most difficult adventure I have ever undertaken, but it's not meant to be quick and easy, or a puzzle you can solve in an afternoon.

    Consider this desire to be one of the pieces. If it feels like it won't 'fit' in the big picture right now, set it aside for a while. Maybe she feels pressured at the moment, maybe a bit through trying her hardest to fully accept this side of you, maybe through external forces, or perhaps a mix of both. I think the best thing you can do is not wear to bed for a month or so and when she has cooled off a bit, you might be able to reintroduce the idea.

    As it's been said a million times before, these feelings aren't going away. However, the love between you two isn't vanishing into thin air, either. While this may make the whole dilemma seem more worrisome, examine it from the opposite angle: there's no need to rush the matter. You are in this for the long haul and, eventually, the matter will be resolved. It may not be the concrete answer you were looking for, but when I came to this realization, it gave me hope and allowed me to put the issues my wife and I must tackle over time into perspective.

    Take one day at a time. Wearing to bed at the moment might not be in the cards, but that doesn't at all mean that it never will be in the future. Relationships are always evolving and as long as love binds you together, anything is possible. My wife made me see this and it has allowed me to worry a little less about what's over the horizon. To quote a Mister Jagger, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try some times, you just might find, you'll get what you need." (And I'm not even a Stones fan...^^)

    The two of you will be in my thoughts! Best of luck! ^_^

  9. #9


    MCsquared, that is good advice. However, despite all the efforts, my wifey wouldn't allow me to wear diapers in the bed with her. I was thinking to have a small bed in my office for day time naps and I can sleep there time to time myself in diapers... that could work. I can find ways around it.... =)

    Onecho, aw thank you for the lengthy post and advice. I guess I don't really think of what she sees from her point of view. You got good point that the bed should be 2 adults and be like that way. I guess she prefers that, and I don't blame her. I think I start to understand.

    Of course, she will not ask me to give up my love for LG stuff and wearing diapers. Her request just that I don't wear it in the bed, and not wear all of the time, that's it basically. Ironically, she seem to be in favour of my LG side more than my DL side though. She often comments how cute I am when I act like a LG.

    Indeed... marriage isn't easy thing to work! That's why I want to sort things out and everything before I marry her in May. Of course, I don't have any doubts or something like that... just want to... make sure, you know, that's all.

    Thanks again, my sweet bro for the great advice. <3

  10. #10



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