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Thread: Help Please

  1. #1

    Unhappy Help Please

    I have a package of goodnites that I use from time to time. Well, after I use one (urine), I'll just put it behind this box in my room for a couple days until nobody is home and I can throw them out. Anyway I woke up today and they we're all bagged up sitting on the table next to the couch I was sleeping on ready to be thrown out.

    So now my mom knows and I have no idea what to do. We've said a few words this morning, but so far no words about it.

  2. #2


    id confront her on the matter if it concerns you.

  3. #3


    You can either start the conversation, or wait for her to. Either way, think about what you want to say before you say it. If you want to come out with the fact that you like them, then do that. If you want to lie and make up an excuse, which isn't the most recommended route, do that. Get some information about it and memorize it, know the facts. Tell her that this will keep you away from drugs and alcohol, and that this will help you in school. What we do, when it all boils down, is a stress reliever, and tell her that. A openminded parents usually won't argue with that too much.

    Though I must say that I don't know your parents. With some it is easier to just hope she never says anything about it, which might be the case, but either way, know the facts. Your parents also might be the most openminded people in the world, in which case go on and tell them if your ready.

    With whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck, and know that you got ADISC behind you every step of the way.

  4. #4


    If she hasn't said anything about it then maybe she doesn't think it's a big deal and is just going to forget about it. It might be best if nothing is ever said to just leave it at that.

  5. #5


    Or maybe it's her way of saying "this is none of my business but it isn't nice to leave used protection stashed away for days at a time" - the result is not likely to be very pleasant to the nostrils! There are hygiene issues as well and I guess few of us would advise "stacking up the evidence". Maybe you will now be able to feel freer about disposing of used Goodnights without needing to hide your actions - I never just dump my used products but always bag them so as to avoid offence or questions. (I am as old as the hills, medically incontinent, but still sensitive about what people think about me). At 16 you re not quite an adult so parents can claim a legitimate interest in your welfare and development - sounds like your mum is a understanding person who didn't jump in at the first opportunity for a confrontation - be grateful for that. As a parent I would rather know my son or daughter was using bed-wetting pants for pleasure than have to worry about the possibility of them having a illness that presented them with bladder control problems. Some people have misplaced fears about bladder control products - it doesn't sound as if your mum is one of those, but there are several trustworthy sites she could use to get reassuring information.

    It's been said before, but "Good luck"

  6. #6


    Well do you want to tell her? If she hasn't confronted you yet then either she doesn't want to talk about it and just carry on as normal or is waiting for you to make the first move.

    The first thing I'd advise you to do is be more careful with your diapers and certainly with how and when you dispose of them from now on to minimise the number of times you get caught. Next I'd advise you to prepare for a conversation with her about it regardless of whether you want to tell or not to prevent yourself from getting surprised if she does want to talk; perhaps have a small note prepared which says what you'd want to say to her about why you have diapers and then provide a few links to sites that provide a better and more varied explanation of what being an AB/DL is all about (Understanding Infantilism is probably the best place to go). Lastly keep a low profile for a few days to minimise the chances for a confrontation if you truly do not want to discuss it because then it will be pushed to the back of her mind, not forgotten about but certainly won't feel as important as it will for now.

    Also if she does ask don't lie about bedwetting, this will just end badly for you.

  7. #7


    As someone who has managed to survive raising two daughters (who also survived, mirable dictu), I tend to see these things from the other side. The standard (and reliable) wisdom when it comes to having those awkward conversations with your kids is to wait until they explicitly show you a need to know. And when they do, don't BS---they won't believe you anyway and it undermines your credibility and tends to give them the impression that you don't respect the validity of their questions (let alone their intelligence).

    I'd say treat your parents the way you want them to treat you. Some things need to be explained; some things just need agreement that they won't be.

    Best of luck, and be more careful! (And dispose of your dirty diapers---good advice for everyone.)

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