I've been brewing my thoughts for this post in my head for a few weeks now and what better time to do it than after reclaiming my gold grillz back. Like most my posts, yes it's probably gonna be long but would you expect any different from me? I will say though that there is some life lessons I throw into this mix so maybe you can gain something from this? Well, at least I hope you can.
The last few weeks for me have been a turmoil of events that have left me no choice but to tough them out and hope for the best. There were times when I was really struggling with trying to keep a positive attitude but in the end I decided it wasn't worth it to give in to it. Where did this all start exactly? Friday, Feb 17th. We received some of the best snowfall that week and I was counting down the days till I had the chance to shred some slopes. Unfortunately for me that session did not last when I took a pretty hard fall to the top of my knee early afternoon. I knew right when it happened that I screwed up but like a idiot I decided to walk it off for the rest of the day by just riding to ride and no more tricks. I called out of work that night (graveyard) because I was still in a lot of pain and knew I wouldn't be able to perform my nightly duties. Just no way in hell, my line of work is full on physical activity.
Fast forwarding to Sunday morning, the pain was only getting worse. My better half finally convinced me that I should go checked it out because it was swelling up like crazy and look liked it had no intention of stopping anytime soon. I hobble my ass to urgent care and they take x-rays first off which come off clean. Not knowing what else to do they tell me to just keep it iced, elevated, wrapped, and stay the hell off it for now. Of course that means they write me a get out of jail (work) card for the following week. Since it was a holiday weekend I wouldn't be able to see a follow up doctor till Wednesday that they recommend since their a orthopedic doctor. Oh and they gave me a prescription for Percocet which I find out the hard way I'm allergic too. Wednesday comes and I hobble my ass on over there. He tells me nothing is broken but I should consider myself lucky because it could of been worse. The way I fell was my saving grace since it was dead on center of my knee, top, and flat. If it was at any kind of angle I would of broken bones easily but instead all I suffered was a really bad contusion which resulted in some painful tender tissue. After all is said and done he writes me a release note so I can return to work which I was hoping for because the lack of income really starts to bite you in the ass after awhile. Don't get me wrong I love the time off but I have responsibilities that can't be ignored. Damn this adult life! *shakes a fist in the air*
That night I return to work and do my thing. No, it wasn't easy but I survived so I considered it progress. What was around the corner though I never saw coming. I wake up later in the afternoon and go to hose down the outside patio for our husky here. I look down after removing my socks to see something isn't right here. My freaking foot is swollen like a pin cushion and there's all sorts of collections of blood pooled around the toes and side. I've never seen anything like that so of course I freak the hell out.Not having the mental energy to deal with it right away I put it off till the following morning when I once again return to urgent care. They are stumped as to what the hell is wrong with my foot so tell me I should go to the emergency room on walk in status to get it checked. I do so and boy did that suck but than again I think it's a given since all ER's suck. Finally I'm seen and I can tell there stumped as well. They tell me they've never seen a foot like that and are convinced it has to be something to do with the recent knee injury. A blood pool is their answer. Great. Thanks nurse obvious! I love how they try to cover it up by sending me home in a velcro cast and crutches. Of course more time off work follows. Fun. -.-
Days go by and the problem pretty much heals itself on its own. I'm now back at work in full force and everything seems back to natural well except for my head. That sucker never stops thinking and that's where I come to some self reflections.
I was worried my boss was gonna tear me into when I finally returned and talk down my love for snowboarding. He did just the opposite though and told me to do what I love while I'm still young to do it. I told him this doesn't change anything, given the chance I would hit up the slopes this weekend if it was possible. I refuse to live a life in fear.
"A life is not worth living if you live it in fear"
Passion is what this comes down to and I love to board. I will do this till the day I die, Shred till Death is a personal moral of mine that I follow. I just don't want to live my life with anymore regrets. I'm tired of saying "what if", "why", etc. Sick and sick of saying these things which makes it sound like some kind of cheap tactic to avoid what is wrong in my life. No more bullshitting basically.
Now, you want me to trip you the hell out? Check this out. I made a post awhile back on here about setting goals for yourself and following through with them. One of those goals for me was looking into laser tattoo removal. I'm happy to report I'm finally in the process of removing something from me that has done nothing positive for me. For years I have questioned my self esteem every time I see this painful reminder that reflects so much on the demons of my past. Fuck you demons.
And you know, I know I made the right decision with this. Life sure has a funny way of working itself out with all the cards that have been stacked against me lately. I was driving home from Dr.Tattoff and I was in the left lane. It happened so damn fast but over in the right lane ahead of me a car came to a sudden stop to make their turn. No blinker. Nothing. The car trailing behind them smashed into them. It doesn't stop there, a motorcycle was following behind the second car and tried to stop in time but only whipped out of control sending him and his bike down. I watched his body roll across the street heading straight for my path. I was able to stop in time thankfully but man what a scare. After all was said and done it really made me question what the hell just happened. I personally believe it was fate that I was there. What would of happened if it was someone else behind the wheel? A speeder? A asshole? A cellphone junkie? Why out of all the days and years I have put this ink removal on the back burner this all goes down today? I can't answer that because I don't want to turn this into some religious debate. I'm simply content with the fact I did save this guys life and will take it for what it is. Still though, you can't help but feel floored at the way things work themselves out.
Final thoughts? What else can I say? Grateful to be alive. Grateful to be given the opportunity to continue to do the things I love. Grateful to save someones life so they continue to live theirs. Grateful I don't have to type anymore!
Thanks for your time as always.