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Thread: IC vs. ABDL

  1. #1

    Default IC vs. ABDL

    IC vs. ABDL

    Hi everyone! So I have some questions, because I don't know how to tread around the subject. I am a DL and other than wanting to wear diapers, I have no medical reason to do so. But the question is, how do people with IC feel about people who are AB or DL?!? *

    I ask this because I for the first time talked about diapers to someone I met online who is IC. He was crazy sweet to me and asked me to come over so I could get padded up. I was in a new city, and well, it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I went and got padded up and it was great, but because he needed to work we talked for literally 3 minutes! *But I didn't know how to respond to him, I didn't know how to ask questions about his relationship to diapers or IC or AB or DL. I couldn't formulate the questions to ask. *And to that same point i couldn't figure out how to talk about anything else since i couldn't talk to him about that. *Now maybe I am wrong, but if someone is wearing a diaper, and you know it, it's like the big elephant in the room correct? There are lots of questions! From someone who doesn't wear diapers there is the why? Is something wrong with you? And I'm guessing the occasional person who would think anyone who wears a diaper is a pervert. But from the side of the fence where people have to wear diapers and the other side where they just want to but don't need to, where is the gate? Do IC people have problems with ABDL people? I'm sure some do because not everyone feels the same about everything in this world! I mean look at politics! But is there an animosity at all towards the ABDL community?

    I'm just interested because I love all people! I hold no animosity towards anyone! If you have a medical condition I feel sad for your reality, but enjoy the person it makes you. It's not your fault you have IC, it's not my sisters fault she had cancer, it's not my fault that I am on most perceived notions completely healthy (which I have always wished I wasn't, but that's a different thread). I want to understand people. I really would love to be accepted in all communities but because I have a DL desire, I feel that I would love to make friends with people who like them too, and an IC person in my mind is so cool! I have so much respect for what you all go through! So I think that sums up what I am after! I don't really know where to go from here. So I'll just see what any of you all say! It's nice to know there is a community out there! Been searching for this for YEARS!*

    Peace! Love! Joy!

    P.S. sorry if there is already a thread for this, don't know how to use the site entirely yet! Especially from my phone which is all I have at the moment!

  2. #2


    Hi - Being a late developer as far as toilet training went, and now being IC to the point where i need a diaper almost 24/7 I hope you will understand that i am just about confident enough to share this response with you. When I was very young I kinda thought I "got away" with accidents in my pants because other people my age were just the same. When I was a bit older I was split between saying "What the heck I've done it in my pants again - let everybody else go hang - I'll just enjoy it" and being hyper concious of even the slightest leakage and taking very elaborate personal hygiene precautions.

    As I got older I got used to permanent or semi permanent wet places in my underwear and got round this by changing my pants very often and having a waterproof sheet on my bed "just in case" So leakages of one sort or another became a commonplace part of my life.

    Now I am more seriously IC I tend to concentrate on coping without my problem being obvious to too many people. I am still trying to achieve a balance about DL stuff - it is tempting to "enjoy" some aspects of discussion boards etc, but I don't want to let a DL interest affect my life too much - so I sometimes feel a bit naughty if I find myself getting too interested.

    Like you I am not willing to be intolerant or take judgemental positions about people whose interests and difficulties are different to mine. I hope to get respect from people - and to return it whenever I can.

  3. #3


    As you say, when it comes to politics, there will always be someone to disagree with you and take offence where none was meant. What matters to me when I evaluate the moral value of someone's actions is how I perceive their intentions.

    If you're a DL that says, "incontinent people are so lucky -- I wish I was one", then that's pretty insensitive to IC people who probably wish they didn't have such problems. Making light of someone's medical condition just isn't polite. But I think most IC people would understand that a fetish isn't something that should offend them.

    I remember a pretty awful/embarrassing faux pas I made once when I met a disabled kid. He was in a wheelchair that made the De Lorian in Back to the Future look prehistoric. He had a button to control every aspect of his posture, neon lights underneath (like a pimped car), a voice-activated computer, etc. It was the most advanced piece of technology I have ever seen and, without thinking, I said, "Wow! What an amazing chair!"... only to have the reply, "Yeah, it's f***ing great. It totally makes up for the fact that I can't walk."

    Now, I hope you can see that wasn't trying to be offensive. I suppose it was an insensitive thing to say (and I've learnt from that and would avoid such statements in future), but I just didn't stop to think how my technical fascination with anything might be misunderstood.

    There's always going to be grey areas, and people taking offence where none was meant. But if you just try to be nice and considerate to people, then... well, that's all you can do, isn't it?

  4. #4


    Thanks for your responses Dayannight and tiny. I just want to make sure that I didnt sound like I was wanting to be IC or say that I wish I was. Because I dont! I don't wish any medical problem on anyone!!! Whether it is big or small!!!
    And I would also say that I don't concider me wanting to wear, as a fetish. It is very much a comfort thing for me, and while I do concider guys in diapers possibly hot, that doesn't mean that I say it's a fetish. I don't want to wear myself or be with others who wear to get off. And don't have any AB needs. *But I guess I also don't know the definition of fetish, but also don't look down on those who do! We all have something I'm sure. *So maybe it is and I am ignorant on that front, o understanding fetish, but maybe not. Sorry if any of my message (this or previous) has offended anyone. *I'm just trying to get information so that I don't offend! And maybe other people can understand how to as well!

  5. #5


    My response may be slightly invalidated given that I'm both IC and AB/DL...

    But, most of what the AB/DL community says doesn't really bother me. I do get a bit upset when people start wishing (seriously, mind you, not just in a fantasy-related nature) they were incontinent. Trying to figure out how to actually harm their body. It's not fun and games. For some people, sure, that is something they will like - and I've got no problem with that. But there's a lot of people on here who either can't or won't consider the consequences and they're just thinking with their dick. That gets grating.

    Diapers are how I manage my problem. They aren't my disability. Nocturnal enuresis is my disability. If someone else wants to wear diapers for a different reason, then great, who am I to say no? But, wanting a disability is something else entirely.

  6. #6


    I have no problem with the ABDL community as a whole. If it weren't for one of them in my life I never would've gotten used to wearing diapers to manage my incontinence. However, if you're one of the assholes with no knowledge of what life is like, the shame, the embarrassment, and you want to become incontinent? Fuck you, die in a fire. As for the people that understand that it's not fun and games? No problem with you at all and I'll never say a word against you.

  7. #7


    I became incontinent as the result of a surgical misadventure when I was 14 years old. Almost from the very beginning, I found that the diapers I had to wear were a sexual turn-on. However, until the advent of the internet and discovering that there were other people who enjoyed diapers (whether or not they "needed" them), I was upset about enjoying diapers and felt guilty about it. Discovering AB/DL people made me feel better about myself and enabled me to start believing that enjoying the diapers I need to wear is OK.

  8. #8


    Sorry if I implied the original poster wore for fetish reasons - I don't think I intended to sound like that. My position is A. Diapers are personal and don't hurt anyone. B.The wearing of them is either for necessity or pleasure or compulsion and sometimes the motivation can get mixed up so that it is hard to be sure about "why" you need them, while being very sure they are right for you. C. What other people think is only relevant if your behaviour affects them - my wife had more cause to take issue with me when I wet the bed than she does now I wear a diaper to stop the risk of her floating away on the tide! D.If people who need to wear find even a smidgeon of enjoyment in doing so - then all well and good - we deserve something to counter all the negatives!

    I am not asking anyone to agree with me - but wanted the original poster to be clear that I wasn't being critical in any way.

  9. #9


    I agree with dayannight. Having studied this from a medical and psychology standpoint and lived both as an AB and IC person, I can say that there are many legitimate reasons one might wear diapers. The thing most people still seem to miss about Incon is this (and I feel I have to repeat this often on this site). Incontinence is not a disease, but a symptom of one. People are not just Incon. You are Incon because of a problem with your body, be it through an illness or injury. There are many people who are severely debilitated due to their condition and ONE of their symptoms is incontinence. Therefore, someone who is completely healthy and wants to become incontinent is insulting and just plain dumb to those that are. Here, let me make you incontinent and, oh by the way, I'll take your left kidney, rip out your ureters and cut off your legs too, thank you very much. Feeling more babyish now?

    As to the question of it being a fetish, look it up in the psych literature. This term is used very loosely on this site and in the media, in general. For most people, fetish is not the best term. Even though I wore them since I can remember, I was not turned on by diapers until I was a teenager and then it distracted and disgusted me. I'll repeat, there are many reasons people wear diapers and most are very good reasons (even if they are entirely psychological instead of physical). In my case, the main reason I wear is to manage a condition, not as a thrill ride.

  10. #10


    I think the two major reasons people are tabooed by dls is because they think diapers are childish amd horribly unhygenic. IC people knoe those are not neccessarily true and them having something a little taboo about them ( although not by choice) i would imagine most have a tolerant whatever floats your boat attitude.

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